Thursday, January 31, 2008

The McLame Mutiny

The sneering, superior smile even tightened the chicken wattles on his neck as snarky John McLame sat there at last night's debate trying to continue his lie about Mitt Romney's supposed support for timetables for withdrawal from Iraq. I guess the time that it used up was helpful to McLame because it was time that he didnt have to spend explaining things like the Gang Of Fourteen or giving Social Security handout checks to illegal aliens or any of the many other times this creep has stabbed his party and the country in the back. He comes across as your smug, superior Uncle Charley who thinks every word he says is infinitely right and is actually looked upon by all as a monumental pain in the butt. The idea that this aged, dessicated, snarling wreck of a candidate, at the head of the pack of lounge lizards who turned the Party Of Ronald Reagan into the Party Of Denny Hastert, has any chance of winning an election against Dennis Kook-Sin-Itch is wildly absurd; Clinton III or Obamarama will squash him like a bug. I will not be voting for him, even though I have voted for every Republican presidential candidate since 1972. Let the Moderates and Independants support this inferior candidate.


In a long, and interesting speech, [Bill Clinton] characterized what the U.S. and other industrialized nations need to do to combat global warming this way: "We just have to slow down our economy and cut back our greenhouse gas emissions 'cause we have to save the planet for our grandchildren."

Even in the rare instances where Bill Clinton actually tells the truth its a whopper! This shows just how badly he's starting to deteriorate under the pressure of the failing march to Clinton III. Even though what BJ said is what every fat, upper middle class environmentalist whacko says in the privacy of their own home, to incite the proles by going public with it is a faux pas of monumental proportions. When the economy 'slows down' the middling managers see their cushy sinecures as fairly insulated from the cold winds of National Economic Planning; after all the carbon footprint of their trendy hybrid SUVs is fashionably low. Its Pancho Gonzales, Deshaun Washington and Joe Bob Quigly driving their filthy old beaters to the stinky, dirty factory who have to curb their unholy appetite for hydrocarbons. Wouldnt it be better just to be like Europe, with its wonderful 15% unemployment rates, where these blue collar types can just live completely empty drugged out lives in front of their TV sets? Illegal immigrants can cross our open borders and perform any of the onerous tasks required to support the Better People in the lifestyle to which they've become accustomed. Ah, life is sweet when you care about the Planet! Mark Twain said, "Everybody talks about the weather but nobody ever does anything about it." Well Mark, your dream has come true! We've been blessed with an entire class of well-educated geniuses to whom fixing the weather is merely a matter of putting the proper set of policies into place. Even if their data is constantly changing and always contradictory (while they ignore the most promising source of non-greenhouse energy, nuclear power) and they are turning a blind eye to the increasing pollution emerging from China and India (those blue collar jobs have to go somewhere, after all) these savants are so convinced of their infallibility that they have declared all argument over on this subject. So now the discredited economic planning which for the last century has failed to do anything but mire the societies that were deluded enough to institute it in grinding poverty, with a small, privileged, hereditary upper class directing a mass of impoverished helots who remain permanently and hopelessly trapped in their misery has become a matter of Planetary Survival.
Luckily for the Democrats the lure of Free Goodies will lead the lemmings off the political cliff and preserve those important and planet-affirming perquisites of the deserving classes until the super-low birthrates that these societies also engender bring the whole structure crashing down.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Electile Dystunction

Well, bye bye Rudy. Sun Tzu said that the first objective in any struggle is to defeat your enemy's strategy; having a great plan to defeat your enemy's strategy that you dont implement is not mentioned by Sun Tzu. The primaries are a test of competence, one that the Rude Boy just didnt measure up to. When the shooting started he wasnt able to assess the situation and do what he needed to do. His commercials didnt have any relevance to what was going on around him. Good product, terrible marketing. So goodbye.
Rudy's political carcass is just another of the generally unelectable party hack Republicans. The Bob Doles, the Nelson Rockefellers, the Thomas Deweys, the Gerald Fords, the John McLames. If you strip conservative beliefs from a republican, what do you have? A Chamber Of Commerce, log rolling, subsidy sucking, earmark writing, plastic-haired Enemy Of The People. Not a big vote-getter, usually. But time after time these colorless aparatchicks game the system and worm their way into the nomination, promising victory and delivering disaster. Somehow they never seem to attract the 'moderates and liberals' that they claim they can steal from the Democrats. So they lose. If we nominate McLame we will be creamed by Hillary or Obama. I'm insulted that the Republican mountain could labor and bring forth such an anemic mouse of a candidate. Maybe a Socialist disaster will engender a conservative rebirth like it did in 1980.

Et Tu Brute!

In an unending series of electoral disasters, where her lock-solid majorities have vanished like a desert mirage Miss Hilly-Belle has had to face an unimagined reality as the formerly terrorized grovelers and abettors in the Democraptic party have turned on her, one by one, destroying Bull Clinton's argument that Obamarama was only a Jesse Jackson-like Negro Phenomenon. The latest were Caroline and Fat Teddy, bestowing the 'Camelot' seal of approval on Obamarama. The last weeks have been characterized by one Dem hack or leftist media figure after another attacking Bull Clinton and the Lil Gal for turning the verbal fire hoses and sicking the political attack dogs on the peaceful, non-violent Obamarama. I've seen, just from the reaction of my wife and her friends, the core Hillary constituency, the shift from Hilly to Obamarama because of the perceived misbehavior of the Clinton Crime Family. The Kennedy endorsements really cost the Clints. Apparently, Fat Teddy phoned Bull Clinton and told him to dial down the race-baiting. When he didnt the Kennedy's tossed the Clints off the bridge.
Now we contemplate the final betrayal. Who hates the Clintons more than the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy? More than the used and abused flunkies in the media? More than the apologizers and mess cleaners in the Dem party? The guy who lost the Presidency because of his enabling of the Clint's misbehavior but who won the Nobel Peace Prize that Bull Clinton has always lusted for. Algore. His Global Warming mythology is the Holy Grail to Planned Government-Run Economy Socialist Fatheads everywhere. If he were to endorse Obamarama that would be the end of the Clints. Please Al, do something right for once....

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Nightmare Election

John McLame is sliming Mutt Romney in Florida. The Clints played the race card in South Carolina against Obamarama. McLame could possibly get enough delegates with his 35% showings in the primaries to win the nomination. The Clints might be able to bludgeon enough soap-opera watchers and party hacks into voting for her and BJ to drag her bleeding political corpse over the finish line. What will we have then? Two candidates who are totally unacceptable to huge voting blocks in their own parties will be battling it out. McLame has had to completely ignore the angry conservatives in his party and pretend that he's changed some of his views, but this, combined with his nasty, unethical behavior, his aged aspect and his snarky, dull campaign style have conservatives all over the country vowing to sit this one out. By the time this is done appearing in a black neighborhood wearing a Clinton campaign button will be an act of bravery, given the level of anger at the tactics of The First Black President.
So there they will be! Two incredibly damaged and unpopular candidates running as representatives of a Washington Inside-The-Beltway establishment universally despised by decent Americans on the Right and the Left. Clinton would have the advantage as she is the purveyor of Free Goodies! What will lib McLame's response be, Less Free Goodies!? That's a winner. I think it would turn into a mugging worse than 1996, everyone voting against a candidate so old, nasty and worthless that his mere appearance on the ballot is an insult to the voter.
Clinton III will ensue. The Power Couple will cross the threshold of the White House toting an enemies list crowded with the names of the Dems and Libs that stabbed them in the back on what was supposed to be a march to a coronation. One could paraphrase Tiberius in 'I Claudius'; "I'll open Washington's bowels as if she gorged herself on pigs for a month!", Miss Hilly will surely opine, to the grinning agreement of her demented, hate-crazed hubby. The libs better make sure they settle her hash in the primaries or they're in for some nervous times.
The biggest casualties of this will be the hapless people of this country, firmly in the hands of the elitist managerial class that has been stripped of its common sense and filled with situational ethics by their Ivy League educations, dying to get the economy by the neck in the name of Global Warming and Fairness. The yells of protest will be squashed and the dark night of Socialism will descend.

