Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Smack My Bishop

"Under fire from U.S. Catholic bishops, Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is not backing off contentious comments about abortion she made during a weekend television talk show appearance."

You bishops better wise up muy pronto! You've been calling Our Nancy a liar and she's starting to get POed. The government so far has let the religion industry go unregulated but Our Nancy might be forced to consider a Fairness Doctrine for religion if you old celibate freaks don't stop questioning the doctrine of Speakeral Infallibility. I don't think that an excessive reliance on so-called 'rights' that you think are in our Living Constitution (when does a Constitution have a life of it's own? When does it start?) is going to protect your insolent insistence that two thousand years of pretty consistent Catholic opposition to abortion adds up to an established Church Doctrine. Our Nancy is not amused by a group of people who use that 2000 year-old-policy shtick to justify barring women from top slots in the Holy Catholic Corporation. The Stained Glass Ceiling. Your 'church' has been making massive windfall profits by pretending that St. Augustine, Jesus, Pope Gregory VI, John The Baptist and St. Paul have some kind of quibble with a woman exercising her Right To Choose. Just as the Founding Fathers...ooops, the Founding Persons, wrote a Constitution that included rights to sodomy, gay marriage, abortion, pornography and government management of all aspects of human existence are we to think that the founders of Christianity were any less Progressive?
Of course they endorsed abortion, and they wanted the state to pay for it. The Pharisees were just a group of angry Right-Wing sexists as was Constantine when he got the Bible rewritten to reflect his brutal Pro-life views. In the Roman Empire babies were regularly abandoned to die just after birth, a practice in keeping with the views of Barak Obama and the idea that the early Christians (including You-Know-Who) had some kind of problem with it is just a canard that Our Nancy refuses to play along with. You GO girl! There is irrefutable evidence that babies, (carbon-based life forms) cause Global Warming and some of us, including Our Nancy, are trying to save the planet! Its laughable to listen to people talking about some kind of cheapening of human life that supposedly has occurred since the Wise Justices (there's some Black Robed guys Our Nancy can get behind) revealed that Our Living Constitution doesn't allow any democratic debate on the subject of abortion. So now they want to debate it again! What are these zany right-Wingers going to come up with next? Maybe something about the Pride of our first woman Speaker going before some kind of 'fall' or some kind of treasonous talk like that.
It's not like Our Nancy doesn't have some options here. Henry Waxman is putting together a committee right now to haul those black-robed troublemakers in front of the cameras and work them over. He'll make those sanctimonious buzzards sweat! They better start thinking about the carbon emissions that occur when their misguided congregants drive their SUVs to 'worship' in church. Churches filled with power-guzzling incandescent light bulbs, heated in many cases by oil-burning furnaces and cooled by electricity-gobbling air conditioners. What a waste of non-renewable fossil fuel resources! The EPA could get involved in this and strictly apply our new Global Warming criteria to this egregious use of fossil fuel to push Right-Wing climate-debauching bigotry. They want to talk about the 'sanctity' of human life or the 'sanctity' of marriage or even the 'sanctity' religious belief but they're pretty danged silent when the 'sanctity' of the Planet is brought into the picture.
They think some 'God' controls the weather instead of the Wise Policies put into place by Our Nancy; what superstitious arrogance! After the election we'll be funding some Climate Sensitivity Training Camps so these reactionaries can get their minds right. Waterboarding is wrong when you do it to Muslims but its a useful tool for eliminating error in the confused minds of these so-called Christians. These Counterrevolutionary Climate Criminals will be happily stamping on the antiquated 'cross' and learning to pray to the three-pronged renewable-energy-generating windmill by the time Commissar Of Theology Wright and his team of Liberation Theologians apply a little Revolutionary Persuasion to update the cosmologies of these reprobates so they can learn to appreciate the Wisdom of Our Nancy!

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