Thursday, December 31, 2009

Skep41's Man Of The Year Award

Americans are so arrogant and xenophobic. We thought that we had, in BJ Clinton, the horniest, crookedest, lyingest, money-grubbing disgrace to Democracy in the history of this troubled world. Others have given old BJ a run for his money but until now there just wasnt any competition.

Until Now.

I guess its a sign that America is losing its edge. Its one of the BRIC countries that has produced the new paragon, the matchless man, Skep41's Man Of The Year! A winner and also, like the lovable BJ, a Victim Of Love.

In Hyderabad, India, a town known only for its growing hi-tech industries and a pedestrian run-over rate second only to Beijing there dwelt our Man Of The Hour, Narain Dutt Tiwari. He was the governor of the state of Andhra Pradesh. Yes, was the governor until the vindictive and the uptight got involved in his private life.

Here was an active senior citizen at the top of his game at eighty-six years young, making things happen for his backward state better than any thirty year old. When an eager businesswoman approached him about a mining lease Narain Dutt Tiwari sprang into action. Now mining isnt as iffy in India as it is here. There are no well-organized Ecological whackos, no environmental impact studies to be filed, no endless court cases, no thuggish unions to be placated; in India they want wealth above ground and screw the planet! And to facilitate the digging you just have to grease one guy, Narain Dutt Tiwari. One stop shopping and all your troubles are over. Park yer bakshish budget with Narain Dutt Tiwari and start work tomorrow.

Did I mention that Narain Dutt Tiwari is eighty six years old? Now, we've all had to take care of our aging parents and we all know that when they get up there in age they can come up with some unusual requests and our Senior Citizen Governor had a very unusual request to make of the woman who was negotiating for this particular lease. He wanted to have sex with three hookers at the same time. At eighty six years old. I suppose there were some eyebrows raised somewhere but when you want permission to drill you have to satisfy some unique requests.

So Narain Dutt Tiwari got his party. He even videotaped the proceedings so he could have something to remember in his old age. So that's the first way he qualifies for MOTY; being 86 and still game enough to tackle three young women at the same time and also being idiotic enough to let there be a videotape made of the action. What a guy!

So Narain Dutt Tiwari gets his trip to Girlie World, but was he happy? Apparently not because he stiffed the person who hired the hookers and gave the lease to someone else, someone with four hookers perhaps. What a guy even more! Passing a basket of cash to the Clintons and letting BJ paw your old lady always got you what you wanted but Narain Dutt Tiwari is made of sterner stuff. He laughed at that paltry attempt to influence an honest politician, making him not only hornier than BJ Clinton but LESS HONEST! How many people in the world can say that and not be lying?

But he, or she in this case, who laughs last laughs best! The disgruntled briber had nothing to show for her efforts--except that crummy video. I mean who wants to look at the 86 year old governor of their state in bed with three hookers? Plenty of people, it turns out. The tape got posted on the internet and all hell broke loose!

Now how does a guy, caught on a video tape that everyone has seen, handle the adverse publicity? If he's Narain Dutt Tiwari he yells FRAME-UP! I mean, he's 86 years old and they're charging him with getting it on with three women at the same time, a feat most guys couldnt pull off at 28 years old? If it wasnt for the tape showing him actually doing it he might have gotten away with it, but alas, the video images were too strong for even a politician as skilled as Narain Dutt Tiwari to overcome. He had no sincere wife to sit beside him and claim that they've moved on from their past problems, no adoring media to explain that the prosecutor was a sex maniac, not even a team of fast talking hacks to launch smear attacks on his critics. Narain Dutt Tiwari was all alone on this one.

It was then that he did the thing that gets him Skep's Man Of The Year award, leaving any competition in the dust. He resigned because of his health. 86, three women, and his health is bad! Yup. They dont come any sleazier and dishonest than that!

And so, for being a 100% total creep, for making all the rest of us, even the Clintons, look relatively honest and for being an inspiration to those of us who fear our eighty sixth birthday I am happy to announce that Narain Dutt Tiwari is my man of the year. If I could afford it I'd hire three Indian hookers and a camera and send them over to his palace to give him his reward and raise the old duffer's spirits. Congratulations!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Pluck My Roosting Chickens!

Look, up in the sky, its a bird, its a burning plane, no, ITS SUPERPOWER! The geniuses in the Obama Administration have just let us know that America is even safer than before because they have added the ultimate anti-terror weapon to our jihadi-stopping arsenal---Dutch Tourists! These Netherlandic Neandrathals will put an explosive-loaded terrorist in a headlock before you can say Jak Roebynsyn! Fly in Peace, nervous traveler.

Then, the next day, on national TV you can check out our fat-faced smiling Homeland Security Broad as she announces that 'the system worked'. Worked, did it? Let's see what one of the most egregious Obama bum-crawlers wrote in a newspaper that openly supports terrorists and prints e-mail from the Obama White House as settled science:

"If we can’t catch a Nigerian with a powerful explosive powder in his oddly feminine-looking underpants and a syringe full of acid, a man whose own father had alerted the U.S. Embassy in Nigeria, a traveler whose ticket was paid for in cash and who didn’t check bags, whose visa renewal had been denied by the British, who had studied Arabic in Al Qaeda sanctuary Yemen, whose name was on a counterterrorism watch list, who can we catch?"

Maureen Dowd
New York Times

My theory is that Maureen flies a whole lot and doesnt want to get blown up by some hot-wired Islamonazi savage on her way to a well-paid speaking gig. The incompetence and stupidity of the PC crowd- the Clinton, Bush, Obama PC crowd- is overwhelming! We dont need to lock the bathrooms an hour before the plane lands (my prostate throbs just at the thought of that), or turn off the little TV screen that tells you you're flying over Scranton or any of that stuff. We need to find out what town these creeps live in and wipe it off the face of the Earth.

I've been to Yemen, its a Wild West kind of a place where everybody walks around with a giant curved rhino-horn-handled dagger and a giant bag of a drug called qat which they chew all the live-long day, a drug with a high very reminiscent of methamphetamine. To get to sleep they go down to the local drugstore and buy valiums by the handfull (there is no word for prescription in Arabic). Driving an automobile in this place is a tad risky as the average driver has a wad of qat in his cheek, took two valiums to take the edge off and has a mullah intoning the Koran on his tape deck with the volume on 11. The many barnyard animals sauntering about freely amongst the stoned-out traffic and the penchant of the well-armed locals for blood feuds just add to the fun. The more collateral damage in Turbaned Tweakertown the better in my mind. There is no rational way to reach these people, take it from one who has partied with them. Yemen is a nation of drugged-out delusional whackos, kind of like Los Angeles, but worse. Every terrorist attack should be followed with a retaliation strong enough to make a band of terrorists unwelcome in any community.

But our Islamonazi buddies are not the point, we have a bigger problem. The only time our leaders have mentioned the word Islam is when they have implored us not to have an anti-Muslim backlash. Thats the first shot out of the box from every single one of these incompetent losers. They're more upset at the idea of some of us unstable Aryan types writing graffiti on the walls of the Saudi embassy than they are at the thought of 300 people on a jet crashing into a densely populated suburb on Christmas Day. Of course the religious angle of an attack on Christmas Day is lost on our Post-Modern moral idiots.

We dont need an anti-Muslim backlash we need an anti-Barack Obama backlash. We need an anti-elitist PC fools backlash. If it wasnt for those idiots we would be 100% totally safe. No one would dare mess with a country with the military and intelligence resources of this country if we had the cajones to use them. But we dont. Those weapons and intelligence resources are in the hands of a bunch of over-educated cream puffs who are so bedazzled by visions of America's chickens coming home to roost that they wont take the most fundamental steps to protect us, steps obvious to the entire rest of the population; offensive action overseas and an aggressive campaign against foreign-funded, terrorist-supporting, Muslim hate groups in this country.

We also need to ask our beloved Secretary Of State, formerly the Most Brilliant Woman In The Universe, a woman whose diarrheic opinions gush forth at the mere hint of a camera in the room and who is strangely missing from the TV screens during this bleak failure of every government department, we need to ask Madam Hillary why her wonderfully de-Bushed State Department is issuing multiple entry visas to people on terrorist watch lists. We also need to audit the current visa list and match it with the terrorist watch list and then make it Job One to grab anybody who is at all slightly fishy and kick them out of the country RIGHT NOW! without the benefit of any administrative procedure.

After 9-11 the libs were all wandering around asking, "Why do they hate us?", totally ignoring the effect a valueless, obese, drunken, Godless, wildly promiscuous society composed of completely self-obsessed pigs might have on a deeply religious society. But there's another reason; they hate us because we're a nation who has picked a pack of contemptible gutless cowards to lead us. Who wouldnt spit on a nation led by liberals? Those simpering beeches beg for it and smile and apologize while the loogy drips down their guilt-riddled faces.

But, they're doing a great job in their own minds. Remember that day after Virginia and New Jersey had just sent the Dems a message, that day that Nutsy Pelosi announced Total Victory? Now match that up with 'The System Worked' from Janet Incompetano (thanx Mark Stein, its too apt not to use), her fat smiling face wreathed in happiness and pride at the swell job the guys down at Homeland Security are doing. These geniuses never make mistakes, to quote Solzhenitsyn, who knew a commie when he saw one.

