Monday, May 5, 2008

Boris For President!

"It is said that the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving picaninnies; and one can imagine that Blair, twice victor abroad but enmired at home, is similarly seduced by foreign politeness. They say he is shortly off to the Congo. No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in Watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird."

"The proposed ban on incitement to “religious hatred” make no sense unless it involves a ban on the Koran itself."

"Not even Mr Blair has been able to erode the unions conviction that we all have a “right” to a minimum wage… Both the minimum wage and the Social Charter would palpably destroy jobs."

"No one obeys the speed limit except a motorised rickshaw."

"My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters."

"Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3."

How often have we sat cursing and mumbling at our TV screens, our wives, children and pets consciously avoiding coming into our field of vision, even the very potted plants huddling with stomas puckering waiting for Daddy to explode into one of his Right Wing Bug Eyed RANTS! waiting for some politician or even commentator to say something that shows some feeling, some life, some common sense-- something that was wasnt pre-thought-out and tailored not to insult the most crotchety and sensitive lame-brain who might happen to be watching? Look at the quotes above. That's not some nut whose blog I think you might enjoy, this dude just got elected Mayor Of London! Thats probably the equivalent to being elected Governor of California in this country. Maybe better.
I had no idea the Conservative Party still existed in Britain. The last I remember of them that chinless half-wit David Cameron was being quoted agreeing with the Labour Minister For Health that fat people and smokers should be denied medical treatment by the National Health Service because their bad health was self-inflicted. Of course this was just a ruse to cover up the fact the the NHS is suffering from terminal bureaucracy and is on the Death Watch list itself. Neither party wanted to discuss that, it might lead someone to suggest that some sort of bold action be taken, a thought that strikes fear into the hearts of craven politicos the world over; but they're happy to blame the innocent victims of their incompetence and chide them for smoking a pack of heavily-taxed cigarettes or eating a box of Cheeze-its. I cant wait for National Health in this country.
But now, like a breath of fresh air, comes Boris! If he manages to Rudy-fy London, reduce the muggings and burglaries, and thwart the anti-carbon Trotskyites from totally banning the internal combustion engine from the city limits, Boris has a shot at being Prime Minister. But not if we act FAST! You see Boris, interestingly enough, was born in New York City (just like me) so that means that he's eligible to run for President in this country! Imagine the things he would say, things that haven't been said in public for years. Things that that milquetoast of a Bushy and that soggy liberal cracker of a McLame haven't thought to themselves in their wildest dreams let alone said on camera. A real conservative, who wasnt apologizing at every turn; who would take the war to the socialist enemy and grind their noses in a century of failure. I know its only a distant dream but maybe the worm is turning. Guys like Boris Johnson in the UK and Sarkozy in France are beginning to at least fight back a little. So far Sarkozy has run into a brick wall of recipients ready to commit hari-kiri to protect their sacred benefits but the ongoing collapse of the French economy is pressing reform forward. This could give us hope, if it ends well. If it ends badly, if the socialists let the ship sink before they'll agree to reforms, then we're in for an equally bad time with our pack of Stalinists.
So lets invoke the Patriot Act, seize Boris and fly him back here, find some way to depose McLame and run with a real conservative...someone who wouldnt have let Hillary's remark to O'Rielly that she was going to sue OPEC to lower oil prices get by without being heaped with the scorn a remark that insanely stupid and disconnected with reality deserves. A Leader to save us from the Socialist Night which is descending and deepening with every passing primary.

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