Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Orator In Chief
So, jaw thrust out in typical socialist fashion like Fidel or Hugo, our 'slightly-left-of-center' Maximum Leader proposed government regulation of banker's salaries and policies that would amount to the quasi-nationalization of the banks, blamed the now effectively nationalized auto companies' problems on their feeble management and not on the predatory unions which have crippled The Big Three and now the taxpayers with endlessly increasing labor costs, declared his intention to nationalize health care and proclaimed his desire to invest trillions converting to the most expensive, unreliable energy sources in his Quixotic quest to bring the weather under the control of the State. A nice evening's work for our 'slightly-left-of-center' Caudillo. The markets are only down 150 points so far this morning but give them time to mull over the Stalinist nature of his proposals; stocks will soon be as worthless as the currency we have to buy them with.
This is good. The Wall Street types who were so groovy and voted Green deserve, like modern-day Phineuses, to have every penny of their Capitalist loot striped from their pudgy fingers by these Marxist harpies before it reaches their famished offshore accounts. We can all smile in anticipation when we think of the Cuba-style health care we're about to receive. After all, didn't Michael Moore say it was so much better? Thank goodness we're getting 'slightly-left-of-center' policies, like Hugo or Fidel, instead of 'really-left-of-center' ones like Pol Pot or Kim Jong Il.
And werent we all charmed by the coyote-faced visage of Comrade Pelosi in her green, padded Mao-style jacket leaping up like some Red Guard, driven to ecstasy by the sonorous words of The Great Helmsman Of Change as each new outrage against our misguided country fell from his lips? She was so deliriously happy when The Master Of Change denounced the private aircraft of the bankers it almost wiped out the memory of her gigantic tantrum that the Speaker's private jet was unsuitably small. Did Newt have a government-provided 747 at his fingertips? Dummy Hastert just had a U-Haul with its own self-contained forklift but I think the glitzy corporate-style jet is a perk invented by our plastic-faced Nancy Of The House. She came across like a glassy-eyed Moonie on mushrooms as the seemingly endless list of government programs and tax increases droned on and on.
Obama even turned to Vice President Slow-Joe and threatened to unleash him on the world as though that confuddled dummy was anything but a world-champion embarrassment. The phony smile that Slow-Joe gave The Magnanimous One as he received his tiny dollop of attention from Our National Parent oozed with insincerity. Its amazing to see the level of palpable hatred that apparently has grown up between these two because Doofus-Boy cant keep onto the script. If looks could kill...
Hey, and did you guys know that parents were important to their children's education? It is, I swear to God, Obama said it and its true. We'll need a wave of parental concern and responsibility to offset the trillion or so that BHO is promising as payoffs to the Education Beaurocrats so they can convert more science classes to the teaching of Climate Change religion, more history classes to the instruction in the Evil History Of Genocidal America and similar revisions in other subjects. Luckily the modern student has long-since abandoned any interest in the propagandistic pablum the Educrats are attempting to spoon down their unreceptive throats and are mainly engaged in texting each other semi-literate salacious messages on their Blackberries.
As The Great Medicator bragged that he has already added 11 million children to the Medicaid rolls and threatened to press-gang the rest of us into the tender mercies of a State-run medical system there were loving cutaways to the walking corpse of Darth Vader Ginsburg. Maybe after she kicks the bucket (any day now by the looks of her) she can become our first ACORN Justice and continue to vote on the court in the spirit of Fairness and Equity. If corpses can vote in Philadelphia and Minneapolis why not on The Court? Gee, after all the happy Dick Cheney heart-attack jokes we've been hearing for the last eight years and the endless prayers by the left for Clarence Thomas to have a coronary you would think Ms. Vader-Ginsburg's would provoke as much levity as fat Teddy's malignant brain, but apparently not.
The Mighty Barak even told a funny joke when he described the Stimulus Bill as 'earmark-free'! I almost swallowed my tongue. How stupid do these Marxists think we are? It was one big, fat trillion buck earmark. In fact the main impression this speech gave was its highlighting of Obama's tenuous connection to the truth. Doublethink. To enjoy this speech you had to ignore the nature of our trillion-dollar Stimulus Swindle and forget everything that Obama had ever said in the past. Will people ever catch on to this nonsense?
But then we had the Republican response. Sadly disappointing. Bobby Jindal might be great in policy and philosophy but he sure needs to hone his speechification skills. His weedy voice and the phony emphasis that came across as totally contrived were grating after the velvet tones of our Marxist Master. The Governor Of Louisiana lacked passion and fire, as though he was secretly worried that his words would contribute to Global Warming if they sizzled too much. I lost track of what he was saying really quickly. Oh well, he's got four years to practice and maybe people will be sick of demigogery by then. Maybe not.
So we now have a precis for the agenda of the mega-leftists who now completely control the entire government; executive, judicial, legislative on the local, state and federal levels. Obama has outlined the targets that the jackals are going for in this still-sunny period before the national bankruptcy overwhelms our will for ever more government economic destruction. He slipped a word in about his Cap and Trade tax scheme; wait until that one is unveiled,then you'll see how markets can tank and capital can flee! The last scraps of wealth will be stripped away from this country's citizens, every shred of hope torn from the breasts of our children, every enterprise crushed, our currency worthless, our hospitals filthy and broken, our borders open, the parasites fattening on the thinning blood of their dying host and all opposition expunged by a brutal and heartless radical government. The New Age Of Hope And Change!
Once two men in Russia were having and argument. They sought out the Most Wise Rabbi in the world to settle the issue between them.
"My friend here agrees with Trotsky and thinks that socialism should be built everywhere in the world but I agree with Comrade Stalin that socialism can only be built in one country. Who is right?"
The Wise Rabbi thought deeply for a while and then replied, "My friends, Comrade Stalin is right, socialism can only be built in one country...but to live in that country, impossible!"
The Marxists gave the author of that joke ten years in a concentration camp.