There's an easy way to judge if 'the system is working'. Both this incident and the horrible attack at Fort Hood were linked directly to one creep in Yemen; when he's dead we'll know that Barry And The PC Gang are serious about protecting our safety. In war you dont play defense, you attack if you want to win.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Geniuses 1- Aryans 0

If my father was alive today he'd roll over in his grave. How did I go so far astray? I guess it was that first Civil War reenactment. Georgia Infantry. You know, the slavery guys. That was my gateway drug but who ever would have thought...I didnt even recognize how sick I had become until that nice Senator Whitehouse laid it all out. And this guy is really cool, too! I used to go to his website, I mean the chicks on that site would do anything! But I guess being up to his elbows in freaky porn 24/7 did something to his brain and turned him anti-social. He quit being a respectable pornographer and now he's the Democratic Senator from Rhode Island. Sorry Mr. & Mrs. Whitehouse, maybe your other kids turned out honest.

But, whatever, this dude might be misguided but he's plenty smart! You see, after I went to that Civil War reenactment I went to a Tea Party. Now, in between these two events I voted for John McLame so I figured that I was just as much of a commie as anybody else. I mean, I even recycle! Well, my wife makes me, but I'm saving the planet just as much as the Greenest of the Green. You know, when Copenhagen happened I tried really hard not to laugh. Well, not that hard. I missed Barry's Nobel Speech. I figured if he said anything memorable people would remember it and tell me about it but nobody ever mentioned it so I guess watching 'Rotten Tomatoes' on Algore's Current Network was a better choice after all. That level of apathy and ignorance would qualify me as an Obama Voter, wouldnt it? So I figured I was cool.

But Thoughtcrime is insidious, it creeps in and turns you into a counterrevolutionary without you even knowing it. I was hanging out with some of my Tea Party friends, few and far between in this neck of the woods, and just for a joke we were kidding around about how Obama and the Democrats were wrecking the country and spitting on the Constitution...I mean those guys are a crack-up, they'll say anything for a laugh. Anyway Troxl, a huge blond Viking of a man looked off into the not too distant future that we only have to march towards over the bodies of our subhuman enemies and said, "Hey guys, wouldnt it be fun to do a World War Two reenactment?"

"Wunderbar!" said Hendrick, wiping an errant hank of hair back from his forehead and crossing his arms forcefully, "We can be the SS Totenkopfverband Division!" It all seemed so innocent. We would put on our black uniforms, drink imported beer (from guess where?), taking care not to spill any on our swell armbands, and talk about Health Care and pass around the literature that we downloaded off those hip insurance company websites while we converted our AR-16s to full auto. You know, just hanging out with the guys.

Then, there it was, The Truth, so obvious, so powerful. Sheldon Whitehouse, genius, savant, a man whose vision and insight were spotted and harnessed by those wise Rhode Island voters tells it like it is...

"The birthers, the fanatics, the people running around in right-wing militia and Aryan support groups, it is unbearable to them that President Barack Obama should exist."

OMG! He's so right! That nice little old lady I talked to at that Tea Party about the Constitution, she was like a Nazi or something. Those Aryan types are mighty crafty. They seemed like struggling small business people and disillusioned working class types to me, people afraid for their future and anxious to preserve their freedom. Most of them werent even blond and they left their armbands at home to fool guys like me into thinking they were legitimate protesters. Dang! I've been hanging out with a bunch of Nazis the whole time and I didnt even know it! If these critters find out that my father was Jewish they might turn me into a lampshade or something!

One thing kind of gets me about Senator Whitehouse, though. He was speaking after all of him and his left-wing buddies voted in perfect lock-step to pass a HealthScare Bill that was locked in Uraih Heep Reid's office, unread by anyone, in a party-line vote in the dead of night. Whats he got against us disgruntled fringe elements anyway? We're powerless. You'd almost think that the emissions from guys like him were warming up the political atmosphere so much that the mandate that his party lied its way into was melting in a hot sea of voter anger. No, that's not true, the New York Times says everybody still loves Obama deep down but they're just cranky that he's not far enough to the left. Uh-huh.

But for a party that now has its victory those Dems arent celebrating very much, are they? The blatant purchase, with money borrowed from the Chicoms or printed up fresh by the Federal Reserve, of the votes of three of the most nauseating hypocrites ever to disgrace any public office was enough to make anyone gag. Even Dianne Sawyer's botoxed skin-mask wrinkled a little on that one. Ben Nelson reminds me of a big fat dog I had once that got sprayed by a skunk and then wanted to come in the house to get to his food bowl, his face twisted with greed but trying to be ingratiating as he reeked like a ripe corpse. Blanche Lincoln looks like the harrassed woman from down the street who would show up with a bunch of bruises to have coffee and would tell my mother, "Harry says I dont listen too good..." Mary Landfill looks like the cheerleader that the football players used to get sloppy drunk after every game and drag into the showers. She has that same demented leering grin pasted onto her face that doesnt quite hide her political nymphomania. What a bunch of losers! My skunk-sprayed dog had more moral fiber than all sixty Demo Senators put together. In fact I should apologize to Cooper for comparing him to Al Franken or Chuck Schumer.

Loser numero uno has to be the aptly named Joe Loserman. Skunks take one whiff of him and run the other way. Remember during the impeachment trial in the Senate when they announced solemnly that Loserman was going to make a speech that would burn that nasty BJ Clinton to the ground, and what a lot of phony-baloney pious hot air it turned out to be? Well, that time he peed on anybody dumb enough to think he wasnt just as much of a commie as all the rest of the Demos. Just like he did again this week.

Well, at least Whitehouse set me straight on this opposition to Health Scare. I told those guys that I wasnt going to be a part of their racist cabal anymore and to take back those Friedrick Von Hayek hate manuals and all those Milton Freidman and George Gilder hate books for the next big book burning and count me out. I feel clean now. I can recycle with a happy heart. Well, not completely happy; before I quit they were going to make me an Unterscharfuhrer!

Friday, December 18, 2009

The Crapen-Hoken Clown Posse

During the current record-breaking blizzard covering our suffering nation with a layer of ice and snow unemployment has taken an unexpected (not by anybody with any sense) jump up and the HealthScare pie fight continues in Congress and the Senate. The nation's rage grows more white-hot (uh-oh, Warming You Can Believe In!) against the Stalinist policies that these lying radicals, these jerks who were 'fiscal conservatives' a year ago when they were running for election, are inflicting on an economy already grinding to a frozen halt as blizzards harsher than anyone has seen in their lifetimes rage in wave after wave across our frozen homeland; a land with an icebound economy taxed to a frozen halt as giant tax increases and oppressive regulations pile up like mile-thick glaciers, blocking any growth and crushing any enterprise under their frozen sheets of Marxist stupidity.

After signing into law another titanic trillion-dollar giveaway subsidy to every domestic parasite and loser in the country our jug-eared Stalinist clown of a Chief Executive has taken some time off from wrecking our nation to fly over in a fleet of jets belching black carbon from every nozzle into the swirling snows of CrapenHoken to promise to hand over hundreds of billions of deficit dollars to every leering. greedy savage wrecking their own 'underdeveloped' nations' economies so that this collection of Chavez-loving bloodthirsty Leninist thugs can have more goodies to pass out to their cronies and put in their Swiss bank accounts.

And where is the genius of Hope And Change getting this mountain of Lucky Bucks? He's borrowing it from the Chicoms. If the monsters who run China are so danged concerned about the overhyped con-job of phony Global Warming 'Science' why dont the Progressive Socialists running that totalitarian nightmare of a dictatorship take some time off from chopping their citizens up and selling their organs on the black market to lend themselves the money and leave us out of it. The Friend Of The Atmosphere is already engaged in turning the country that was stupid enough to elect him into a Tanzania-like, poverty-stricken Marxist dictatorship so our carbon footprint is going to shrink no matter what idiotic treaty the totalitarian liars in CrapenHoken come up with. The Hoaxers have now been under the gun for a month from the ClimateGate revelations but have yet to produce ANY data or ANY evidence that their fictitious 'science' has any basis in reality at all, but that doesnt bother President Slappy and the Red Brigade in Washington in their breathless quest to levy Crap On Trade taxes on a crumbling economy.

Meanwhile Nutsy Pelosi has jetted over into the blizzard conditions swirling around CrapenHoken with her wizened and surgically scarified, botoxed skeletal mug, trailed by her zoo-like collection of squirrelly, deformed corruptocrats (aka the House leadership) to underline what an insult to common sense this whole cretinous circus of moronism is. They're claiming they are there to create even more Green Jobs. The only Green Jobs this collection of freakish-looking Bozos has created involve standing next to your mailbox picking your nose while you wait for your unemployment check to arrive. The great Green Jobs dilemma is Eat Or Flick, although in the current polar weather conditions the Eaters might have to microwave their Green Snacks, increasing the carbon footprint of our evil capitalist nation. We can count on Nutsy and the boys to give us a few hearty laughs to amuse us as we slip into further into a freezing Ice Age poverty.

Also good for a chuckle is the Hoaxer's Clown-mander In Chief, the always vomitatious Algore, standing with his feet frozen in a block of ice spouting made-up 'statistics' so absurd that even the bum-crawling liars at the government-run New York Times are obliged to note his 'unsupported statements'. Of course the noble NYT doesnt give any credence to the absurd notion bruited about by the Deniers that this fifteen year descent into Arctic weather has something to do with the sun (aka Big Ball Of Fire In Sky) and not, as the Hoaxers claim, a much-deserved punishment for our Evil Consumerist ways.

