Tuesday, September 15, 2009
For some reason, known only to my wife, we still subscribe to a publication affectionately known as the Los Angeles Dog Trainer. Along with the New York Slimes and the Washington Compost the Dog Trainer is hot on the trail of the most important stories of the day. How about that Kanye West?
Why they even mentioned, on page fourteen, the recent upsurge in the number of tourists on the Mall in Washington DC last Saturday! It must be people who are overwhelmingly happy about the impending health care plan who have come to celebrate the Miracle Of Obamunism. What else would explain the thousands of signs with the president's name and picture on them? Of course this sunny festival was marred by some malcontents, paid for and bused in by Big Insurance no doubt, who crashed this ObamaFest with signs expressing some doubt that the President of Hope And Change will really be able to give, without raising the federal budget one penny, 60 million additional people unlimited access to free all-you-can-eat health care run by a government that cant even run a Cash For Clunkers program without a major breakdown.
But The Dog Trainer didnt give those sort of people very much ink except to imply that there weren't very many of them anyway. In The Dog Trainer everything is going just fine. They know how to report the good news that comes from a falling GDP, increasing unemployment, fewer hours worked, and a very noticeable drop in the standard of living for just about everybody as The Miracle Of Obamunism working its subtle Earth-saving magic. After all, this is all Bush's fault and it would be so much worse if Barry and Nutsy Pelosi and Beantown Barney werent around to help all us little statistical units out of this mess. That good news is SO danged good that there just isnt room to report trivia like the ongoing avalanche of tax fraud charges against the Chairman Of the House Ways and Means committee. After all, its not front page stuff like Mark Foley's e-mails or Sarah Palin's daughter's pregnancy.
When you look at the Right-Wing Fox network, wasting its time on some stupid racist story ginned up by a couple of reactionary criminals who went into several ACORN offices and received extensive advice on how to commit fraud to buy a federally subsidized condo to house their prostitution business and more helpful tips on how to avoid paying any taxes on their illegal income you have to wonder where their priorities are at. Where's the FCC when we need them? You know, there's just not enough room in a newspaper that is devoted to the real story behind Michael Jackson's death and how we all feel about it to include trivia about a federally subsidized criminal organization engaging in massive voter fraud (another wing of ACORN busted filing hundreds of phony voter registrations in Florida has been 'reported' in the Irresponsible Right Wing Media) or promoting under-aged prostitution and tax fraud. This is such an obvious Right wing ploy to attack the criminal organization that constituted Barry's only non-governmental employer before he got The Right Reverend Wright, whose fulsome utterances have never sullied the pages of the Dog Trainer, to promote his candidacy for the kick-back fourteen year stint he served in the Illinois Legislature. A stint during which he voted 'present' more often than 'aye' or 'nay' and in which he never offered a single piece of legislation with his name on it. This glowing record or his equally distinguished US Senate performance, it goes without saying, never was reported in that same Dog Trainer, a newspaper which steadfastly resists attempts to use it to pass on Right Wing propaganda like an accurate account of Barry's past record in the Legislature or the US Senate, his publicly stated views or any of the views or records of his many Marxist associates. They havent even noticed the almost total lack of associates who aren't Marxists. They're objective over at the Dog Trainer.
When a Commissar, wait, Czar, like Van Jones is hounded from his office by a bunch of howling racists hitting below the belt by playing his recorded statements and waving copies of his writings the Dog Trainer isn't going to break into its Brittany Spears comeback coverage to ask insulting questions like "Why do all of Barry's good friends sound so much like editorial writers for the Pyongyang Express?" Or questions like "Why did Barry abandon the six-nation talks and truckle to the North Korean demands for one-on-one talks?"
Its so great to have a newspaper like the Dog Trainer delivered to my door. Ever since that Federal Judge ruled that the hundred or so Delta Smelt in the Sacramento River Delta were more important than California's agricultural industry or its tens of millions of residents (not reported in the Dog Trainer which blames the current water shortage on Global Warming) my sprinklers dont even get the darned thing soaking wet like they used to, adding to my reading enjoyment. I even enjoy it more because they haven't printed anything about the Senate vote to defund ACORN or the Census Bureau severing its ties with the organization. I really prefer celebrity puff pieces! Its great to find out that executives and actors who are notorious around town as angry, egotistical horrors care so much about the planet! It renews your faith in Hope And Change.
So if you went to that misguided demonstration in Washington you can thank papers like the Dog Trainer for the cloak of invisibility that descended over The Mall last Saturday. But dont any of you counterrevolutionaries who dared to oppose fairness and justice worry that the powers in the remote Federal government are as blind as the news media they control. Nothing could be farther from the truth. A million people (the estimate by the London Telegraph, a non-Obama controlled newspaper, even the left-wing British press reported similar numbers) turning out against Hope And Change sends chills up and down their spines. They know how many people would turn out for a Pro Health care demonstration, a pro Trillion Dollar deficit demonstration, a Pro defund the military demonstration. Not many and those that would would discredit anything they supported by their appearance and their behavior. The Teabaggers showing up in such numbers have probably killed ObamaCare. Bravo!
Who would have thought that the Obamunists could be dealt a setback this serious so quickly? They seemed so invincible. But their victory last year was built on a lie, a lie the Dog Trainer was particularly vocal in repeating endlessly. It goes like this, "The Republicans are the party of big government, big deficits and big business, the Democrats are a group of reasonable moderates with the interests of the average person at heart." It worked in November. It doesnt work now because their behavior is at such odds with the image they projected to get elected. Every day the radical, Marxist Democrats are more and more despised not just by people like me, who never had a good word to say about them anyway, but by the people who bought the Hope And Change burrito and now have a mouthful of sawdust. All the loving coverage in the Dog Trainer won't help them now. One day, a little more than a year from now, I dream, I pray, I yearn for the weeping Marxist who currently holds the title of Dumbest Idiot In The US Senate (a real honor in a group of idiots that stupid), the squawking left-wing crow who has brought such shame and poverty to my beloved California, to stand on camera and blame her reelection defeat on the real culprit...George W Bush!