Monday, January 28, 2008

The Bridge To The Future!

OK, Barak was just taking reasonable precautions for someone who's hanging with The Chappaquiddick Kid. I never thought that Fat Teddy would ever make me smile, but the day has arrived. Karma has finally caught up with the Clintons! After all those years of enabling their bad behavior, their lies and their nastiness the Democrats are finally opting for an honorable alternative. An electable alternative if the Republicans nominate the horrible McLame. If its a choice between McLame and Obamarama I just might cast a vote for the New America, democrat style.
I was watching CSPAN last night and saw McLame side by side with ultra-lib Joe Leiberman doing a town hall meeting. McLame was the most god-awful candidate I think I have ever seen. He wandered aimlessly around the stage, sometimes answering questions with a mike in one hand while the other played pocket pool. He muttered and stumbled. He managed to drop every applause line and his jokes were pointless, tired and dreadful.
So now we've got a badly wounded Clinton Crime Family, facing increasing desertions in the Democraptic Party watching Obamarama be crowned with the aura of Camelot. We've now seen how psychotic they get under pressure. The race gambit backfired; look for tears. I also dont think that they'll be able to keep Bull Clinton under raps. His ego is too big and the question arises, who has the nerve to tell him to shut up? The Clints also think he is too much of an asset to the campaign. They believe their own PR about how well-loved they are. The nicest thing about all this is the final destruction of that myth. If HRC doesnt win the nomination does Bill just turn into a Jimmy Carter with his pants around his ankles, shooting his mouth off endlessly and spending his days cheating at golf and shooting a few holes?

Just Say No Go

The first Hillary commercial has just infected my TV screen. The Smartest Woman In The World is going to solve the energy crisis! How is she going to do this? She's going to start a new $50 Billion Federal Program to subsidize and support 'alternative energy sources'. Now we know that nuclear power ( the only sane alternative to burning hydrocarbons or building hydroelectric dams, and the solution adopted by the Euros) is off the table so what kind of new technology is the government going to subsidize? Ethanol? Well, after you get done distilling the corn mash into ethanol and then transporting the ethanol to where its mixed in with gasoline by truck (ethanol cant be transported using the existing pipeline system) you've used as much energy as you get from burning the ethanol. That cant be good for the atmosphere, or for the cost of driving. The Congress, Republican and Democrat alike, have blocked the import of cheap Brazilian ethanol, made from sugar cane, for political reasons. The ethanol market only exists because of huge subsidies paid out by the helpless taxpayers.
So where's she getting the 50 billion? She's going to end the 'special tax breaks' that Big Oil are getting under the Bushy Tax Code. Hmmm. Arent those 'special tax breaks' accounting rules that incentivize exploration for oil? And if you remove the tax breaks and the big, greedy oil companies dont want to pay more taxes wont they just stop drilling for oil? If they do that then the projected $50 bil wont be there. But lets assume that some domestic drilling does take place and that its costs are raised by this tax. What do corporations do to recoup when their costs go up? They raise their prices. So Hillary's plan will cut domestic supply and raise prices.
The Democrat's intended precipitate withdrawal from the Middle East ("No Blood For Oil") and the subsequent takeover of that strategic region by enemies pledged to our destruction will do the rest.
Buy a bicycle before there's a stampede.

Friday, January 25, 2008

It Wuz You, Georgy!

BUSHY: Look, kid, I - how much you weigh, son? When you had majorities in both houses you were beautiful. You coulda been another Ronnie Reagan, and that skunk we got you for a manager, he brought you along too fast.
THEPARTY: It wasn't him, Bushy, it was you. Remember that night in the Senate you came down to my dressing room and you said, "Kid, this ain't your night. We're going for the Gang Of Fourteen ." You remember that? "This ain't your night"! My night! I coulda used the nuclear option! So what happens? McLame gets the title shot from a bunch of independants and liberals and what do I get? A one-way ticket to Palooka-ville! You was my President, Bushy, you shoulda looked out for me a little bit. You shoulda taken care of me just a little bit so I wouldn't have to take them dives for the short-end money.
BUSHY: Oh I had some judges nominated for you. You saw some Justices.
THEPARTY: You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Bushy.

Peggy Noonan wrote a column today blaming Bush for the parlous state that the Republican Party is in these days. Its true. Its also true that BJ left the Democraptic Party in ruins. Clinton ruins the Democrats by being a hard-brawling partisan street fighter and Bush ruins the Republicans by being a bi-partisan, almost non-partisan, administrator. And now Mr & Mrs BJ's tagteam vulgarity is tearing the Dems apart again.
But I digress. The Bush Years will come to be seen as the term of a President who ruled by beurocracy. There was no political leadership from Bush AT ALL. Even when they tried to implement a political vision, securing the growing Hispanic Vote and denying the Dems another lock-solid minority voter block, they turned to the Democrats and basically let the most radical immigration advocacy groups in the country write the bill. He didnt give Latinos credit for being smart enough to understand that conservative ideas might be to their benefit so he did what all liberal elitists do, he tried to purchase their loyalty with that terrible bill.
Pathetic. As though the Republicans can outbid the Democrats when it comes to handing out goody-bags, or compete with them for getting credit for the goody-bags; meanwhile he turned around and called his outraged base a bunch of racists for not happily going along with it.
There are a dozen instances like this. Bush has turned out to be as timid and half-hearted as his old man, and one who has also thrown away a lot of good will in the name of comity. He leaves behind a party at odds with itself. His loss.

Evil Lord REZKO!

Casting one's mind back to the last debate (a true Demo Derby!), I seem to remember Her Thighness, using that snarky, know-it-all-tattletale schoolgirl I'm-better-than-you-are voice that makes you want to assault your TV set, accused Obamarama of taking campaign contributions from an Evil Slumlord REZKO! I mean, does that sound like the leader of the Shadow Yagyu Clan in the 'Lone Wolf And Cub' samurai movies or what?

'I was fighting against those ideas when you were practicing law and representing your contributor, Rezko, in his slum landlord business in inner city Chicago.'

Dishonorable Obamarama must commit hara-kiri for disgraceful past actions revealed by honorable fishwife candidate! Honorable Red-Faced Blowhard Husband will challenge you to a duel.
Just as we learned that the maker of the poisonous toys she denounced in a past debate turned out to be a major client of the Clints campaign manager's PR firm, now we have the above photo. The Clints are a gift that keeps on giving! Of COURSE, they dont remember meeting him, he was just another contributor in a long line of shady characters, foreign governments, criminal organizations, and con-men that line up to throw cash on the Clintonian money pile, so even The Smartest Woman In The Universe might forget one or two of them if they havent contributed LATELY.
During the Demo Derby some have called the Clinton's vile race-baiting tactics vile race baiting tactics! Nothing could be farther from the truth, so to speak. It depends on what the meaning of race-baiting is, is. Some have said that the Clints have never done anything for African Americans other than pander to them. But I am here to say that the Clints, by their actions in this campaign, have given the black people of the United States a wonderful gift. In recent decades there have been books such as 'The Bell-Shaped Curve' which tried to assert that black people were less intelligent than white people. But look at what is happening. To vote for these slimy, horrible Clintons you have to be a truly stupid, brain-dead, drooling idiot. The comatose soccer broads, the yammering menopausal matriarchs, the fat-faced left wing Union functionaries, the old-maid middle-aged and young single professionals, the senile old-guard professional Democrats, the environmentalist whackos, the foaming-mouthed Bush-haters, the whole panoply of mental defectives that constitute the solid base of Clinton voters prove, without a shadow of a doubt, that black people, AKA Obamarama voters, are demonstrably smarter than the above-mentioned white people. A whole lot smarter. Either that or they have a more keenly developed sense of smell.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Last County Heard From

When someone poses the question,"Who was the worst American President of the 20th Century?" several names come up immediately.

Herbert Hoover's Smoot-Hawley trade war, stupid monetary policies and inept handling on the 1929 blowout in the market certainly would earn him a prominent place on the list. The traditional leftist historians would have ended the search here. But the feild, as we shall see, is filled with inept micromanagers like Hoover. Herbie had been in Calvin Coolidge's cabinet for the six years of Cal's presidency; Cal sarcastically called him 'Wonder Boy' and was quoted as saying, "That man has been suggesting ideas to me for six years, all of them bad."

Woodrow Wilson. Beloved of sniveling peace advocates everywhere. HL Mencken said his facial expression made him look like he was weaned on a pickle. He arrived into Europe like an Imperial Master, ready to dictate terms to the greedy degenerates who had just destroyed an entire generation of young men in a pointless war and promptly gave away the store, approving the Versailles Treaty (which virtually guaranteed WW2) in exchange for international cooperation in setting up the League Of Nations. Upon return to the US his high-handed arrogance alienated key Senators and ratification failed in the Senate. As he campaigned desperately across the country to gain public support he suffered a debilitating stroke, leaving him unable to concentrate or talk coherently for more than a few minutes at a time. The country was run by his wife Edith and his aide Colonel House for the last eighteen months of his term.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt. What do you do when the economy goes south? You cut taxes, remove regulations, lower trade barriers and reduce government spending. What did Frankie do? Increased taxes in a steeply progressive way, enacted the most onerous regulations against business in American history before or since, kept and even raised trade barriers and implemented a vast expansion of government regulatory agencies and make-work programs.
The result, unemployment was the same 25% in 1938 that it was in 1933 when this genius and his 'brain trust' took power.
But Franklin was a foriegn policy disaster as well. His ugly and obnoxious Stalinist wife led a 'progressive' faction of radicals, some of whom were shown after the end of the Cold War to have been Stalinist agents. He recognized the Soviet Union at a time when they were engaged in a collectivization drive that caused the deaths and deportation of tens of millions of Russians and sent an ambassador (Joseph Davies) and some political cronies (the Hammers) who profited personally from this slaughter. He sent an ambassador to wartime Britain who was a notorious Anglophobe and a suspected Nazi sympathizer (Joseph Kennedy). He avoided making any commitments to Churchill until after Pearl Harbor and grudgingly sold supplies to England under the Lend-Lease program. Once we were in the war the supplies we had sold to England were dwarfed by the ocean of supplies we gave to Stalin. Roosevelt always considered British Imperialism more of a threat to humanity than Stalin's progressive state. As the war progressed Roosevelt, advised by Alger hiss, a Soviet agent, handed the helpless small nations of Eastern Europe over to Stalin, a slavery that was to last fifty years.
Ailing but still determined to run for a fourth term Roosevelt was stopped by the party bosses from running with Henry Wallace as his Vice Presidential nominee. Wallace was a member of the Eleanor faction and a Stalinist toady. The world was saved by a few Dem party bosses who forced Truman on the dying President.

Jimmy Carter 'Jimmy The Jerk'. The Cold War was reaching critical mass. The US self-inflicted defeat in Viet Nam had destroyed our credibility worldwide. The old system of alliances created by Eisenhower and reinforced by Nixon were crumbling. The Soviet Union was at the peek of its military strength and was expanding aggressively. Tens of millions were dying. Africa was a sea of fire with famine and bitter warfare sweeping the continent. Marxist dictators were depopulating whole regions. The South China Sea was filled with boats fleeing the Socialist paradise of Viet Nam and the killing fields in Cambodia were in full blast. The Cubans and Soviets were using poison gas against helpless civilians in Laos, Afghanistan and Ethiopia. Western Europe teetered on the brink of electing communist governments. Soviet naval bases at Cam Ranh Bay in Viet Nam, Socatra and Aden in South Yemen,Maputo in Mozambique, Luanda in Angola and Conakry in Guinea, lay astride the oil tanker routes from the oil states of the Gulf to the US and Europe. Carter's response? He called on us to overcome "our inordinate fear of communism"! He actively connived in the overthrow of longtime allies like the Shah Of Iran and local dictators in Nicaragua, El Salvador and Guatemala. Other US allies took note. He cut the US military so that when he sent them on a desperate mission to save his worthless political hide, er, I mean rescue the hostages seized by his Islamofacsist buddies in Iran it turned into a total disaster.
Meanwhile, back at home his high-tax, anti-business left wing policies put the economy in the tank with high unemployment and raging inflation. He even made a speech accusing us of 'malaise', as though the present chaos was our fault and not his.
After he was booted out of office in a landslide this loser has trolled the world subverting the foreign policy of all subsequent presidents of both parties and sucking up to vicious left wing dictators wherever they can be found. This national disgrace certainly has a good claim to worstness.

WE HAVE A WINNER! Carter was hard to top but of course the lovable Bill Jefferson Clinton (BJ) is the man to do it! A stranger to the truth, a preening blowhard, a corrupt, greedy lawbreaker, an abuser of women, a complete disgrace to the office of the Presidency. He turned a blind eye to the rise of Islamic Terrorism as they attacked again and again, refusing several times to take custody of Osama Bin Laden. His only timid reactions to terrorism were on the day after he committed perjury on national TV and the day he was impeached for that perjury. Yes, we all got to see a sitting President raise his hand and swear to tell the truth in front of a Federal Judge and then lie like a rug. His receipt of unexplained millions in illegal 'contributions' from the Chicoms and the concomitant transfer of missile-aiming technology to our Red Chinese friends is only one of the appalling crimes that his aggressive, bullying , evasive political tactics have managed to sweep under the rug. His governance was characterized by administrative chaos and corruption; it was only after the Republican congressional landslide in 1994 (a total repudiation of Clinton and the Democratic congress) that any sanity came into the budgeting and tax processes. The credit for these policies, opposed vehemently by the Clints, was promptly claimed by them as soon as they were seen to have succeeded. And that is the key to BJ's title as the worst, his blantant and compulsive dishonesty. Now we're moving toward Clinton III, the Hilly years and this embarassing disgrace and The Little Woman are barnstorming the country, lying, trashing Obamarama and alienating blacks in the Democratic Party. They have shown that no hypocrisy is too blatant, no smear is too revolting for these political hyenas with their insatiable appetite for power and attention. BJ is the worst President of all time because if Clinton III happens, bringing this lawless and angry couple and their raft of left wing barmicides into power, the survival of our nation as a free country is in more jeopardy than it has ever been.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Nostalgia For Saturninus

One of the most played-out metaphors in political discourse are comparisons with events in Roman history. Usually these metaphors only fit in the most vague ways and flit from the late Republic to the declining third, fourth and fifth centuries.
My metaphor tonight involves the demagoguery of the late Republic. Whenever someone wanted to stir up the mob he would promise a cancellation of debt. Last night, I watched in horror as Hillary proposed a 90-day moratorium on foreclosures, allowing speculators who are renting out the houses they would have flipped if the market had continued its rise to collect three more months rent without making any mortgage payments. She then talked about how the Feds are going to have to get their hands on the throats of the Evil Lenders. She continued, mentioning the most pernicious idea of them all, and the one that brought the Late Republic to mind. She suggested a five-year freeze on interest rates. Anyone who suggests an idea like that should be instantly disqualified from any high office. A five-year freeze on interest rates would cause the greatest capital flight in history. The credit and banking systems would collapse. Would you buy a bank or insurance company stock under those conditions? Business would not grind to a halt, it would stop instantly. The bonds that fund the pension funds of the fat, happy, Socialist chipmunks that tend to vote for the Clinton Crime Family would become worthless. The panic that would ensue would rattle every Keynsian/Marxist bone in the body politic and, as the current crisis has shown, politicians think the solution to people not having any money is easily solved by giving them some. And some more. This piddling $145 billion that the misguided Bushies think will have some great effect could easily have its decimal point moved a place to the right in a Demagogic... er, I mean Democratic administration. This happened recently in the wreck of the Soviet Union. Socialism always leads to collapse. The utopian determinists dont recognize economic laws. The end of the Roman Republic happened when everyone became so sick of chaos that they followed the first strong man that came along.
Those are the stakes in this year's election. Now, I know that Mrs. Clinton is almost certainly lying about this proposal, she gets too much money from financial corporations to go the whole hog, but she will set a horde of glassy-eyed radicals on the bankers. Just the fact that she could seriously propose something like an interest rate freeze is frightening beyond belief.
It has also been the deep-down desire of the wealth redistributors to strip the assets of the upper middle class, which purpose would be served nicely by the hyper inflation that will result from Aunt Hilly's economic recipes. Remember a large part of this crisis was caused by the Feds leaning on the banks to lower qualifications for mortgage borrowers so that 'red-lined minorities' could share in the real estate party. Look at the result. The left-wing geniuses screw up everything they touch and when they roar back to power after eight hungry years eking out a miserable existence in the Bush they are going to be touching a whole lot of things.