Crapen-Hoken has underlined, if any more underlining is needed, what a deluded pack of idiots these Hoaxers are. Well, what do you expect from these over-educated, arrogant, elitist creeps, these graduates of radical indoctrination centers like Harvard or Yale? The Settled Science is that these dopes are wrong about everything they say. EVERYTHING! The old cliche about a blind pig occasionally finding an ACORN is disproven by this bunch, whose one ACORN has been revealed as being as dishonest, lawless, incompetent, confused, ignorant and stupid as their Democratic paymasters. These Congressional Friends Of The Poor are conspiring to hand out bales of a currency that is on its way to becoming as worthless as the toilet paper the Hoaxers want to deny to us all. We wont be so lucky as to have these guys apply the 'one sheet' policy to wipe the carbon problem away from the world's odiferous industrial exhaust pipes. We can expect whole rainforests to be turned into treeless deserts to publish the massive White Papers, white as the zero-visibility blizzard raging outside the conference, that the Hoaxers, pushed into panic mode by the ongoing collapse of their lie, will need to write to justify this Grand Larceny by the ruling class against us apparently undertaxed peons.

The weird Kabuki dance of vile and nauseating anti-capitalist demonstrators outside, fighting the Danish police in the howling maelstrom of the advancing Ice Age, adds a hilarious footnote to the macabre sight of Western Civilization committing mass suicide in freezing weather conditions not seen since the end of World War 2. If you're a leftist and you were stupid enough to vote for the Commissar of Hope And Change than you are responsible for our formerly great nation's involvement in this travesty...a travesty that George W Bush, to his great credit, would never have played along with.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A Tidal Wave Is Coming

This morning on Real Clear Politics Stuart Rothenburg, a thoughtful liberal and solidly inside-the-beltway type, writes a calm think-piece allowing that there has been a shift in the political winds and that the Republican Brand that the DC geniuses had pronounced as unsellable, the brand that had become as toxic as the American Motors brand became in the seventies, had enjoyed a slight but understandable comeback. Why the Dems, who 'everybody' thought would enlarge their one-party grip on total power, might even lose a seat or two in 2010 and that they should work ever harder to enact their program of reform before the curmudgeonly voters emerge from their musty-smelling tea parties and knock off a few deserving but misunderstood stalwarts. Stuey picks carefully amongst the crowd of beached Demo political whales and concludes that they are merely sunbathing, although one or two might have problems returning to the water.

"The overall shift in the psychology of the cycle ..." The overall shift is from Hope And Change to Dopes Enraged as the chumps who bought the Obama con j0b realize how badly they've been had. They're looking at the 'Ronald Reagan Democrats' who turned into 'Joseph Stalin Democrats' the minute they got to DC. They're looking at two trillion dollar deficits from the people who spent eight years screaming about Bush's 250 billion dollar deficits. They're looking at 10% and growing official unemployment rates and real unemployment rates approaching 20% and then looking over at the college grads sitting in their living rooms listlessly watching TV because they cant find a job with their expensive but worthless degrees. They've noticed that the Dems want to cut half a billion dollars from the already bankrupt Medicare and add twenty or thirty million new 'beneficiaries', many of them citizens of China or Mexico. They're watching the once-proud US turn into a groveling satrapy of the Chicoms and the shameful spectacle of our President bowing low as he apologizes to every clapped-out, bloodthirsty Leninist dictator while at the same time he stiffs our long-time allies. They're thinking about the vast ocean of oil and trillions of cubic yards of natural gas left in the ground while the people who refuse to build nuke power plants are waxing poetic about windmills and solar panels that produce tiny amounts of electricity at a huge cost. They're looking at a government whose policies are aimed at the end of individual automobile ownership and that is committed to lowering the standard of living for us little peons so we dont mess up the atmosphere with our carbon-criminal lifestyles. They're looking at a HealthScare 'reform' that steeply raises taxes on small business and the middle class five years before introducing a system that will destroy private health care and dump us all into a Soviet-style gubmint health care system that has failed miserably in every country stupid enough to try it. They're reading about a shadow government run outside any Constitutional restraint by Commissars who have openly announced their fervent commitment to Marxist ideology; a safe-schools Commissar who openly advocates child molestation and a regulatory Commissar who advocates giving legal representation to animals among the collection of angry utopian crackpots who have been awarded vast powers by an arrogant chief executive. They're looking at a Crap On Trade Tax that claims that it will fix the weather and that is based on phony made-up 'data' that the 'scientists' who promulgate it claim to have lost. They're looking at the open Democrat support for a criminal organization openly engaged in voter fraud. They're looking at a war in Afghanistan where the commander-in-chief has refused to identify victory as a goal and whose only announced policy is one of 'disengagement'.

If the American people have any sense left at all there wont be a single Democrat viable for any office in any state. There is a tidal wave of rage amongst normal people against these lying left-wing elitists and despair and angst among Democrats who see all their prized hallucinations melting away as the test of reality is applied and the phony 'moderate' label becomes harder and harder to use to bamboozle the voters. This avid anger is a real tidal wave larger than any of that drooling moron Algore's fantasy Global Warming Computer Model tidal waves. It is a wave that will sweep the trembling edifice of the Hope And Changeniks into the swirling waters of their failed and misguided policies.

One idea is emerging as the watchword for the 2010 election becomes clear; if you vote for ANY Democrat for ANY office you are a complete and total dolt. They have proven their idiocy, corruption, arrogance and incompetence beyond a shadow of a doubt. The leftist nostrums so dear to the hearts of every Democrat are bringing poverty and disaster to the voters they have lied to so fervently and are whipping up a wave of fury against them. The truth is now crystal clear; there are NO moderate Democrats, only a pack of damned commies who should hang their heads in shame and who have no business in any public office.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Scooby Dooby Dubai

Is this it? Is the trainwreck of Western Civilization happening right now? Is the massive global phenomenon of unsustainable government liabilities about to hit the fan? They're now talking about 'sovereign debt', the debts that nations owe, as being as shaky as mortgage paper was two years ago. Those man-made luxury islands, glittering jewels in the crown of Dubai, turn out to be just as tacky and worthless as the $700,000 badly-build shack in the desert around Lancaster, CA that they sold using a negative amortization no doc loan.

Lets face it, Dubai was always a swindle anyway. A beach resort where its a felony to wear a bikini? Where alcohol is illegal except in the hideously expensive hotels? Yeah baby, throw on your best burkha and we can stroll by the edge of a stagnant inland sea, the tarballs squishing between our burning toes as the Arabian sun beats down mercilessly. If you like we can take $60 and buy a warm lemonade and two straws and stand by the edge of the untreated sewage outflow next to the beach and watch the glow of the Iranian nuclear program rising just across the water. Hey book me in there! Lucky for us they had the foresight to build thousands of hotel rooms in this tourist paradise. Lucky for them they had all these bankers who were making so much money selling shacks in Lancaster to welfare recipients and speculators who were looking around for a savvy investment and who looked on a piece of Dubai as a seat on the bus to Moneytown!

Moneytown is starting to look a whole lot like downtown Dubai City these days. A few buildings still gleam proudly but they tower over the ruins of a massive mirage, built for Global Capitalism but now crushed by Global Statism. It was a vision of shaped islands becoming the gleaming jewels of a city that rises as a new, modern, clean-edged cosmopolitan metropolis out of the bare desert, creating a trillion dollars of value where there were only a few shacks before. Now that only works in a world where wealth is expanding, in a Middle East of safety and prosperity with a real robust economy. The whole thing was wrong because the idiots started believing that they were something other than a pack of petty merchants living off the royalties from their oil wells. They greedily ran the price of oil to $150 a barrel to pay for their vanity projects and toppled the first domino.

The next domino was the shack in Lancaster. That went from being a bundled derivative to a toxic asset in one news cycle. The blowback from that caused the election of an American government very much farther to the left than any other had previously been. An anti-business government, an anti-military government, a government run by people who think globalization is evil and better controlled by the United Nations than by individual nations all vying for advantage and locking out the deserving Third World Poor. The first action by that government was to dip into the already deficit-laden treasury and vote a trillion-dollar handout to its political cronies in the name of economic stimulus. Other governments around the world, many in worse shape than the United States, followed suit. Not one single government has scaled back any of the social programs and transfers that are at the heart of the current crises. Nations like Greece and Spain are hovering on the edge of default.

I live in California. Our budget is $60 billion. Our tax receipts are $36 billion and falling as rising taxes cripple the economy. Oba-mao is clucking about 'Carbon Reductions', a euphemism for an energy tax that will add dramatic costs to everything. The US Congress, in the hands of leftist dummies whose ignorance and stupidity on economic matters is horrifying, is talking about a value-added tax on everything; neither bode well for the future tax receipts of the state. The taxes from the HealthScare Bill start immediately upon passage, the Bush Tax Cuts will be allowed to expire. Meanwhile, our local commies have just emerged from their brilliant $24 billion deficit budget session and have announced, "we're through making cuts!" The Democrats have a two-thirds majority in each chamber of the legislature and a Governator who is trapped between the gun and abortion fanatics in the Republican Party who hate his Hollywood guts, and the Dem super majorities and a public union sector that dominates the state through its dues-paid political slush funds; a Governator whose meek calls for sanity are routinely ignored.

If they're 'through making cuts' that means that the local yokels aren't through raising taxes. There is an official 13% unemployment rate in the state but that's hogwash. Incomes and the amount of work available in industries like film or construction are way down. Restaurants and service industries are paring employees fast as their receipts fall. The Public Employee Unions have carved out phat pension plans for their members and elected a raft of Dems to make sure they get every penny but CALPERS (the name of the union pension fund) lost heavily in the derivatives crash and currently holds a portfolio stuffed with those rock-solid California bonds.
The pension fund is as bankrupt as the state.

