Gee...What Happened?

Oh those McLamiacs were so smart! They did an end run around the conservatives, pretended to support a phony Baptist preacher in primaries where they werent viable and parleyed 30% 'victories' in a few winner-take-all early primaries into an improbable grab of the Republican nomination; aided, of course, by the masochists in the party leadership who seemed to be obsessed with always doing the absolute dumbest thing in every political situation. They sure fooled us stupid conservatives!
So now we're stuck with an inarticulate pseudo-Democratic 'Maverick' whose campaign already is lurching from missed opportunities to disasters and back again. This clown cant do anything right. Obama spends every day screwing up, apologizing for screwing up and screwing up again. Anybody but the most totally incompetent candidate would be on the offensive against this left-wing chucklehead and making enough noise that it would force the mainstream media's 24/7 'I Love Barak' Hosanna Chorus to at least put a footnote in each of the 'Wonderful Hopeful New Age Of St Obama' stories mentioning that McLame exists and that he has a distinct point of view. The problem is that McLame is the most totally incompetent candidate imaginable and he doesnt disagree with the Democrats on most issues. He also hasnt changed his strategy of using his liberal views to entice independents and Reagan Democrats to cross the line and vote for him. The consequence of this is that McLame wanders aimlessly from issue to issue talking away in his incomprehensible bureaucratic memo-speak while the cameras show a wizened, confused old duffer up against a vigorous young Progressive singing the song of the angels. And what song is Obama singing? 'McLame is Bush's Third Term' is the title of the song. Its simple, easy to grasp, and is repeated often. Exactly what you're supposed to do to capture the attention of the low IQ Gooney Birds who compose America's TV-lobomized electorate. Meanwhile Captain Queeg McLame pushes his walker around the country, changing themes like he changes his underwear and waiting for the stunning brilliance of his 'maverickism' to ignite an unstoppable fire in the hearts of the masses.
Now he has been handed the greatest campaign issue in the history of campaign issues. The rising price of energy is a direct result of thirty years of the Democrat's and soft-headed Republican's refusal to deal with reality by drilling for oil and building nuclear power plants. People are frightened and looking for answers. The eco-nuts have a ring through the noses of the libs in both parties and, with their doltish media allies, are leading a formerly great nation down the road to decline and poverty. The Republicans in the Senate have caught on and are starting to take on the Dems on this issue. The Dems have countered with their usual nonsense about excess profits and are walking around opposing offshore drilling by pointing to the useless tracts that have already been abandoned by the oil companies and asking why they dont drill there. The media, of course, parrots the Dem line at great length and at every opportunity. McLame has made some weak moves to indicate some hedged support for drilling in a few more places but he's still talking about Glow-Bull Warming and supporting Barbara Boxer's Cap and Trade nightmare which would gut the economy by imposing trillions of dollars in added costs and fees on an already overtaxed and overregulated economy. Worse than that, politically, is McLame's inability to stick to a single line of attack, to pound home one understandable theme that defines him as a leader, to grab the cameras with a fifteen-second, resonant, oft-repeated soundbite which heartens his followers and brings fear into the breasts of his opponents.
Now, this crippled liberal has come up against a reality that cant be explained away by anything but his own lack of competence and contempt for real Republicans; the discrepancy between the thin trickle of money he is raising and the tsunami of cash that has crested to hurl the surfboard of the Obama campaign forward. Because conservatives despise McLame for the liberal that he is his appeals to the base he has spent his life betraying have gone unanswered. He has been forced to put his campaign on welfare by accepting public money. Obama has, of course, abandoned the public system that the Dems were so hot for when the Republicans were raising most of the money and will continue to milk the internet cash cow for an endless, creamy supply of donations. Unless something really big happens this election is effectively over.