Monday, January 21, 2008

The Goddess Of Plenty

I'm watching the Demo Debate on CNN. I fills me with shame and horror that there are people that would vote for Hillary Clinton. She is strident, mean , nasty and dishonest. But besides that all three of them are absolutely appalling on the issues. High more steeply progressive taxes, industries either nationalized or regulated into a quasi-nationalized state, a rapid retreat in the Middle East, handing that source of oil over to predators with no love for us ; a complete disaster in the making. The Carter years will seem mild by comparison. This horrible disaster cant happen. In the background are the trembling financial markets. The entire picture might be radically different in two or three days. The inept Keynesianism that is presented as a paliative has been rejected by the world financial markets. After listening to Hillary Clinton tell how she is going to subsidize and regulate the mortgage crisis away my head was spinning. How can educated people not know the unbroken record of failure that these actions have? In everything that these guys have discussed they just assume that they can reach into a limitless pool of money generated by the punitive tax increases that they propose. I've lost respect for Barak Obama; he just sat there while Hillary attacked him for taking money from lobbyists! How about that. And he just sat there without bringing up the unending campaign-funding scandals that follow the Clintons around like the flies that follow anything so ripe and dessicated.
I cant watch anymore. Time for Jeopardy.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

The Straight Talk Express

Who are they? How did they get so confused? I've asked it before and I'll ask it again. What would drive someone who rejects the outright Socialism of the Democrats to have any interest in a guy who served as a Democratic butt-boy in the Senate? His egomaniacal maverickistic maunderings played into liberal hands again and again and served to make the Republican majority in the Congress ineffective and meaningless. Its the same rule that says, if you vote for a lying, bribe-taking, law-breaking crook like Hillary Clinton then you should stop complaining about dishonest government; if you vote for a proto-liberal, volcanic-tempered, snarky, chicken-wattle-necked, life-long Washington insider who believes that the government needs to control the economy so they can fix the weather then you should stop complaining when that same government steals all your money and mandates what kind of light bulb you can use or what kind of oil the potato chips you buy at 7/11 are cooked in. The creeping liberal disease has come close to paralyzing the brain of what was formerly a free country; soon we will be mired in a declining Euro-Trash Welfare State cocoon that will only be ripped apart when the Visigoths appear outside the walls.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Nuke The Towelheads!

I was listening to Hugh Hewitt interview John Podhoretz on his radio show the other day. Podhoretz made the point that the Islamonazi regime in Iran was continuing their nuclear program, despite the disinformation to the contrary (that was welcomed with such Hosannahs by the Useful Idiots on the left), and that if we dont move soon to stop it we will be confronted by the spectre of nuclear conflict in the Middle East with tens of millions of deaths and total chaos in a strategically vital area. The towelheads nuking each other, so to speak.
So now its down to brass tacks. Podhoretz solution was to attack the nuclear facilities. Thats not enough. A limited attack that leaves the Islamonazi regime still standing invites a long, bloody confrontation, one in which the Straits Of Hormuz are effectively closed to tanker traffic; the jugular vein of the world economy could be slashed by a few suicide bombers in cheap speedboats. Any attack should be aimed at taking out the regime AND destroying their nuclear capability by not only targeting the facilities themselves but also the homes , families and persons of the scientists and workers in those facilities. The attack should include strikes to destroy the Revolutionary Guard bases and kill as many of them as possible; it should be aimed at the communications and secret police capabilities so that the regime is unable to coordinate any response to civil unrest;any air defense capability should be destroyed along with any missle bases: the refinery and oil pumping capabilities of Iran should be paralyzed creating an instant shortage of gasoline; any Iranian naval facilities in or around the Straits should be pulverized. This should be done in a lightning strike that is not telegraphed by any warnings or appeals for permission from international organizations. The cowardly and hapless Bush Administration is probably not capable of such a resolute action. Too bad. A strike like this, where no more than a couple of hundred bombs would be necessary, would leave a crippled and much-weakened regime unable to respond to any domestic unrest and would lead to it being toppled, while our capability to respond to any counterattack would remain virtually limitless and unpredictable by the enemy. The only civilians targeted would be those working to endanger tens of millions of their fellow humans and members of a murderous and psychotic government. If this were accomplished quickly it would not only remove one of our most dangerous opponents it would also underline the perception that we are able to determine and act resolutely in our national interests. Of course there is a large element of risk involved in this. The longer that the Islamonazi regime can survive the more likely Russia and China will be to take actions to support it. The likelihood that the Straits Of Hormuz will be closed for a short time is high, creating an energy panic and severe economic repercussions, especially among our craven, cowardly 'allies' in Europe who can be counted on to yell loudly and wring their hands about unilateral actions. The ultimate effect, however, would cancel out any short-term costs. Lawless governments would realize that aggressive confrontation with the US could result in actions that would cause their overthrow at the hands of their own people, the worst nightmare of every illegitimate regime where a small clique rules by violence. Energy prices would fall drastically.The costs of supporting terrorism would be shown to be unacceptably high.
I dont think this will happen. The risk-averse beurocrats of the West will allow Iran to acquire nukes and probably stand by while they use them to start a nuclear war against Israel, provoking a retaliation that will cause tens of millions of deaths in the Muslim world and release a cloud of nuclear fallout that will blanket the world.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Bleeding Fingers

What a wonderful election season this has been! Who would have thought that the Clintons would be so humiliated? After the nervous breakdown on the Tuesday in NH they've had one long, humiliating struggle. They thought Clinton III was in the bag, they would march to the coronation at the convention, fundraising all the way, and emerge, flush with cash, with a united party and media behind them to do battle with the bruised and broke survivor of the Republican gladiator match. It didnt work out and there was no Plan B. Now its day after grueling day in this endless campaign. If they lose both races tomorrow they will be in a tough spot. Good.

The Chthonian Conservative

We've all come to love Fred Thompson. He is great in the debates, especially when he's smacking Huckster-Bee and McLame around. He is the most consistently conservative of all the candidates, the only problem is the worry that he will be a moribund, Rutheford B Hayes placeholder, immobile in the face of a Democratic earmark party in the congress. Well, somebody woke him up in South Carolina. He's got the talk radio wind at his back and word is he's making a splash. Oh please make it true! If he takes out McLame or Huckster-Bee that would be awesome. He can do it, too. You cant get that kind of air time from guys like Rush and The Great One (Mark Levin) without it turning a few heads. Enough heads? We'll see. This will be an interesting test of the relative power of talk radio as opposed to the mainstream press, which unanimously backs McLame and throws a few bones to Huckster-Bee; anything to avoid an actual conservative candidate taking on The Smartest Woman In The Universe or Non-Threatening Minority Guy. Can you imagine a debate between Fred and Her Thighness? They're already stockpiling onion oil back at Clinton Crime Family Headquarters in case the soccer broads need another attack of spurious lubriciousness to get them choked up.
So the candidate described in this blog as 'comatose' and 'Frog-like' (chthonian) has a shot at the Big Enchilada after all. Hop to it, Frog Man.

