Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Robo Calls

Because I live in SoCal, where TV ad time is mega expensive, we've been spared the onslaught that makes the helpless residents of smaller states curse their TV sets and yearn for a one-party dictatorship. Only one of the remaining candidates, Obamarama, has the dough to buy air time around here. We have had a vigorous campaign on the air but its got nothing to do with anything as trivial as the presidency.
We've had warring Indian tribes fighting it out nightly across our TV screens. Now before you picture Geronimo breaking an arrow in half and going for his scalping knife let me add a little more info. These Indians are fighting about that ancient Indian custom that directs some tribes to build giant gambling casinos. There are four tribes that have somehow have maneuvered themselves into a monopoly of Indian casinos who are being opposed by the poker parlors and casinos in Nevada. Now the four tribes Pachonga (modern name ChaChinga), Morongo (Moron-Go), Agua Caliente (Hot Water), Sycuian (Sick Ones) want to install thousands of additional slot machines in their casinos and have been forced to come back to the voters for permission. So we have a procession of teary eyed children, weeping teachers and OF COURSE many messages from the Noble Firefighters. These slot machines are all that stands between our beloved state and bankruptcy (and all-consuming brush fires, it would seem). I had no idea slot machines were such a force for good in the world. Well maybe. Then theres the ads from the deprived Indians, the locked out tribes, crushed under the harsh wheels of injustice. Why even people as noble and self-sacrificing as Firefighters oppose them! These poor wretches will be permanently consigned to a living death if those rich tribes get all the slot machine money for themselves. I had no idea that slot machines were such a force for evil in the world. Amazing that these poverty-stricken aborigines have more cash to buy political ad time than all the presidential candidates put together. But its an easy choice. The Jerkinator is for the propositions and he's backing McLame so it must be wrong, so I'm voting NO!
So what do campaigns do in the absence of cash? They use free media, impossible for McLame because he, like Hillary Clinton, has now told so many lies that answering any question from someone who has been following his statements is fraught with risk. Or they phone your house with pre-recorded messages. McLame wrote a piece of legislation that instantly admits every illegal alien to the Welfare State goodie bag giveaway party, gives Mexico a veto over any border enforcement measures, hands over driver's licenses and other documentation that one could use to register to vote and basically signals to another hundred million people that the door is open, so you could say he's got a slight problem in that area with most conservatives. Or so I thought until I got the robo-call warning me that Mitt Romney is a distant relative of Pancho Villa and is just waiting to turn the country over to Mexico. McLame weak on social issues? The robo-call tells me what a low-down baby-killer that Mitt Romney is. McLame voted against the Bushy Tax Cuts and wants to add a fifty-cent a gallon tax on gasoline to fight Man-Made Global Warming? The robot says Mitt wants to tax me out of my home and sell my children to the Arabs. All stupid and transparent lies.
If I hadnt been so disgusted and enraged by McLame before I would have become disgusted and enraged by this kind of behavior. This Clintonesque behavior. In a way it doesnt even matter. These primaries have shown me that conservatives are wrong. The majority of people in American want an interventionist government. They want economic planning by the state. They want the government to run the health-care system. They are isolationist and hate free trade. They want to drive cars but dont want to drill for oil. The proof of all this is that Republicans are voting for these policies. Republicans arent looking at the results of similar policies that have been enacted in other countries. After 70 years of the New Deal the fiber of this society has finally rotted away, waiting to be replaced with a European Welfare State. But we are not Belgium or Greece. Our decline in the world will be matched by the rise of other societies who will have different priorities. The world will be different and we will be just another poverty-stricken, broken-down country, with even our former glory erased from our minds by the Ministry Of Truth.

No comments: