Sunday, August 31, 2008
Palin On The Fuel
Smart or dumb you have to admit the the Sarah Palin choice of VP nominee shows the cranky old duffer really wants to win BAD! It's an incredible risk, after all. Even though Obama picked a notorious idiot with a head full of chia-pet-looking hair plugs who has an unbroken thirty-six year record of left-wing votes, moronic miscues and tooth-filled grimaces when he is crossed at some committee hearing we're all used to Joe Biden's ineffective irrelevance. One look at Barak Obama tells you that he's not about the keel over any time soon so Biden can just spend the next four years dedicating bridges and going to funerals.
Palin is another story. She is an unabashed Social Conservative, something that has literally never been seen in a national campaign. Even hunters like Dick Cheney are usually seen in Elmer Fudd-looking twee country outfits responsibly holding their shotgun at the safe angle as they quietly stalk mallards in the canebreaks not dressed in cammo intensely aiming an M-16 at some out-of-frame menace. In my neck of the woods horrible rural rednecks who drive snowmobiles real fast through Gaia's peaceful forest spewing Global Warming-causing carbon emissions as they head home for a bowl of moose chili made from the carcass of some poor innocent critter they wasted with their laser-sighted, high-muzzle-velocity state-of-the-art rifle are the dreaded enemy. Having five, FIVE!, children is an act of appalling gaucherie, another rural affectation that shows how extreme Sarah Palin is to us urbanites. She's not Health Club healthy she's Outdoors healthy. She says a lot to NASCAR people but my youngest daughter, a true swing voter going back and forth between her default Dem leanings and her dislike of Obama and his socialism, Palin's social conservative views are a shock. But she certainly will have the same effect on born-again Christians that Obama has on blacks. She will spur a massive and enthusiastic turnout among people who were talking about staying home this time. She helps down-ticket Republican candidates in tight races.
Another thing about Palin is that, unlike the apparently healthful Obama, the Wrinkly Old White Dude (thanks Paris!) has a history of cancer and sometimes turns a bright shade of purple when he's crossed. He could go any day in a cinniption fit or be eaten by a raging melanoma. You have to seriously consider whether Palin has the grit to take on the Presidency; it's a real possibility. That is something she's going to have to prove by getting out on the stump. The enraged libs, furious that McLame has smacked them and knocked them off the stupid 'we're just like you' message that Barak's weak closing speech didn't sell, are going to hit this chick with everything but the kitchen sink. She's everything they really hate. Dickless Cheney.
To add to her list of deviltry in lib eyes is her unabashed association with and advocacy of Big Oil. Drilling gets you pregnant and solves energy crisises and Sarah Palin is obviously a drilling enthusiast. The cause of increasing our nation's production of hydrocarbons will have a sexy and effective spokesperson and that is the issue that will determine this election. Nothing else. The swing group, blue-collar working class types, love their carbon car culture. This weekend, in Southern California, there's a three hundred mile line of Winnebagos, SUVs and pick ups leaving the burbs and heading out to the desert and The River (the Colorado River) towing trailers with dirt bikes, ATVs, Jet-skis and dune buggies filled with the swing voters that McLame and the boys want to get. The kind of people who want to see some ballsy babe take on a pack of sneering elitist Ivy League educated smart boys and whip their butts while she defends every American's God-Given right to internal combustion. Now all she has to do is whip their butts. I'll be watching.