Maybe the Dubai collapse wont touch off a global landslide. Maybe its just another part of the landslide started by $150 a barrel oil two years ago, who can tell? Maybe California will find enough money to pay the pensions of its public employees. Maybe Health Scare taxes wont break the bank. Maybe everything is going to be OK and the people in charge are plotting a wise and safe course through the treacherous economic waters. But look at the photo at the head of this article. Usually I do some kind of Photoshoppery to add some new meaning to the photos I use but I have used this excellent photo untouched because it more or less says it all. These are the critters who hold our fate in their clammy paws. Look into the two faces in this photo and behold the approaching avalanche.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Worship Science

Those Right-Wing terrorists are at it again! This time they're endangering the entire planet with their misguided high-jinks. How dare they hack into the computers of one of the most prestigious Climate Science facilities in the world and publish the results of their theft?

Interestingly enough, the Scientists at the University Of East Anglia Climate Unit (they wrote the UN's IPCC paper on Climate Change) and their cohorts werent e-mailing each other expressing the outrage they felt at the dummies who couldnt understand the dire nature of the Global Warming Catastrophe, they werent pointing to the self-evidence and the watertight science that justifies their alarm and their solemn demand that we all lower our standard of living to try to fend off certain death in a soon-to-be rotisserie oven climate that our incandescent light bulbs and SUVs were about to cause. No, they had other things on their really smart Scientific minds.

Like why the data show no evidence of Global Warming and how to cover that very inconvenient truth up. That's why these extra-smart guys are earning the Big Bucks. They can look past the maze of often confusing 'facts' and see the Big Picture more sharply then us little nematodes. If the Big Picture calls for a bit of 'trickery' to adjust a few temperature graphs to make it appear that temperatures went up when in fact they went down then its the obligation of a Real Scientist to engage in that trickery. Those pesky tree-rings werent sending the right signals either. In fact, it would seem, to the uneducated mind, that every single thing these yo-yos have told us for the last twenty years is flat-out dead wrong and they've known about it the whole time.

I grew up in a 'scientific' family. My old man was a tech writer for years for a company that worked on the underground nuke tests in Nevada. In my house science was preferred over religion because science was true and religion was just a bunch of unsupported speculation. What am I to think now? Here are people who have shed the shackles of medieval superstition and dedicated themselves to a ruthless pursuit of the Truth, no matter where it might lead, who have found it necessary to resort to data adjustments to make the conclusions fit their preconceived opinions.

"Thou Shalt Not Lie'...that was some of that religious stuff. Pretty ludicrous. Where's the supporting evidence to show that that's something we ought to abide by? But something that the wise guys of Science didnt understand when they were laughing at Lot's wife turning into a pillar of salt and all that other stuff was that the totality of any belief system expresses itself in the type of society that arises from its tenets. For example, the mythology of Christianity gave rise to a society that rose to become the most free, the most advanced and the most humanitarian in human history. From that humanitarian concern for one's fellow man arose a branch of belief, one that became its own unique belief system, that posited that if the wisest and most enlightened among us would rewrite the Social Contract, which defines the relationship between an individual and society, that a truly just and fair world could emerge.

People who adhered to this belief system, now generally known as Socialism, abandoned the unscientific fairy stories about virgins having babies and people walking on water. They also abandoned the subjective pointing at some people as 'good' and others as 'bad' on the basis of one's actions. Morality is so complicated and there are so many different factors to consider. Who even needs morality when you have Science to lean on? And so these geniuses rolled up their Scientific sleeves and got to work.

The first try, the French Revolution, started out great! Then it just lost its focus or something. Heads started rolling into baskets, a ruthless dictator emerged and fought a twenty-year war that killed millions and set fire to a continent. Well, part of Science is experimentation. Few hypotheses have had the testing that the Socialist hypothesis has had. The idea has been tried in dozens of countries, sometimes labeled Communism, Fascism, Social Democracy, People's Republics, Welfare States but somehow the correct formula has never been reached. The result is always the same. Disaster. Either the smoking ruins of National Socialist Germany or the degenerate chaos of a former Soviet Union or the genteel demographic death rattles of the Eurotrash Welfare states are the legacy of Socialism. Formerly vibrant cultures snuffed out, formerly energetic societies turning into aging hulks on the road to extinction are an intrinsic part of that legacy.

In every socialist country birth rates plunge. Its funny that no Brilliant Scientist has ever done a study to measure the relationship between the amount of government social programs and the birth rate. The country that was ravaged by Stalinism and is still an ugly crypto-socialist dictatorship has one of the lowest birth rates in the world. The high birth rate of Muslims in Russia masks the virtual disappearance of ethnic Russians. Almost every 'former' People's Republic is exactly the same. Western Europe, with its own bloated cradle-to-grave welfare systems and tax rates that border on total confiscation, will have depopulated itself in two generations. The immigrants from primitive countries with higher (but falling) birth rates are moving into an emptying continent filled with the ruins of the cathedrals built to a now-forgotten God. China hovers on the edge of a demographic disaster.

You would think that the same experiment getting the same result under a multitude of varying circumstances would lead minds steeped in Scientific Reason to the obvious conclusion.

But hey! This was about Global Warming wasnt it? That's Settled Science. In Stalin's USSR there was a biologist named Trofim Lysenko. He practiced 'settled science' too. If he settled on some science you better settle on it pretty quick yourself or he'd see to it that the appropriate agencies would 'settle' your hash. Just like what has happened to the 'Deniers' of Climate Gospel...oh, I mean Climate Science. While these Scientists were exchanging hundreds of e-mails about how the data werent backing up their speculations they were lauching political campaigns in faculties and in the public press smearing the 'Deniers' and trying to get them fired. Any Scientist too honest to keep his mouth shut and look at the Big Picture was castigated and sent to the edges of academic purgatory by the Settled Scientists, the one's who have so completely rejected Mythology and replaced it with Reason.

TS Eliot was right. The world ends not with a banging carbon-induced heat wave but with the whimper of our freedom and humanity being snuffed out by the dead hand of a Science that became a political religion.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

We Never Make Mistakes!

Nancy Pelosi took an axe
and gave the economy forty whacks!
And they say when she was through
she gave the Blew Dogs forty too!

Yes, I listened to those braggadocious Right-Wingers Wednesday morning, crowing about their so-called 'victories' in New Jersey and Virginia. I was almost confused enough to be happy about it myself, until I got The Word. Our national Mad Granny came down from the attic, a smile almost cracking through the tightly-stretched, botoxed flesh on the starved-looking skullfaced wreckage of a once-beautiful face and informed us that ,"We won!" It was like that scene from 'Springtime For Hitler' where Little Joe lays the good war news on Dick Shawn as Hitler. "We're winning, Heil Baby!"

Of course its a different scene over at the White House where Barry is sitting at the piano morosely singing:

One and one is two
two and three is five
if I cant hold Jersey
Is Healthscare still alive?

But buck up Barry. San Fran Nan knows something you dont know. You might be worried that the Blew Dogs, those rotten pieces of cowardly counterrevolutionary scum, those moderates, might panic and screw up your expropriation of the health care and insurance industries. But the cracked Red Granny knows better. She knows the Blew Dogs for what they are. Doesnt their name imply that they're game for any kinky tricks a Speaker might want them to pull? Didnt they name their caucus Blew Dogs to make Nan feel like the whole country was getting in touch with the lifestyles of the Frisconstituents who inflict this raging, destructive, Stalinist menace on a helpless nation every two years?

You can fool everybody else in life but your old Granny knows the truth about you, doesnt she? And what does Nutsy Pelosi know that doesnt seem to be obvious to anyone else. Its so obvious. It should be something that everyone knows, as common in the culture as the knowledge that that SUV that just cut me off in traffic because its driver is on the phone is killing the planet. And that fact is this; the Blew Dogs are lying about being moderates. If you take Ben Nelson and relocate him to Santa Monica he's to the left of Henry Waxman and Barbara Boxer. THERE ARE NO MODERATE DEMOCRATS! None of them. Not a single one.

Yes the Blew Dogs throw their honor and credibilty away every election time as they make pious noises about balanced budgets and not raising taxes but when they get back to The Big Town they're ready to join in the redistributionistic fun with both hands. They are on board for the agenda. Where Barry and all the other libs doubt them is on the guts level. Will they crawl to the right to protect their phatassed jobs from the Bible-banging, gun-toting rednecks back home. If you get those 'family values' critters too riled up you'll end up kicked out of office with a lot more time to spend with your canine. You'll be exiled from home and entombed in a Fairfax County Think Tank $300k per year coffin trying to get commentator spots on late-night CNN. Its the nightmare of every political hack.

Nancy must have read HL Mencken's warning to look for the flyspecks on the souls of anyone who considers making politics his life's work. Politics is not the occupation of an honest man, or woman, these days. Arent the Blew Dogs living proof of that? How can you expect strength of character from people who wont even state their real views when they face their constituents? Let's be frank--these guys are pathologically lying weasels. They are to the Health Scare fight what the Italians or Romanians were in WW2, the soft underbelly that invites an enemy attack.

But when it comes right down to it, when Nancy refers back to one of the favorite philosophers of all of us glowing 1960's middle-class idiot radicals, the Great Helmsman will inspire her to Look At The Red Sun Rising In The East and order the human wave attack on the retreating Capitalists. If a few fall they'll get their rewards once the class-enemy has been throttled by the righteous hands of the Revolution. They know that. Their career doesnt end if a bunch of Teabaggers take their electoral revenge, the Party will always take care of its own.

So we can count on the Blew Dogs taking the fall and voting for that horrible monstrousity of a Health Scare bill. They're leftists. They can look at the Big Picture. The Big Picture is not electoral success but Total Power, the end of elections and listening to people too stupid to have studied at Stanford or Brown. The Peoples Democracy of Chavez and Fidel (with a swell Gubmint Health System like in Cuba!) will correct the errors and omissions of the so-called Founding Fathers and for every Blew Dog who falls in battle there will be plenty a phat cushy sinecures with free-flowing wines and beautiful secretaries, willing to do anything to not join the starving masses huddling in their unheated, dimly-lit shacks, fighting for space on the broken-down buses, dreaming of a worldly paradise that now only the top officials will enjoy...

