Monday, November 2, 2009
When I was a little kid my father drove us over to Lakewood New Jersey to meet Hemingway. No, not that Hemingway! His brother Lester. He wrote a book about his famous brother and made a bunch of money doing it. He took the money, all of it, and hired a bunch of barges, loaded them with rocks and dumped them in the ocean off Jamaica in a shallow spot in international waters. The rocks emerged from the surface of the ocean and the resulting island was declared to be the Republic Of New Atlantis. Lester lived in his run-down clapboard house near the naval base on the proceeds of the sales of New Atlantis stamps to stamp collectors. The currency of New Atlantis was called Scruples because Lester averred that a man could never have enough Scruples. My father was Secretary Of State.
I remember this little incident because, as we drove past the Lakehurst Naval Air Station my father pointed out to us the mouldering skeleton of the Hindenburg, the hydrogen-filled dirigible that burst into flames in the 1930's. What a monument to human folly! The image of the burning blimp falling to the ground, people running from it to avoid the spreading flames was one of my earliest media memories. Even the mighty Adolph could be brought to ground by a tiny spark under the right conditions.
It was a memory I thought I had suppressed until yesterday, until I saw the Scuzzyfuzzy campaign in NY23 crash, burning on the political landscape, National Republiclowns running for their lives from the spreading flames. As fat and ponderous as Von Hindenburg was he was nothing compared to the bulbous Scuzzyfuzzy. At least Von Hindenburg won the Battle Of Tannenburg whereas Scuzzyfuzzy couldnt even lead a decent assault on Watertown.
What had gone wrong? The Republiclowns had picked someone who was deep on the inside. There was that stupid Conservative Party guy but who cares? This is a two-party system. Isnt it? Now Scuzzyfuzzy is in favor of taxpayer-funded abortion and gay marriage, so, excuse me, who cares? Havent we all had enough of those Christian Terrorists trying to impose their crackpot views on everybody? How dare those God-drunk zealots insist that the Welfare State cheapens human life! Show me some evidence! Anyway, this is a Big Tent Party so all this social conservative trivia isnt going to slow down the Scuzzyfuzzy juggernaut, now is it?
But it turns out the the high-sailing blimp of a Scuzzyfuzzy was also in favor of Obamacare, Card-Check and Crap-On-Trade. She's married to a Union Boss. At this point you could hear the hydrogen starting to leak from the bags into the canvas covered interior of the blimp. But the party continued as the SS Scuzzyfuzzy floated toward the victory landing pad. Newt, Michael Steel and all the guys were standing by to grab the ropes and lead the Scuzzyfuzzy into a comfortable tiedown just down the hall from Nutsy Pelosi's office.
Then she had to endorse Hoffman, the Conservative Party candidate. Yes. you know who we're talking about. That Palin woman. The Gubmint Media thought they had finished her off, run her out of office and sent her back to the Letterman Show for dismemberment. The National Republiclowns breathed a sigh of relief. I mean, can we be honest? Five kids? Moose shooting? Offshore drilling? Lowering taxes? Who do we know that talks like that, that is so terminally unchic? She was hurting the Party amonst the right people. No one who has graduated from a decent university would even think of aiming a gun at some poor innocent animal. Five kids? That's like the Duggers or something. Its a freak show. A Carbon Calamity. Lowering taxes? Thats just a white racist assault on the poor, pure and simple. Offshore drilling? So Ungreen! I mean really! Its not just Dummy-crats who feel that way but the Inside The Beltway Republiclowns would agree. This Palin broad is just some trailer-park trollop who will only end up stirring up the Neanderthals to no good end.
So, up in the stratosphere there were more than one prominent Republiclown passengers happily desporting themselves in the gondola beneath the SS Scuzzyfuzzy. Most prominent was the always overeager Newt. Is he running for something or does he have another insipid faux history book coming out? After his Global Warming commercial with Nutsy Pelosi you'd think the guy would be a little bit gun shy (especially around Palin) but come on guys, this is Watertown. Nobody's ever gonna know!