Compassionate Stimulationism

I dont have an agenda
I'll send checks to some
For I have become
A Stimulus Bum
If you like high taxes
And like getting screwed
You'll demand lots
Of Stimulus, too!

Sing along to the tune of 'New Amphetamine Shriek'
by 'The Fugs'

Let me take this opportunity to apologize to the Ron Paulians. I havent been kind. I still dont like your guy much but as the only non-Keynesian on the political scene I guess I have to give a nod of admiration to the only guy not spouting Keynesian malarkey at the top of his lungs. In a thirteen trillion dollar economy shelling out a $145 billion giveaway to all and sundry is just a phat rebate for being an American. Hey this is the Land of the Free and what says Free better than Free cash from de gub-mint?
Now, I dropped out of college without getting a degree. I'm not very smart so I need somebody to explain to me how mailing checks out to everybody is adding anything to the economy. The $145 bil had to come from somewhere, didnt it? If it was taxes then wasnt the recession made a 145 billion times worse by taking it out of the economy in the first place? If they're printing it up all fresh and clean how can they be sure that us dummies are going to spend it in stimulatory ways? Shouldnt they send us coupons that you can only cash in a gambling casino after you've had two free drinks to make sure we dont go putting it in the bank or paying our credit card bills? Gosh, these guys are so smart, I guess dummies like me should just trust in their wisdom, get the checks and party and let them worry about it. I guess people smart enough to fix the weather can fix something like the economy before breakfast.
Hey, if the economy is a disaster, and Hurricane Katrina was a disaster and the Feds helped out after Katrina by giving people debit cards that you could use to get lap dances at strip clubs then why dont they do that? I could use a lap dance right about now, a naked girl in a g-string wiggling up and down on my lap might just take my mind off the fact that the people running my country are total idiots and I'm going to die in poverty (if my wife doesnt kill me first for going to a strip club).

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Oh Bushy, Why?

You know, a couple of weeks back, when Dubya had Pelosi and Reid humiliated and groveling at his feet, troops funded, a few earmarks curtailed, I actually found myself liking the guy again. Someone at the White House must have noticed that their poll numbers were rising amongst conservatives. Alarm bells must have rung. If the conservatives are starting to like us a little we must be doing something wrong! Legacy, legacy, legacy! What to do to convince conservatives to drop their ill-found admiration and return to the snarling sense of betrayal of the last couple of years?
Mid East Peace. What could be more disturbing to any conservative than sucking up to bloodthirsty islamic terrorists? So there Bushy was, with the oddly-shaped head of the cretinous Ehud Olmert in tow, proposing that international welfare recipient Mahmood Abbas would have his bantustan on the West Bank enlarged at the expense of Israel in return for an end to terrorism. As though anybody in any terrorist group would listen to Abbas any longer than it would take to cash his subsidy check and get back to work making homemade rockets and attacking the group down the street. The Palestinians have only one non-negotiable political aim- Israel Gone, Jews Dead. Bushy looked like a fool who was desperately chasing a legacy point.
Crawling To The Wahabis. OK, you didnt drill in ANWR, you havent built any nuclear power plants, you've helped prevent ethanol imports and have backed domestic ethanol subsidies, you havent been in favor of any domestic oil exploration and you have spouted Global warming nonsense. That's your energy legacy. So crawling to the repulsive oil sheiks, who depend on us for their survival (surrounded as they are by hungry predators only dettered by our military presence), is very distasteful. If he had fought for ANWR in 2003 the oil would be coming on line NOW, lowering world prices.
Now he's back in the country and what is he doing? STIMULUS PACKAGE! Oh Boy! This is the best. He's going to work with the hysterical losers in Congress to stimulate the economy. They're going to send everybody in the country a big chunk of CASH! Except, of course, the wealthy (AKA taxpayers who actually pay taxes). Redistributionism at its worse. Inflationism at its worse. People that get the Earned Income Tax Credit and Food Stamps are getting a raise! Anything the Dems support has to be wrong. Isnt there enough bad paper floating around already?
Intervening in the credit markets. So people who were using teaser loans to buy houses that they rented out and then flipped as prices rose are getting a bailout because the market went south on them? Poor people that used teaser-rate loans to buy houses that they could never pay the full rate on in the first place are getting evicted when the real rate kicks in. This calls for government price-controls and intervention in the mortgage markets, according to our Compassionate Conservative.
So again it turns out that the people most opposed to Bush are conservatives, like the one pictured above. How did this happen? Where did we go wrong?

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Barroom Brawl

Well, Mutt Romney is now the frontrunner. South Carolina will finish either Huckster-Bee or McLame, possibly both. These first inconclusive contests, tailor-made for each of the candidates who won them, have only served to audition the crowded field and eliminate, one by one, the unacceptable candidates. Hopefully, Thompson will win in SC. That is somewhat unlikely but with talk radio attacking the Huckster and McLame Thompson becomes the Southern Conservative closest to the base of the SC party, I would suspect. Huckster-Bee's refried Carter routine going bad will put a lot of the most conservative voters into play. The kind of voters that might look askance at Mutt's Slick Yankee Businessman persona and be charmed by Fred's down-home style. This campaign has been so chock-full of surprises that a Thompson upset would be just be continuing a series of amazing twists and turns on both sides. Could these be the first open conventions of our lifetime?

Ahilla The Honey

I caught one of the Democratic debates last night, you know, the one where John Edwards wouldnt shut up. As though we tuned in to see his sculpted hair and his unconvincing smile!
He was talking like he was in a hostage video and as soon as he stopped he was going to get shot. Not very edifying. But who cares? he's toast. He never was anything anyway. The Harold Stassen of Socialism. He won the Iowa Primary eight years ago and since then nothing, nada, zilch.
He was hogging camera time from the good stuff. That Nice Minority Fellow and The Smartest Woman In The Universe. Now, before this debate both of these candidate's advisors stressed very emphatically that no matter how vicious its getting, the cause will not be served by outbursts. Be Nice. So there Obama and HRC were, trying to Be Nice. It was like a Bunuel movie. They HATE each other, they are madangryinsultedhumiliatedenragedlividunhinged at each other but their coaches have told them to Be Nice. So there they were. It was the political equivalent of the Jerry Springer Show (maybe Jerry could do the next debate). I was just waiting for the smile on one of them to snap as they moved from pointed irony to fisticuffs.
And its not about issues, baby! These two libs dont disagree on anything. The election of either ensures the downfall of Capitalism and the descent of the Socialist Night. No, what these two disagree on is who is a better person. Period.
So, lets stay tuned to what Rush Limbaugh calls 'The Clinton Soap Opera'. The Clintons might be corrupt, depraved threats to our nation's continued existence but they have always been four-star entertainment.

Monday, January 14, 2008

A Tasteful Discussion

Ah, the Clintons! They never lose their capacity to surprise. Their latest assault on The Obama Enemy has set the nation agog...aghast, actually. Well they were provoked. Bill Clinton was furious. It seems that The Obama Enemy implied that BJ was less than totally honest! How does this paragon of honesty respond to that sort of a canard? (Unless The Obama Enemy didnt actually imply anything of the sort and this is just part of BJ's ongoing LSD flashback which has caused so much mirth for the past couple of weeks.) If Diogenes were alive today he'd roll over in his grave.
This and other similar provocations have driven the Clintons into the most hideous piece of folly that they have committed in this gaffe-riddled monstrosity of a campaign. Sneering insinuations about The Obama Enemy's checkered youth done in a way that would leave the impression that they intend to make a case that he was into snorting or (gasp!) dealing coke. If it was everybody putting in so they could get a deal on some blow, that is not dealing. See, the Hillary mythos has told so many stories about the prodigious act of politically correct saintliness that was the wonderful youth of The Smartest Woman In The Universe that once we're in touch with The Obama Enemy's earthly youth we will see the folly of our 'fairytale' enthusiasms. Now if The Obama Enemy had been the governor of a small, backwater southern state and had a girlfriend who said that he used to snort coke with her when he was governor and that his brother was the supplier then I would say that he had a problem. I want the job doing opposition research for the Obama campaign. Talk about shooting ducks in a barrel. Obama could have rolled with the Crips and be cleaner than the Clintons.
Now they've gotten into some weird civil rights punch-up with The Obama Enemy. How can these aging hippies believe they can lead a coalition to victory in November after they've defeated a black candidate using a thinly veiled racial attack? They really think they can go negative. Its beyond appalling. It might have worked in the past but they cant do to The Obama Enemy what they did to Ken Starr or Newt Gingrich.
I cant believe they will win. Its impossible that people wont notice how ugly they are. It also answers the question as to whether Obama is qualified; if he's good enough to whip the Clintons he's doing something that much more 'experienced' men failed to do. He will be a formidable opponent. HRC will not.