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Tiberius' Spider

I'm the kind of a nerd that rewatches my dvds of 'I Claudius' on a regular basis. I'm a classic History Channel geek. I'm not allowed the have the Military Channel on the TV in the living room until my wife goes to bed. This armchair general retreats when confronted with an adversary that tough. Like a whole bunch of other people I've encountered in my life I've read hundreds of books, fiction and non-fiction about history. I can always tell when someone does the same. Its like an underground. We discover each other.

You see, people shun us. We like to talk about the first day of Gettysburg, the Flavian Emperors, the Coolidge Administration and the fighting in the Iron Triangle. The books by the Old Dead White Guys, long banned and forgotten by the educators who run our schools, lefties all, are some of our favorite books. I was being invited to a Civil War reenactment by one of my friends and noticed the look of absolute shock on the face of a thirty year old colleague who blundered in to the conversation. It was as if we were proposing a unicyle race down Wilshire Boulevard at rush hour clad in red satin clown suits with propeller beanies on our heads. This person, possessing a bachelor's degree from a leading university, when asked to guess when the Civil War occurred was fifty years off in her guess. Anything that happened before the Berlin Wall fell was a complete mystery to her. An Obama voter.

When we History Geeks get together we do engage in some odd practices. We whip out our 'context' and we compare the present with the past. We apply the knowledge that we didnt get a degree for, the stuff that we learned because we were curious and interested in more than the most immediate local things that affect us directly, to what is going on now. To the non-history person the past is just formless nostalgia, but to us the monetary crisis that preceded the French Revolution is relevant. Very relevant.

Just the other day I was working with 'I Claudius' playing on the dvd player on my desk and there came the scene where Tiberius has discovered that Sejanus, the commander of the gaurd, was plotting to murder him. His nephew Caligula presents him with a solution and he glows with joy.

Tiberius: Gaius Caligula I shall make you my successor! I shall set you on Rome's shoulder like a poisonous spider!
Caligula: Is that some kind of a joke, Uncle?
Tiberius: Not now, but it will be!"

Dont you kind of picture George W Bush saying something like that as he watched that poisonous spider of an Obama paralyze the opposition and creepy-crawl towards the fat fly of the Presidency? Because, whether you're a history geek or not George W Bush is looking better and better in the rear view mirror with his 4.5% unemployment and his $250 billion dollar deficit. Yeah, he started coming unglued when Nutsy Pelosi and Harry 'Uriah Heep' Reid took over the Congress but Bush at his absolute worse towers over that utopian pipsqueek who weaves his webs in his Shelob's Lair of an Oval Office.

Bush had more class. He was smarter. He was better read. He had better manners. I was always angry at him politically but there was one thing you could never fault Bush on; that giant monstrosity that is the Federal Government ran like a top. The proof of that is the phony Katrina-mania. Somehow the cowardly Mayor weeping and having a nervous breakdown and the confused and panicked incompetent Governor in a state of paralysis as the mighty storm approached was turned into a crusade against Bush, the head of the only sector of the government that functioned as it was supposed to. They needed that propaganda 'scandal' because they couldnt find any real ones in the Bush Administration. The boring drabs in the W Administration did their jobs without incurring a raft of investigations and felony charges. The Clinton and now Obama Administrations are a different story.

The incompetence and malfeasance of this bunch of greedy, shameless amoral leftists is sickening. Their open support of ACORN, a criminal organization devoted to subverting our electoral and economic systems says it all. They even pretended to defund it and then reinserted the refunding into an unrelated bill. The pious Green Obamunists oppose offshore oil drilling...unless its a subsidy for a Soros-dominated group to drill off the coast of Brazil. That doesnt wreck the climate.

If you look back on my blog you will see that my early criticisms of Obama were based on the fact that he was an empty suit. His answers in the first debates were laughable. Even surrounded by ignoramuses of the first water (Biden, Clinton, Dodd) his answers were startling in their vacuity. The Empty Suit. He has no skills or talents of any kind. His overrated speaking skills have shown to be completely ineffective as the HealthScare legislation stalls and dissolves into chaos. His leadership skills are so lacking that he has bet all his political capital on one issue and then turned the execution of that issue completely over to Nutsy Pelosi and Harry 'Uriah Heep' Reid. He's a Nobel Prize winning joke all over the world. He wasnt a joke during the campaign but he is now.

Imagine the happiness of W! His predecessor was a gushing redneck speed liar responsible for the Fannie-Freddie disaster who had a well-publicized case of Satyriasis and his successor is so completely inept that even his attempts to destroy the country are failing in a political trainwreck that looks like it might take the entire Democratic Party down with him. The Dems can use all the doubletalk they like to explain away yesterday's electoral meltdown but it was a strong, angry vote of no confidence in the current course.

The incredibly disappointing loss in NY23 should make the rebels against Obamunism stop and consider whether their approach was too strident to have any appeal in fervently blue states. The Obamunist juggernaut has not been derailed. It has been stalled on the tracks. If Obama had any leadership skills he would be out, as Bill Clinton would have been, proclaiming total victory with a smile and a knowing wink. But that crowd-pleasing chicanery is far from the soul of Mr. Teleprompter; it came natural to BJ Clinton. The spokesholes are out spinning that 'the voters still want change' but a line like that only works when El Presidente says it right into the camera with a devilish smile that lets us know he doesnt think we're that stupid, that lets us all in on the joke.

Thats good damage control but thats all BJ boiled down to, damage control. Damage control is easy when you have a Congress that is cutting capital gains taxes and balancing the budget, when unemployment is low and inflation is 2%. Barry has a tougher job of spinning. His line blaming Bush has worn thin. Its a sign of how clueless the Obamunist Radicals are that they dont get that people want to know what the hell they are doing that will reingnite the economy. Or why they keep hearing that the Obamunists dont want to reignite the economy. The reality of the anti-business, anti-consumer, anti-capitalist rhetoric emerging from the elitists in the administration and Congress is starting to sink in.

So W can sit back on his ranch and watch with glee. The annoying, unwashed protesters have all gone away, to camp out in front of Nutsy Pelosi's office because she's not far enough to the left. W wont have to worry about his legacy. We havent seen the worst of Obama by any means. This could even be the end of a Golden Age and the beginning of an age of sloth and decline. Historians will point to the misguided direction taken by Obama, not Bush. The joke is on us.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Dirigible Down!

When I was a little kid my father drove us over to Lakewood New Jersey to meet Hemingway. No, not that Hemingway! His brother Lester. He wrote a book about his famous brother and made a bunch of money doing it. He took the money, all of it, and hired a bunch of barges, loaded them with rocks and dumped them in the ocean off Jamaica in a shallow spot in international waters. The rocks emerged from the surface of the ocean and the resulting island was declared to be the Republic Of New Atlantis. Lester lived in his run-down clapboard house near the naval base on the proceeds of the sales of New Atlantis stamps to stamp collectors. The currency of New Atlantis was called Scruples because Lester averred that a man could never have enough Scruples. My father was Secretary Of State.

I remember this little incident because, as we drove past the Lakehurst Naval Air Station my father pointed out to us the mouldering skeleton of the Hindenburg, the hydrogen-filled dirigible that burst into flames in the 1930's. What a monument to human folly! The image of the burning blimp falling to the ground, people running from it to avoid the spreading flames was one of my earliest media memories. Even the mighty Adolph could be brought to ground by a tiny spark under the right conditions.

It was a memory I thought I had suppressed until yesterday, until I saw the Scuzzyfuzzy campaign in NY23 crash, burning on the political landscape, National Republiclowns running for their lives from the spreading flames. As fat and ponderous as Von Hindenburg was he was nothing compared to the bulbous Scuzzyfuzzy. At least Von Hindenburg won the Battle Of Tannenburg whereas Scuzzyfuzzy couldnt even lead a decent assault on Watertown.

What had gone wrong? The Republiclowns had picked someone who was deep on the inside. There was that stupid Conservative Party guy but who cares? This is a two-party system. Isnt it? Now Scuzzyfuzzy is in favor of taxpayer-funded abortion and gay marriage, so, excuse me, who cares? Havent we all had enough of those Christian Terrorists trying to impose their crackpot views on everybody? How dare those God-drunk zealots insist that the Welfare State cheapens human life! Show me some evidence! Anyway, this is a Big Tent Party so all this social conservative trivia isnt going to slow down the Scuzzyfuzzy juggernaut, now is it?

But it turns out the the high-sailing blimp of a Scuzzyfuzzy was also in favor of Obamacare, Card-Check and Crap-On-Trade. She's married to a Union Boss. At this point you could hear the hydrogen starting to leak from the bags into the canvas covered interior of the blimp. But the party continued as the SS Scuzzyfuzzy floated toward the victory landing pad. Newt, Michael Steel and all the guys were standing by to grab the ropes and lead the Scuzzyfuzzy into a comfortable tiedown just down the hall from Nutsy Pelosi's office.

Then she had to endorse Hoffman, the Conservative Party candidate. Yes. you know who we're talking about. That Palin woman. The Gubmint Media thought they had finished her off, run her out of office and sent her back to the Letterman Show for dismemberment. The National Republiclowns breathed a sigh of relief. I mean, can we be honest? Five kids? Moose shooting? Offshore drilling? Lowering taxes? Who do we know that talks like that, that is so terminally unchic? She was hurting the Party amonst the right people. No one who has graduated from a decent university would even think of aiming a gun at some poor innocent animal. Five kids? That's like the Duggers or something. Its a freak show. A Carbon Calamity. Lowering taxes? Thats just a white racist assault on the poor, pure and simple. Offshore drilling? So Ungreen! I mean really! Its not just Dummy-crats who feel that way but the Inside The Beltway Republiclowns would agree. This Palin broad is just some trailer-park trollop who will only end up stirring up the Neanderthals to no good end.

So, up in the stratosphere there were more than one prominent Republiclown passengers happily desporting themselves in the gondola beneath the SS Scuzzyfuzzy. Most prominent was the always overeager Newt. Is he running for something or does he have another insipid faux history book coming out? After his Global Warming commercial with Nutsy Pelosi you'd think the guy would be a little bit gun shy (especially around Palin) but come on guys, this is Watertown. Nobody's ever gonna know!

And then Palin struck. A tiny spark, a comment on her Facebook page. Everyone in upstate New York who had gone to the better schools, who had power and influence laughed it off until the rubes reacted to the sneering contemptous reports in the Gubmint Media by traveling to Disgraced Former Governor Palin's Facebook page to find out what she had against Republiclown Scuzzyfuzzy.

It turns out that those are the same things we ALL have against ALL the Republiclowns! That thing is just one thing and that is very simple to explain. They're LIBERALS! We're Conservatives and they are our enemies. We dont want to be bi-partisan with them, we dont want to compromise with them. We certainly dont want to support them because they have an 'R' after their names instead of a 'D'.

And what difference does it make? As the Scuzzyfuzzy blimp headed for the tarmac, flames shooting from every gap in the canvas, Newt, Steele, Mutt Romney and various other libs running for their political lives, Scuzzyfuzzy did what she could to make the resulting crash even more explosive. This lib has endorsed the Dummy-craptic candidate! That's taking crossing the aisle a bit far and rips the mask off the other belly-crawling Republiclowns. They're just a big bunch of libs. They agree with Nutsy Pelosi more than they agree with us. We sat there for eight years while these jerks had majorities we handed them and refused to stem the growth of the cancer that is eating our country. Even the easy stuff like offshore drilling was ignored in the race to outspend the Dummy-craps.

The Republiclowns have turned into a tame 'opposition' party like the ones that dictators keep around to show everybody how free their political system is. They're onboard for the Total State agenda and thats why we are where we are. The Republiclowns are as clueless as the Dummy-craps. They are blind to what is happening in the country. The Age Of Obama has ripped the moderate mask off all the liberal-radical lies and shown the true direction that these idiots are taking our formerly free formerly prosperous country in.

Do the Republiclowns think we were OK with McLame, a stumbling liberal foisted on us by a creepy political sleight-of-hand? Or Dummy Hastert? Or even most of W Bush? Guess again you fools! NY23 should show you dopes where people are at, and if you think that you can gerrymander another McLame into the driver's seat in 2012 you've got another thing coming. We are furious and we have a leader. Yes, its that moose-shooting, non-Yale-educated dummy Sarah Palin. Somehow she has been on the right side of every political controversy that has arisen in the Age Of Obama. Through all the Gubmint Media fluff her one remark about Death Panels rang true and alerted seniors to their likely fate under ObamaCare. In 2007 we looked at the pack of slimy, lying weasels on the Republiclown debate platform and gagged. In 2011 there will appear on the stage someone who has been right for years, even when it is unpopular. She has won every argument and even humiliated the creepy varmint Letterman. She strung that pervert up like a dead moose and stripped him clean! What a gal!

So, the day before the election, we are standing, looking at the smouldering wreckage of the Scuzzyfuzzy blimp. We pause to remember the political careers which have perished in the holocaust. Newt, Mitt, and all the Across The Aisle Republiclowns who are revealed as people who will readily turn into Dummy-craps to save themselves from US! We are the enemy to these jerks. Now the Dummy-craps are honest about being my enemy and dont bother sending me fake surveys (Your Opinion Is Important To US!) attached to fundraising letters. I feel like sending those clueless Republiclowns a survey back. I want to find out where they're at. I'm dedicated to stopping the Pelosi-Reid-Obama Agenda, how about you Michael Steele? Crawl out of the burning wreckage and tell me you think Global Warming is a hoax designed to scare people into accepting socialism...I cant remember ever hearing you, or any other prominent Republiclown saying that. Palin has.

So now, the humble non-Harvard Graduates of Watertown are poised to send a slap to the bloated face of the megastate, on both the Dummy-crap and Republiclown cheeks. Those idiots in the Statehouses and in DC should pay attention and not label this a random event ginned up by Palin and Rush Limbaugh. It will be hard to do if Corzine loses but the media know how to handle disasters suffered by liberals. They'll report it soberly on Wednesday and it will be gone in a wave of Michael Jackson coverage (or some other Pop Historical Event) that will end any discussion of the Scuzzyfuzzy crack-up. Problem solved, right?

We're still here. We're still just as mad. We're getting madder every day. We wont rest until we stop them and throw down their evil works and fill our country with a renewed sense of purpose, one built on freedom and respect for humanity. We want our country back and our pockets are filled with Scruples that we're ready to use.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Joe Wilson Is Lazy

Come on South Carolinians! Are you serious, sending a lazy clown like Joe Wilson to represent you in Congress? Look at the furor caused by his behavior. He shouted, "You lie!" during an Obama speech. In mitigation some people would point out that he only did it once. That's exactly my point. Was there only one lie in that speech? Of course not! That was an Obama speech...mmm,mmm,mmm! Every point it made, every word, every implication, every time he cleared his throat was a lie aimed at further confusing and bamboozling an increasingly moronic electorate. If Joe Wilson had stood there and yelled, "You lie!" at the end of each sentence that would have been a little more appropriate. But Joe Wilson only yelled it once and then, faced with attacks immediately launched by the Government Controlled Media, issued an apology. He apparently was happy with the rest of the speech, which wasnt any more honest than the illegal alien line that Wilson objected to. After his objection to that one point he then sat happily applauding each new piece of mendacity that leapt in a high-pressure stream from the lips of Obama...mmm,mmm,mmm!

But how can we criticize Wilson for his lack of energy? Even though an amendment barring illegal aliens from collecting benefits from ObamaCare was voted down on a straight party-line vote (Olympia's day off apparently), underlining Obama's egregious lie, we have to notice that Wilson didnt issue the simple statement that this vote called for, one that read 'He lied then and he's still lying'. Well, the Government Controlled Media wouldnt have reported anything so racist and provocative so maybe he just didnt want to waste his breath. But the lack of a statement like this from anyone in the opposition is why we are where we are.

Every word these Democrats speak is a lie. I guess before we criticize Wilson for his lack of enterprise we should look in the mirror and think about all the times we've sat there, listening to some leftist idiot propound on Glow-Bull Warming or George Bush's Evil War, or why turning the health care industry over to the federal government is a great idea, without standing up and yelling, "You Lie!" I do it all the time. I'm afraid of losing my job and infuriating my wife and most of our friends. I mentioned that the UAW was responsible for the demise of GM at a party once, and this is Los Angeles, not Detroit, and was almost physically assaulted by a guy who claimed that it was capitalists and foreign automakers who were responsible...oh yeah, and the Evil Bush Tax Cuts! When he ran out of foolish cliches and couldnt make his point he became irate. But it was obvious that he lied. All the arguments of the left are thin lies that wont stand up for a minute in a rational debate. That's why they get personal and physical immediately and avoid you in the long term. They dont want to be confronted with the thinness of their arguments. Later my wife was furious that I 'caused trouble' with our friends.

Now that the lies are pouring from the left in a torrent is it wrong for the few of us who remain sane to sit back and let them flow past without yelling "You lie!" as each one rears its ugly head? Are we a bunch of lazybones summer soldiers in the war against the left? I dont know, sometimes the PT Barnum line 'Never smarten up a chump' rings in my ears as some happily grinning dope tells me that doubling my electric bill will save the polar bears who are breeding like rats on the expanding polar ice cap to the point where they're achieving a population density similar to coolies in Java. Are you going to look into her lovely eyes and turn her cretinous grin into a scowl of hatred as you break in and state, "You lie!'? No you're not, you're going to grin politely and leave her to her fate, the fate of the citizen of a declining socialist state.

After all, what do I care? In a few years I'll be able to take my wheelbarrow full of worthless Obama-bucks I got when I cashed my permanently extended unemployment benefits check and pay off my fixed rate mortgage so I wont have to move behind the dumpster at Circus Liquors over on Vineland (its where you go when you want to get clown drunk!). I've lived poor and I've lived rough. Fortunately my 'good' years occurred when my kids were small but they're all grown and able to take care of themselves in these increasingly bleak times so all I care about is shelter, a simple diet and my computer. The whole rest of the world can fall into the 'Hope And Change' pit and it wont bother me too much. Your boat got repo'ed and your 401k is worthless? Enjoy the Hope And Change you moron! You should have yelled "You Lie!" when that charlatan was making all his promises. I was wise enough to have spent every penny I got as soon as I got it, making me the perfect victim of Capitalism, a true target for Obamunist solutions that you kiddies will now have to work hard to pay for. I didnt lose a penny in the stock crash and every bank in the country can go broke without bothering me, I wont lose a plugged nickel...well, maybe the plugged nickel which constitutes my current bank balance but I can deal with that. Why should I raise my blood pressure arguing with the people who are going to put in such hard work paying for my rightful Benefits? Maybe we should just wait until we're all sitting in the waiting room of one of the few doctors who will remain in practice after their fees are cut by two thirds, an experience my wife has had, BTW, when my infant daughter became sick on a visit to the UK and was taken to the local GP. Sixty people in the waiting room. We'll have plenty of time for discussions of comparitive economics then, more time than we'll need. Makes you wonder why you dont yell "You lie!" every time some idiot says that cutting doctor's fees in half and adding fifty million people to the system isnt going to result in lines and rationing. We wont have to yell "You Lie!" then.