And then Palin struck. A tiny spark, a comment on her Facebook page. Everyone in upstate New York who had gone to the better schools, who had power and influence laughed it off until the rubes reacted to the sneering contemptous reports in the Gubmint Media by traveling to Disgraced Former Governor Palin's Facebook page to find out what she had against Republiclown Scuzzyfuzzy.
It turns out that those are the same things we ALL have against ALL the Republiclowns! That thing is just one thing and that is very simple to explain. They're LIBERALS! We're Conservatives and they are our enemies. We dont want to be bi-partisan with them, we dont want to compromise with them. We certainly dont want to support them because they have an 'R' after their names instead of a 'D'.
And what difference does it make? As the Scuzzyfuzzy blimp headed for the tarmac, flames shooting from every gap in the canvas, Newt, Steele, Mutt Romney and various other libs running for their political lives, Scuzzyfuzzy did what she could to make the resulting crash even more explosive. This lib has endorsed the Dummy-craptic candidate! That's taking crossing the aisle a bit far and rips the mask off the other belly-crawling Republiclowns. They're just a big bunch of libs. They agree with Nutsy Pelosi more than they agree with us. We sat there for eight years while these jerks had majorities we handed them and refused to stem the growth of the cancer that is eating our country. Even the easy stuff like offshore drilling was ignored in the race to outspend the Dummy-craps.
The Republiclowns have turned into a tame 'opposition' party like the ones that dictators keep around to show everybody how free their political system is. They're onboard for the Total State agenda and thats why we are where we are. The Republiclowns are as clueless as the Dummy-craps. They are blind to what is happening in the country. The Age Of Obama has ripped the moderate mask off all the liberal-radical lies and shown the true direction that these idiots are taking our formerly free formerly prosperous country in.
Do the Republiclowns think we were OK with McLame, a stumbling liberal foisted on us by a creepy political sleight-of-hand? Or Dummy Hastert? Or even most of W Bush? Guess again you fools! NY23 should show you dopes where people are at, and if you think that you can gerrymander another McLame into the driver's seat in 2012 you've got another thing coming. We are furious and we have a leader. Yes, its that moose-shooting, non-Yale-educated dummy Sarah Palin. Somehow she has been on the right side of every political controversy that has arisen in the Age Of Obama. Through all the Gubmint Media fluff her one remark about Death Panels rang true and alerted seniors to their likely fate under ObamaCare. In 2007 we looked at the pack of slimy, lying weasels on the Republiclown debate platform and gagged. In 2011 there will appear on the stage someone who has been right for years, even when it is unpopular. She has won every argument and even humiliated the creepy varmint Letterman. She strung that pervert up like a dead moose and stripped him clean! What a gal!
So, the day before the election, we are standing, looking at the smouldering wreckage of the Scuzzyfuzzy blimp. We pause to remember the political careers which have perished in the holocaust. Newt, Mitt, and all the Across The Aisle Republiclowns who are revealed as people who will readily turn into Dummy-craps to save themselves from US! We are the enemy to these jerks. Now the Dummy-craps are honest about being my enemy and dont bother sending me fake surveys (Your Opinion Is Important To US!) attached to fundraising letters. I feel like sending those clueless Republiclowns a survey back. I want to find out where they're at. I'm dedicated to stopping the Pelosi-Reid-Obama Agenda, how about you Michael Steele? Crawl out of the burning wreckage and tell me you think Global Warming is a hoax designed to scare people into accepting socialism...I cant remember ever hearing you, or any other prominent Republiclown saying that. Palin has.
So now, the humble non-Harvard Graduates of Watertown are poised to send a slap to the bloated face of the megastate, on both the Dummy-crap and Republiclown cheeks. Those idiots in the Statehouses and in DC should pay attention and not label this a random event ginned up by Palin and Rush Limbaugh. It will be hard to do if Corzine loses but the media know how to handle disasters suffered by liberals. They'll report it soberly on Wednesday and it will be gone in a wave of Michael Jackson coverage (or some other Pop Historical Event) that will end any discussion of the Scuzzyfuzzy crack-up. Problem solved, right?
We're still here. We're still just as mad. We're getting madder every day. We wont rest until we stop them and throw down their evil works and fill our country with a renewed sense of purpose, one built on freedom and respect for humanity. We want our country back and our pockets are filled with Scruples that we're ready to use.