Wednesday, January 2, 2008

The Richard M Nixon Look-Alike Contest!!!

The envelope please. Lemme just tear it open and... the winner...Mike Huckster-Bee!!! Look at the above photo, its all there. To win this coveted prize you have to more than physically resemble Nixon, you have to be Nixonian in your heart and soul. And who more than the Huck-man? He's not believable on any issue but so, so sincere as his dark beagle eyes look unblinkingly into the camera. People look at him and think, what if he turns out to be the same kind of non-conservative functionary that Bush did? But comparisons to W are not apt. W went to Harvard and Yale where he studied management and although you can accuse him of making some fairly egregious political errors you cant fault his nearly flawless management of the government. No scandals, no special prosecutors.
But cast your mind back to the fabulous 70's and remember Tricky Dicky. he got a lot done but he had a Congress that was left over from the LBJ landslide in '64 and by and large he went along with the swelling, metastasizing War On Poverty. Conservatives like William F Buckley and William Rusher HATED Nixon, maybe even as much as the Libs who finally did him in.
Huckster-Bee has the Dicky-vibe and the jello-jowls to prove it. And look at his friends! (see above photo). In fact he has the same 'I'm one of you, I feel your pain' TV delivery as you-know-who.
Yesterday he was on Hannity and Combes. Neither of those two could be described as a pushover but he out-filibustered them both. Hucky managed to NOT answer a question that bought his core conservative values into question. No answer is an answer-- he's not a conservative. He's just ambiguous enough to let you think that he probably might be. Tricky Hucky.

Now here's a VP choice if the Republicans should be so deluded as to give the nomination to Huckster-Bee. Billy Mays. One time I sent off for 'Sorb-Eze' at Mr May's behest, his screaming enthusiasm had me jumping up and down. Why this miracle product could take your Great Dane's carpet accident and make it as dry as the Gobi Desert in SECONDS! Now the Sorb-ezes werent bad. They werent as good as I was led to believe, however they did sop up water adequately. They also sopped up a twelve dollar shipping and handling charge, making this purchase of mediocre sopping rags a more than thirty dollar purchase. So Billy's raging enthusiasm can work for the Huckster-Bee- Mays ticket. If they get elected we'll wake up some day and wonder how we got this mediocre result for such a high price.

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