Right now I take the coward's way out...I yell "You lie!" at my TV set or when the ABC radio newsbreaks happily report some 'fact' that Mark Levin just finished debunking for a half an hour. I post salty comments on Real Clear Politics and The Politico. I went to a Tea Party. I waste my time blogging, sometimes in my pyjamas! But the world doesnt seem to be responding. Have the old verities lost their pull?

Come on now, if we're going to demand honesty in other people we might as well be honest with ourselves. The thing about Capitalism and Freedom is that its hard work. Obamunism is completely passive. All you have to do is sit there and let it happen to you. Yes you have the opportunity to be a success under Capitalism but really, c'mon, who's got the energy for that? Most people want to put in their eight hours at the stupid job they hate and go home and veg out in front of the tube. Each family member with a different TV set. Nirvana. Economy collapsing? Who cares. Its Bush's fault, OK? Of course they're a little peeved when their brother and his family have to move in to their 800 square foot shack because he lost his job and his house and they dont like the twelve dollar a gallon gasoline or the six-hour wait at the doctor's office, they're even more bugged when inflation puts them into the millionaire tax bracket but its all good! Just go with the flow. After all, jumping up and yelling "You Lie!" every few minutes gets a little tiresome after a while.

So maybe we should go a little easy on Joe Wilson as the health care lump slides through the legislative colon, eventually to land on the tops of all our heads. He might even be one of the good guys. In this age of socialist lies and AmeriKKKan decline (a choice according to Krauthammer, who yells "You Lie!" every day on TV) maybe the only way an aging conservative can survive is to connect with our spirit of ingenuity and enterprise, become infused with a new enthusiasm to succeed and move forward, to throw off the chains of sloth and passivity and go out and apply for every single government benefit that is available on the local, state and federal level and pursue them with the zeal and persistence that we would have summoned in the Horrible Capitalist Years in our selfish pursuit of success. Yes we can! And, when we are on the roll for every handout, have swallowed every ounce of the corrupt dishonesty that our left-wing feudal lords can dish out, as the formerly prosperous and happy world we were born into turns into a slough of socialist emptiness and despair we can happily jump up onto our formerly reactionary feet, love of Obama in our hearts and yell, "You lie...and so do I!" We'll only have to do it one time and everything will be just peachy. Really. I'm not lying.

Sunday, October 11, 2009


Its not what you say or even what you do, its how your mere presence makes people feel that counts. You dont have to tell the truth, you just have to seem like you really care. Not sincerity but Sinceritude. Sometimes this TV truth, this hunk of video wisdom, this pop adage lurks beneath the surface of a turbid everyday reality. For example, as the clownish Algore repeats his faith in the hockey-stick temperature graph visions of The Late Medieval Warming and The Little Ice Age flow into our brains until we realize we love the chubby devil because he can say things like 'no controlling legal authority' and 'Bill Clinton is the greatest president in American History' with the same cherubic mongoloid look on his face that he uses to defend the Hockey Stick. None of its right, none of its true, we know that, he probably knows it too but there he is, staring into the camera, never blinking, with that weird grin on his face. Sinceritude.

And what has Sinceritude gotten the egregiously misguided Algore. A thriving business telling people that the money they send him will be used to plant trees whose carbon dioxide absorbing properties will soak up the excess CO2 and save their homes from tidal waves and brush fires. In this age of Green Chumpery that's like a license to print money. Sinceritude. He's probably not even planting trees either but running a chain of Medical Marijuana growhouses where each of the cloned buds are counted as a Carbon Offset. The best thing about Sinceritude is the recognition you receive for it. Algore cannot sing; he has a Grammy. Algore looks like an overripe mandarin orange on TV and stumbles in his delivery; he has an Emmy. Algore knows nothing about filmmaking and cant act; he has an Oscar. Algore's biofuel idiocy has caused world food prices to rise, causing riots and starvation across the globe; he has a Nobel Peace Prize. Does he have a Pulitzer? In all this excitement I kind of forget myself. Its Sinceritude if he does.

But then it happened. Oh yes, it happened in the dead of night, while us unsuspecting citizens were sleeping and dreaming our workaday dreams. I awoke and turned on the television and heard the awful news...Epperson had been dumped from Project Runway. Blonde, Aryan Heidi Klum was handing the tall, charming, dreadlock-wearing Epperson a one-way ticket to designer Palookaville. Auf Weidersehn! Epperson. OK his entry in the Wedding Dress challenge was a total disaster and that shirt-dress monstrosity from last week wasnt any better. But he was so cool about it all! I had been wading through John Bagot Glubb's 'The Empire Of The Arabs' when my wife's watching of DVR episodes of 'Project Runway' lured me away from the madcap antics of the Umaiyad Khalifs in the 8th Century. Go figure.

C'mon, we all know Irina's gonna win. That chick is hot! Razor-sharp and coolly calculating but very lacking in Sinceritude. She wants to win. Epperson just has been cruising through the show, almost forcing everybody to like him. So it turns out he's a zero, a mediocrity. Shouldnt they have given him First Place just because he's an affable, tall, charming, post-racial black guy with Mucho Sinceritude? Its happened before.

So now what, Epperson? Now that Heidi has shot down every dream you ever had how are you going to survive in a country in which, even though the Stimulus Bill, legislation with a lot of Sinceritude, has saved millions of jobs, there is still a paucity of employment opportunities. Where does a young minority male, on the streets with little skill, less enthusiasm, and a provincial and incurious view of the world go to earn his daily bread? Where is a hand reached out to the true owners of Sinceritude? The Illinois Legislature, that's where!

You go sit in the front row of Reverend Jeremiah Wright's church and when he yells 'God Damn AmeriKKKa' you stand up and you yell, "AMEN!" real loud. You hire William Ayres to write you a great autobiography. Soon your feet will be up on the desk, your lovely young assistant standing by, waiting for instructions and you'll be voting 'Present' with the best of them. Politics is way better than dress designing, where I'm told people who have jobs are expected to actually do something from time to time. That'll never happen to a politician with lots of Sinceritude. Look at Charlie Wrangle, he made at least double his measly Congressional salary with his funny real estate transactions and didnt pay taxes on any of it, but he has the Sinceritude to weather the political, racist insinuations lodged against him by the Crackpot Christian Terrorists in their campaign to destroy AmeriKKKa.

So you go for that legislative sinecure Epperson. You never know; a lifetime of phony achievement and total mediocrity if accompanied by a dollop of ruthless ambition and a generous ladleful of Sinceritude can lead a guy to the Nobel Prize at the end of the rainbow. I'm not fooling. Its happened before.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Tragic Death Of Od

Great performers are cursed in these angry times. It seems a wrathful God has it in for those who try to rise above the heads of the common herd. Paul Newmann, thespian and purveyor of salad oil struck down; Michael Jackson, musician and also a purveyor of oily lubricants suddenly snatched from us and now Od, Thailand's best dwarf trapeze artist, perishing in a tragic accident that can only make you wonder if there really is a God or, if there is, why he chooses to be so cruel.

Od was on the top of his game. He had overcome centuries of Thai prejudice that said dwarves could never be the best, could never excel. But Od was the best. He did excel. The audience was in the palm of his stubby little hand. He had fame, he had fortune. he knew he was the master so when he did his triple flip cross-swing the crowd was wowed! Down he flew, onto the trampoline he used to do his dismount, in itself a masterstroke of genius. You got to see a dwarf on the high wire but he wasnt too vain to bounce on a trampoline. Od didnt disdain the simple tastes of the masses, who enjoyed watching dwarfs bounce up and down as much as they loved them swinging and tumbling through the air. But it was this demotic touch that led to his downfall.

Something went wrong. He hit the trampoline at the wrong angle, maybe he was falling too fast, we'll never know because no cameras were present. He bounced, but he didnt bounce straight up in that hilarious dwarf trajectory that audiences had grown to love. He arched. The next act was named Hilda The Hippopotamus. Again one yearns for the presence of a camera. What do you train a hippopotamus to do in a circus anyway? Do they hop up on their back legs or something? This whole circus sounds like it was dreamed up by some mad surrealist impresario who fled The West with its cutsie-pootsie Cirq De Soliel to get back to a more Medieval feel.

Whatever Hilda did during her performance is beside the point because as she waited to go on the bored Hilda gave a gigantic hippo-mouth yawn just as Od came careering off the trampoline. Into Hilda's yawning mouth. She had a gag reflex and swallowed Od. The audience cheered. Od had topped himself this evening, and to be fair, so had Hilda. The people at the circus were upset, there cant be a whole lot of dwarfy trapeze artists running around, certainly none of Od's caliber. It took a while for the crowd to understand what they had witnessed, to realize that Od would not be coming out to take a bow. Ever again.

I'm upset. If those Right-Wingers hadnt blocked Obamacare maybe Od could have been saved! Fortunately ObamaCare doesnt take citizenship into account- we're all citizens of the world after all- and I doubt that there's anything in the legislation wending its way secretly through the back corridors of the House and Senate that says you have to physically be in the United States, either. Of course even under the magically enlightened tenets of ObamaCare this Od situation has some thorny sticking points. Cass Sunstein will of course have added provisions to provide the hapless Hilda with an attorney so that she wont be forced into surgery to alleviate a non-life-threatening condition. Hippos are pretty much vegetarians and its almost certain that a fully-clothed, rhinestone-coated dwarf is going to at least give her a bad case of heartburn but you knife-happy jokers put those scalpels away. Anyway the wait for surgery under ObamaCare might make the whole thing moot by the time its resolved.