Poor Edwards- Quo Vadis?

Politics is so sad. Yes, OK, these A-Type egotists are just asking to be humiliated and its usually a whole lot of fun watching your favorite obnoxious leftists eat humble pie as they are ground under the tracks of the Clinton Panzer Assault. Who is more deserving of total humiliation than John Edwards, with his refried War On Poverty rhetoric? Laura Ingram's 'Silky Pony' and Rush Limbaugh's 'Breck Girl' with his overstyled hair and precious body language has been an irritation as he tried to exploit his wife' cancer for his own self-aggrandizement (which cast the quickly hushed-up female staffer with a big belly in a very unflattering light). He's slicker than owl shit.
But where do sexually ambiguous, overstyled, camera-loving, mincing egotists go when their presidential campaigns collapse? The House And Garden Network! HGTV!
OK, here's the concept. It borrows from those HGTV shows where potential house buyers are walked through various houses and coo over the layout and the hardwood floors, or the shows where the fixup specialists help the clueless homeowners ready their homes for sale.
In this show the tenant leads John and the camera crew through their rented slum pad, pointing out the health hazards and code violations, rats scurrying and cockroaches scuttling up the cracked wallboard.
Now here's the genius part. Instead of calling in the smiling fix-up crew and setting the place to rights they SUE THE OWNER! Then they take the settlement money (or whats left after the generous fee for Silky Pony's valuable help) and go out and purchase a phat crib in the burbs, next to some hapless retired couple. Each episode ends with the speakers bumpin' and the party ragin' , pulling in the MTV demographic.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

DONT Give Peace A Chance!

A sign of decline in our society is the obsession with peace for its own sake. A misguided characterization of the vicious murderers who have consistently been thrust to the leadership of the Palestinian people as potential 'Peace Partners' underlies decades of misguided 'peacemaking' by American presidents eager to show the world that the sheer force of their goodness and brilliance will bring the Israelis and Palestinians together and 'work out their differences'.
Now Israel is cursed with a 'leader' who is so misguided, corrupt, weak-minded, egotistical and foolish that he seems to be playing along with this errant nonsense. Ehud Olmert would be considered a weak Prime Minister of Denmark; he is as squishy as any of the spineless, crawling nematodes that fester in the rotting ruins of the European Community. Unfortunately spineless, crawling European nematodes are the ones that hand out Nobel Peace Prizes-- you know, like the one Ronald Reagan didnt get for winning the Cold War and freeing hundreds of millions of people by lifting the curse of communism from a benighted world. Alas, RWR was addicted to that neanderthal concept of 'winning' and so was disqualified.
But Bushy must be eating magic mushrooms if he thinks the EuroTrash elite think any better of him than they did of Reagan. He should consider the havoc wrought by the last legacy-chaser's misguided attempt at peace; a five-year-long wave of suicide bombers blowing themselves up in shopping malls, pizza parlors and weddings, killing hundreds. The mentally disturbed bombers were turned into heroes to inspire the raging and bloodthirsty youth of the Palestinian Territories. The slaughter was only stopped by Ariel Sharon's barrier wall, which was universally denounced by the international elites, including President Bush.
Another horribly misconceived effort was the Condi Rice-sponsored 'free elections' in Gaza. This led to several years of continuous fighting between rival terrorist groups and a wave of executions and terrorist acts directed at Palestinians by Palestinians. Gaza and the West Bank have become bantustans checkerboarded with armed militias giving vague allegiance to the bigger political parties so they can receive a small cut of the aid that the witless Westerners provide to the people that scream for the downfall of the West every day. This is actually a status quo that everybody can live with. The Palestinians taking out their homicidal impulses on each other in their increasingly forgotten backwaters is OK with just about everybody.
The idea that this totally disfunctional society, whose daily prayer is for the destruction of Israel and the death of all the Jews that live there, is in any way willing or able to sign even the most meaningless agreement is ludicrous. There is not a solution at the moment. There might not be for a long time.
So why is Bush doing this? Is he thinking about the coalition that seems to be forming in the Arab world out of fear of Iran? The emerging victory in Iraq is having an effect and underlines the fact that the US is the only credible protector of the Arab oil wealth from a growing list of hungry predators, most especially the hated Shi'ite regime in Iran. One has to tremble in fear for the Arabs and the Israelis if the American presidency is won by the Democrats, whose strategic vision verges on nitrous oxide lunacy.
So Bush will make a little noise, maybe lean publicly on Olmert for some meaningless statement to satisfy the Saudis and the Gulf oil sheiks and then head for Riyadh, or wherever he goes next, but he seems to actually believe the nonsense he speaks...the curse of credibility.

PAY UP! Jerkinator

"Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger today will propose a spending plan that cuts virtually every function of state government to close a $14.5 billion budget gap.

The plan asks lawmakers to close state parks and beaches, release prisoners, dramatically pare school funding, reduce Medi-Cal health services to the poor and reduce aid to the low-income blind, elderly and disabled."

Sacramento Bee

Hey, I dont give a crap about all those people because I'm a selfish crotchety conservative. Stop sniveling you LOSERS! But even in the most rigid philosophy there has to be a little bend, I mean, nobody's 100% of anything, are they?
OK, with that said, I think I'll be a bit more bi-partisan than usual. I am now going to talk like a Democrat. I applied for Unemployment six weeks ago and have yet to see a check. I've contacted my useless State Representative and got no results. The UI phones, normally jammed, now just give you a recording saying that the recent broken levies screwed them up so they are not answering their phones and that calling and faxing will just make everything more screwed up so dont do it!
Now all those other recipients, the blind, the elderly, etc. are just parasites with their wrinkly old hands out, just taking, never giving. I'm talking about people in America's strategically important film industry, laid low by a Writers Strike that we didnt ask for. Do you want Mexican TV shows streaming across our unguarded southern border (well OK, MORE Mexican TV shows) and dubbed into English so that our own American editors, PA's, directors, sound technicians and grips will end up standing outside of Homo Depot hoping for day labor?
I was a Republican up to now but I bet getting free money, I mean, my Human Rights,will be easier in an Obama Administration or during the Golden Years of Clinton III. I'm sick of the greedy capitalists living it up, watching the shows people like me worked and slaved over, sometimes for as little as fifty dollars an hour, and not caring about the starving helots that amuse them so.
So lets fix this before the budget video shelves at Wal-mart are filled with Korean Soap Operas and cartoons from the Czech Republic and America's strategically vital leadership in the cartoon industry is just dumped in the trash.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Holy Crap II- Aftermath

All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life--
They'd none of them be missed, they'd none of them be missed.
And apologetic Statesmen of a compromising kind,
such as-- What d'ye call him--Thing'em Bob, and
likewise-- never mind.
And 'St--'St--'St and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who--
The task of filling in the blanks I'd rather leave to you.
But it really doesnt matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of them be missed-- they'd none of them be missed.

'The Mikado' (Gilbert & Sullivan)

So Gollum got the Ring back. The Clintons were dancing and grinning last night, my Precious! You almost would've believed it was genuine. It probably was. They had been reduced, earlier in the day to the most amazingly, cringingly, embarrassing behavior ("We cant be a new story, I'm sorry. I cant make her younger, taller, male." sez BJ). Hillary sobbed that the cruel voters werent going to let her achieve her dream of helping every American solve all their problems. I almost cried myself. Maybe I'll change my registration to Democrat before the California Primary so I can help her help America. Maybe not. But it worked. People are such saps.
Anyway, to return to the Gollum metaphor, she has the Ring back. And what did Gollum plan to do once he got it back. Revenge. The Clints arent good at governing, they're not eloquent and they dont have any genuineness or likeability but there is one thing you cant fault them on. Revenge. The Borgias were slouches compared to this power couple, with BJ as Alexander IV and Hillary...well, you know.
It wasnt Rush Limbaugh or the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy this time, either. It was the liberals that made them crawl and abase themselves so abjectly. The press, the pundits, the pollsters, the wavering union bosses, the senators heading for the hills, the suddenly reluctant donors. The gleeful cheering at the Clinton Meltdown was widespread among the Glitterati. A whole list of the Glitterati to sit nervously at Her Thighness' first White House Press Dinner as the plates of food are served and think about the History Of Renaissance Italy they took in college. If they had any guts it would make them more determined to destroy her, but liberals dont have any guts. They dont understand that an implacable enemy either has to be defeated or they will destroy you. Future good behavior will not matter. They hope that being nice from now on will make the Clints forget this little contretemps and be friends. Dont count on it, baby.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

The Comeback Kid

So enough mental defectives voted for John McLame to keep him viable. What a drag. This shows the lack of imagination or guts by any of the other candidates. A sample anti-McLame ad would go like this:

His McLame-Kennedy Amnesty Bill caused a wave of rage in the country. The switchboards were jammed with your calls and the Senate retreated.
His McLame-Feingold 'campaign reform' silenced Pro-Life groups, empowered George Soros and MoveOn.Org and damaged the Republican Party while it violated the First Amendment.
He was one of the two Republican Senators who voted with Harry Reid against the Bush Tax Cuts.
His Gang Of Fourteen betrayal kept conservative judges off the bench.
He supports ACLU lawyers for terrorists.
He is not a conservative.
Dont vote for a liberal maverick, vote for a conservative Republican.

This isnt rocket science. Mutt Romney just couldnt pull it off, probably because he's not really a conservative either. Why didnt Fred do it? It makes me doubt them all. The next Ronald Reagan is just the guy that says conservative things without having to consult his position papers. These guys are too careful and too overproduced. Drop the strategy and be real and you will win.

Oscar Crisis

Watching all the NH Primary blather cant drive the important things from my mind, as it shouldnt. The Writer's Strike has already canceled the Golden Globes, much to my wife and daughter's chagrin. We are movie people, my daughter even has a movie blog site. We see a lot of movies and await the awards outcomes enthusiastically. I'm in the TV Academy and vote on the Emmy Awards and sometimes serve on the selection committees. I won an Emmy last year. Award shows matter at my house. But as I sat sweating and writhing in my seat at the Emmy Awards last year I realized something, I like the awards but I HATE the award shows. Everybody does. Its been a long time since I found John Stewart or Robin Williams even remotely funny. Ellen DeGeneris can be funny, but never is at the Oscars. Its all shlock and shmaltz. I especially hate the speeches; those sniveling, brown nosing tributes to studio executives and relatives.
So the writers might have done us a favor. The thing that most people tune in to the Oscars for is to watch the actors walk up to the cameras and answer a few questions. What are the women wearing? How do they all come across? That's what people want to see, not some idiotic and endless dance number. So have the ceremonies, just dont televise them. Let the stars walk up the red carpet go inside and report the results as they're announced. The only losers are the network and the people who would have been hired to do the show. Screw em. We can still have our Oscar parties and yell in agony as our favorite movies are bypassed.

Monday, January 7, 2008

The Agent Of Change

I was stuck in New Hampshire the other day. I wanted to get on a bus but it cost $1.65. I only had two dollar bills and the local merchants were refusing to give bus change. Fortunately the Clinton Campaign was coming down the street so I fought my way to the front and asked Mrs. Clinton to help me out. "Why certainly," said she, as I handed her my dollar and she handed me three quarters, two dimes and a nickel. "I've been making change for years! Look at my record!" I thought about that, and about how Obama told me to get lost when I wanted to break a five to buy a coke at a vending machine a couple of days ago. She really does make change just like she says. If I was a Democrat and was confronted with two ideologically identical candidates I'd be thinking about the fact that Mrs. Clinton is surely the candidate of change. I guess Barak's excuse is that his economic policies will cause bad enough inflation to make a coke cost $5 in a vending machine, solving my problem.
By the way, the Republicans were no help, either. Hucky told me to pray for change and see what God sends, Rudy told me to invest my two dollars in a hedge fund and withdraw the profits in coins, Fred Thompson was asleep and John McLame told me to compromise with the Democrats and when we split the difference take what was left and get on the bus. Mutt Romney was too upset so I didnt bother him. He's probably broke anyway after spending all his money on his dead-end campaign.
Well, the bus is pulling up. Gotta go.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Holy Crap!

What if she wins? It could happen. After all, New Hampshire has a law that says that everybody who shows up at the polls and says they intend to live in NH gets to vote. The motor coaches with the free bottles of tokay ought to be pulling up at skid rows all over New England Tuesday morning. Maybe older women will lock their Obama-enthused brats in the basement, walk past their Republican husbands and go out there and make magic happen. What happens to Chris Matthews after She takes power? What happens to all the high falutin' libs that kicked the Clints when they were down? The only time these guys ever forget anything is when they're under oath in front of a prosecutor. You know Tim Russert just got a letter from his life insurance company canceling his policy. Clinton III- The Revenge Years.
The Clints have been mistaken for dead many times. Could it be real? I dont know how to say this... I've said that I was a conservative, see its like this... I MISS THEM ALREADY!!


OK, I dont agree with Barak Obama on ANYTHING! He is as far to the left as all the rest. If he gets elected I will be opposing every thing he does and be yelling at my TV set every day (well, I guess I do that no matter who's in office). We'll be able to put every worn-out Socialist nostrum to the test... or to another test since we've had thirty years experience with these same policies in Western Europe. And what was the result there? Negative economic growth, shredding social fabric, birthrates so low that many nations that have existed for thousands of years are heading towards extinction, collapsing health care systems, traditions forgotten, crime soaring, double-digit unemployment especially among the aggrieved immigrants who are replacing the unborn children of the aging Euros. Do we want to commit national suicide by embracing the same tenets of governance?
But thats the reality, the dream is different. The dream is the one that I worked for when I was thirteen years old and me and my friend Howard volunteered for the LBJ campaign. Civil Rights. It has taken nearly half a century for a black person to run for president without anyone saying," hey wait a minute, you guys are kidding". Most people fifty years ago did not think black people were capable of rising this high. People thought black people were inferior. Most white people never had anything to do with black people. Then after the Civil Rights revolution black people became scary. The stereotype moved to criminal and also to belligerent, touchy, bad manners. People were really angry about affirmative action. But as people mixed together at work and at school, when black people stopped being a concept and took on a day to day reality those attitudes disappeared except for chronically angry souls.
An amazing transformation of a nation but a timely one. The American Dream used to be a white dream but the decolonized and interconnected world is no longer a white world. Its a media world. People all over the world look to this country as a symbol of freedom and the ability of anyone to achieve a happy life. That this applies to non-white people keeps this dream alive. The degenerate Euros clutch their unsustainable Welfare States and sneer at America but people in Haiti, Jamaica, Mexico, China and Brazil know better. Talk to someone who has escaped some hellish African regime (there are plenty of them in LA) and ask them about America if you doubt my word.
When Barak Obama stands up as a credible candidate for the presidency I feel pride in my country, a country that set out to be better and became better. This is why we are the greatest country on earth. We are Free At Last, Free At Last, Thank God Almighty, We're Free At Last.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Elmer Gantry vs. Mr. Happyjive