But this isnt about ObamaCare, its about how you can be riding high one minute and the next minute you're lower than hippo waste, which I'm told doesnt float. Look at Barry, President Of The World and its Peoples. He gasses up five jets, grabs Oprah and his First Lady and junkets off to Copenhagen to let those EuroTrash lounge-lizards at the IOC know where their next Olympics was gonna be. Him and the Lovely Bride got up to the mikes and delivered a version in which the refrain Me-Me-Me-Me-Me came out so rapidly the drunken sportsmeisters must have thought the Obama's were skat-singing. The IOC had its big, bored hippo-sized mouth open at the time of Obama's speech and the inevitable gag reflex swallowed the Greatest Olympic Pitch Of All Time.

Like Od, Barry Obama is headed for the fertile soup at the bottom of the hippo-pond. At least his poll numbers are headed that way. It turns out that this charming and affable 'Hope And Change' candidate is a stiff, distant, inarticulate and blatantly dishonest radical presiding over an economy where employers are looking at business-gutting legislation that is pending in the house and senate and refusing to hire anyone. The people who voted for his picture on the cover of People Magazine are starting to catch on. You're going to cut Granny's Medicare are you? That sounds expensive for me. Every doctor I know over fifty years old is planning on retiring. The miracle Green Jobs havent materialized. Nothing that people thought these guys were going to do has happened. Instead we got a giant increase in spending and debt and humiliation after humiliation in front of the world. Its not even a year and people are starting to miss Bush.

What's next with this political dwarf? Can he be any more inept? Why are Axelrod and Emmanuel looking more and more like Curly and Larry while we have in the oval office an increasingly long-faced and clueless Moe. I guess we should thank God for Barry's total lack of leadership skills; if he knew what he was doing we would have ObamaCare, Cap And Trade and Card Check by now. Instead the Pelosi-crats passed a trillion-dollar payoff to themselves and threw away any credibility they might have accrued by painting the Bushies as corrupt big spenders. If Barry had any concept of strategy he never would have let Reid and Pelosi pull off a heist like that. Its becoming increasingly clear that neither him or his associates have any clear concept of anything. Harvard grads all. Geniuses. Just like Od was a genius.

Even The President Of The World's vaunted communication skills, always highly overrated, have let him down. He's not a good speaker and now nobody believes him so his delivery doesnt matter anyway. Barry's getting a deer-in-the-headlights look to him. There never was any opposition in Chicago! If somebody was on your team they were on your team, there was none of this blue-dog crap! Even OPRAH doesnt work anymore. Now they're kicking around a 'second stimulus'. Its like a 'second bankruptcy'. Revenues are crashing, and so is Obama's agenda. The Dems just dont understand what went wrong. It must have been the same with Od as he saw that gaping maw of destruction get closer and closer. None of his talent, none of his luck, nothing can stave off your fate once its cast. That goes for everybody, even the President Of The World and all its People.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

C'mon Jake, Its Chinatown

Time for all my blogging pals on Townhall to hate me because I'm going to defend Roman Polanski. I've been reading all the outrage and moral preening from people from every walk of life having a good time screaming about what a perverted freak Polanski is. Just to make sure that all of the solid citizens dont lose their lynch-mob enthusiasm the transcripts of the 1977 case have been released by the prosecutor's office and selectively printed by sensationalist editors so that any jury pool in a future trial will be completely tainted. We're all supposed to imagine that Polanski is some brutal rapist who lured this poor innocent into his evil clutches and defiled her as she fought and protested, weeping at her lost innocence.

Sounds like a rap, huh? Its in the can; this guy's the worst monster to walk the planet since Himmler died. Or maybe not. There are aspects of this case that are either unreported by the media or lost in the phony outrage.

What was she doing over at Polanski's place anyway? Her mother knew she was there. Anyone who is in the film industry knows why she was there. Famous producers, directors, actors, musicians, anyone whose patronage can admit one to the Earthly Paradise that America pays billions of dollars every year to peep at in the tabloids, are approached constantly, at parties, in restaurants, as they walk down the street, everywhere they go, by people desperate to be let in on a piece of The Dream. She was going over to a movie director's house to do 'a photo shoot that would help her career.' I live in Los Angeles and have worked in the film community my entire adult life. I also have two very attractive daughters. If one of them had come to me and told me that they had been invited to a 43 year old movie director's house for 'a photo shoot' I would have immediately contacted this person and insisted on attending this photo shoot. I also would have warned them that if this shoot took place without my permission they could expect the police and the media to be called and a lawsuit to be filed.

Apparently the victim's mother didnt feel that way. She dreamed of the payoff, just like Michael Jackson's little playmate's parents dreamed of the Jacko-pot at the end of the rainbow. Trading your children to powerful men for favors returned is an aspect of human behavior that would turn anyone's stomach but it is much more common than you would think. A good account of it is in Mario Vargas Llosa's 'Feast Of The Goat'. How many women said no to President Billy-goat? Very few. When Angelica Huston turned up at the end of the 'rape' there was no screaming, weeping victim, too terrified to speak and trembling with fear and humiliation. Huston was in the house with them and thought she was just another of the endless stream of chickies that normally buzz around guys like Polanski, guys who can make you a star!

In fact, Angelica's daddy, John Huston, in one of Polanski's greatest films, Chinatown, a film that the victim's mother undoubtedly had seen, speaks this line to Jack Nicholson, whose house the alleged rape was supposed to occur in, "...most people never have to face the fact that in certain situations they're capable of anything." I'm not chased down the street by beautiful women, neither are you. Polanski? The guy who can put you in a starring role that can make you a household name? A cat who can make one phone call and make it all happen? Picasso, an ugly, warty, cruel and old man walked up to a sixteen-year-old Jaqueline Bisset on a street in Paris and told her that he was PICASSO and that she was too beautiful to not be famous. She followed dutifully. Legend has it that Lana Turner was discovered the same way. Marilyn Monroe. The list is endless. I'll bet Samantha Geimer's mother had seen that list, maybe had tried to be on it herself.

And it was the Seventies! Of course thirteen year olds didnt say no to champagne and quaaludes with a famous director. Nobody did. The only amazing thing about that is that they werent also snorting coke. How wasted was Polanski when all this was happening? I dont remember anyone saying. Did you ever see the film 'Boogie Nights'? That was a conservative picture of the scene at the time. In fact, the judge in this case made a deal with Polanski for time served in exchange for a guilty plea. It wasnt looked on as a brutal rape in the context of the time and place. Everyone understood the scene. People in Polanski's position are constantly hit on by wanna-be starlets. Everybody was fairly wasted most of the time. If you gave in to your worst instincts while you were too messed up to resist...well, he admitted his guilt and he had served a couple of months in the slammer; that seemed to be appropriate to the community standards of the time.

Lets also bring up the story of another fan who wanted to be famous, a guy named Charley. Eight years before the Geimer incident took place frustrated wanna-be Charley sent some of his pals over to Polanski's house in Bel Aire. They slaughtered five people and cut Polanski's baby from its mother's womb and stabbed it too. Fans do the darnedest things! Charley got be famous, too. It was worth it to him just like it would have been worth it to Mama Geimer to trade her daughter's body for fame and fortune. What does something like that do to your head? How do you feel about all the desperate wanna-be's when something like that happens to your wife, child and friends? Here's a guy who survived the murder of his entire family during WW2 and lived on the handouts of people who could have turned him in to the Nazis at any time, a person who had to flee the secret police in his own country (his friend Jerzy Kosinski, who wrote a book called 'The Painted Bird' about a child in just that situation missed being in Polanski's house that night in August because of a screwed up plane connection).

How come the people who are howling for Polanski to spend the rest of his life in prison dont want to consider what had possibly led to Polanski's complete lack of judgment in this situation? They dont care that the victim is against him spending any time in jail. How can we let terrorists like Bernadine Dohrn walk away from a cop-killing with a shrug (it was so long ago after all!) and be so angry at Polanski for this trivia. He pled guilty. He showed remorse. The judge who oversaw the plea-bargain double-crossed him. He fled.

So every time you pick up a tab in the supermarket, every 'Hollywood Tonight' show you watch so obsessively, every time the mailman drops this week's People Magazine in your mailbox, every time you close your eyes and imagine yourself looking into the eyes of that lovely young thing and say, 'Play your cards right baby and I can make you a star' you should think of the completely screwed-up lives of the people whose pictures are festooned on the pages of the tabs. Consider how much the people who make their living being your vicarious fantasy objects pay for your obsessive need to transcend your boring workaday life. These arent priests or schoolteachers, they're artists who live extremely hard lives, lives that people with regular jobs and regular paychecks could never in their wildest dreams imagine. They've clawed their way to the top by sheer will, sacrificing everything, friends, family, security, even personal integrity, to get what they've gotten, because they believe in a vision. Before they make it most of their families and friends think they are crazy, that they've wasted their lives. They are crazy! And all of a sudden they go from deadbeats that people avoid to the guy who doesnt have to wait in line at the top restaurant in Beverly Hills, the guy that thirteen-year-old cuties want to do naked photo shoots with. Photographers chase them down the street. Women pant heavily in their presence.

You're real moral right now...if you suggested to a local teenaged cutie that she come over to your house for a topless photo-shoot she would run away in disgust and her parents would either call the cops or get out the revolver and invite you to a different kind of shoot...but then you cant make the little darling a star. She might be able to move to Bev-er-ly! Hills, that its! Swimmin' pools, movie stars! Before you judge Polanski by the same set of rules that apply to America you should just consider that Polanski didnt live in America, he lived in Chinatown.