Well the caucii have concluded. What a result! Whatever happens in the next ten months if this finishes The Clinton Crime Family it will have been well worth it. That particular breed of snake is hard to kill but it doesnt look like she has the political skill to pull out of the nosedive generated by her inability to do an interview with a non-pet journalist. But if I was to guess, she is finished. Now lets watch the rats desert the sinking ship.
The inside-the-beltway bunch thinks that the dead-man-walking candidacy of liberal John McLame has gotten some kind of a shot, not realizing that 15% is not his base but his maximum. The sagging chicken waddles of Gang Of 14 Amnesty Boy are not what anybody would want to put up against the glowing photogenic smile of Fresh Faced Non-Threatening Minority Cool Dude.
Obama is developing a charismatic aura. The film director John Waters once said that true celebrity is like being in drag as yourself and Obama overemotes just enough to work.
Thompson- broke Busted And Disgusted. Out.
Paul- A chronic disease. Lots of money and crazy followers so he will inhabit the fringe as long as he wants. If he gets a couple of delegates the RNC should make sure his speech to the convention occurs at 3am and there is a regrettable failure of the media feed so this embarrassment doesnt lose us the election like Buchanan's ravings did in '92.
Dodd- Gone.
Biden- Gone.
Richardson- Gone.
Edwards- Crippled, soon to be gone. He needed a win and he didnt get it. Obama will scoop up his supporters.
Romney- Heads into the reef in New Hampshire where inexplicably there seems to be a whole bunch of people whose senile dementia is so far advanced that they confuse McLame with a Republican. The funny thing is that as Mitt more and more obviously was not going to be the one I started getting a kind of liking for the guy. Cabinet officer in the Rudy Regime.
Huckster-Bee. His slimy populism is just another word for liberalism. The more I see this phony, insincere opportunist the less I like him. He's effective on free TV if not too hard pressed but lets see him in a one on one with the only remaining viable candidate.
Giuliani. OK Rude Boy, it is only you that stands between a nefarious, dishonest Man From Hope and the nomination. This is where the large-state Super Tuesday strategy is going to be put to the test.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Iowa Happens

After all these months, the endless boring debates, the ridiculous ever-shifting polls, the profound columns, the pontificating talking heads, its all in the hands of the slack-jawed Midwestern rusticates of Iowa. Tomorrow night the Iowa caucuses will probably prune the odd-lotters and publicity hounds from the stages of any subsequent debates and make people focus on the viable. Bye bye Richardson, Biden, Dodd, and Hunter.
The big news is said to be the heavy blows dealt to the Romney and Clinton campaigns. Both of these phony egotists have bet heavily on Iowa and if the polls are right (big if) they will both suffer heavily tonight. Good.
Romney spent a bundle and got major national coverage and didnt make the sale. Is he a conservative? Its doubtful that his pre-election conversion is sincere but who cares? He aint the guy. Period. If he lasts long enough to crap on McLame in NH then he will have served his purpose.
Her Royal Thighness. Will her baskets of Chicom cash enable her sluggish and faltering campaign to survive a third-place finish in a state where she campaigned so hard? She seems to have strained her vocal chords nagging the hapless residents of Iowa and has put BJ on the stump to make the case that she's a totally independent woman as she rasps to the finish. The aura of inevitability has already faded and even if she wins it will be in a scorched-earth assault on Obama and Edwards that will alienate many. Oh YEAH!
Edwards. An Edwards victory would really shake things up. As repugnant as he is, could it be possible that this coiffured Stalinist reptile could have some kind of appeal to normal humans? It doesnt seem possible. I watched him on CSPAN giving his warmed-over War On Poverty speeches and it amazes me that he could be anyone's first choice. Name your issue and he has a big-government expensive solution for it and he's going to shake down the wealthy to pay for it all. Well, he's got a shot at winning tonight so we'll see.
Obama. The Republican's favorite Democrat. Yes he says all the same irrational things as the rest of them, including advocating invading Pakistan to overthrow our only ally in the country, but he doesnt make me want to scream at my TV much. Maybe its just White Guilt but I kind of like the guy. If any of them are going to win it should be him. He will be amenable to reason. If he wins Iowa tonight, even by one vote, he will be hard to stop.
Kook-Sin-Itch. Is he still running? Will his tiny fringe of crackpots get him a delegate or two so he can make a speech at the convention?
Dr. Paul. Today Iowa, Tomorrow know.
McLame. The media continue to push this terminal case as though anyone could win the Republican nomination with Mark Levin and Rush Limbaugh in their face. The old Stalin quip, "Its like laying poultices on a dead man" should be applied to the effect of laudatory columns and phony polls in mainstream media news outlets. The day he said he'd like to give the Fairness Doctrine a second look he made himself some implacable and powerful enemies--- as if his Anmesty Bill and the Gang Of Fourteen hadnt done it already. A walking political corpse, gone after South Carolina.
Thompson. Having a surge. Every time I hear him on the radio or see him on TV I like him more. If he can stay alive until South Carolina he has a real shot.
Huckster-Bee. slimy, liberal, good on TV but has a gaffe-filled campaign. Picking a fight with Rush Limbaugh was a major mistake at a time when people were looking extra hard to make sure that the nominee was a real conservative. Now Rush questions his conservatism every day to the most hard-core high propensity block of voters in the Republican Party. He's high now but if he doesnt WIN BIG in Iowa he's probably on his way out.
Rudy. OK this is where it starts. Rudy's strategy seems to be to let the media candidates destroy each other in the opening rounds and keep his powder dry to defeat the damaged front-runner as the contest emerges into the big states where money and organization matter and where The Rude Boy's weakness on the social issues matter less. He is much more conservative than he is given credit for and is much more capable than any of the others. If his strategy pays off his foresight and discipline would in themselves be additional reasons to support him and hope that he would prevail in November. If it doesnt its bye bye.

The Richard M Nixon Look-Alike Contest!!!

The envelope please. Lemme just tear it open and... the winner...Mike Huckster-Bee!!! Look at the above photo, its all there. To win this coveted prize you have to more than physically resemble Nixon, you have to be Nixonian in your heart and soul. And who more than the Huck-man? He's not believable on any issue but so, so sincere as his dark beagle eyes look unblinkingly into the camera. People look at him and think, what if he turns out to be the same kind of non-conservative functionary that Bush did? But comparisons to W are not apt. W went to Harvard and Yale where he studied management and although you can accuse him of making some fairly egregious political errors you cant fault his nearly flawless management of the government. No scandals, no special prosecutors.
But cast your mind back to the fabulous 70's and remember Tricky Dicky. he got a lot done but he had a Congress that was left over from the LBJ landslide in '64 and by and large he went along with the swelling, metastasizing War On Poverty. Conservatives like William F Buckley and William Rusher HATED Nixon, maybe even as much as the Libs who finally did him in.
Huckster-Bee has the Dicky-vibe and the jello-jowls to prove it. And look at his friends! (see above photo). In fact he has the same 'I'm one of you, I feel your pain' TV delivery as you-know-who.
Yesterday he was on Hannity and Combes. Neither of those two could be described as a pushover but he out-filibustered them both. Hucky managed to NOT answer a question that bought his core conservative values into question. No answer is an answer-- he's not a conservative. He's just ambiguous enough to let you think that he probably might be. Tricky Hucky.

Now here's a VP choice if the Republicans should be so deluded as to give the nomination to Huckster-Bee. Billy Mays. One time I sent off for 'Sorb-Eze' at Mr May's behest, his screaming enthusiasm had me jumping up and down. Why this miracle product could take your Great Dane's carpet accident and make it as dry as the Gobi Desert in SECONDS! Now the Sorb-ezes werent bad. They werent as good as I was led to believe, however they did sop up water adequately. They also sopped up a twelve dollar shipping and handling charge, making this purchase of mediocre sopping rags a more than thirty dollar purchase. So Billy's raging enthusiasm can work for the Huckster-Bee- Mays ticket. If they get elected we'll wake up some day and wonder how we got this mediocre result for such a high price.