Thursday, October 15, 2009

Joe Wilson Is Lazy


Come on South Carolinians! Are you serious, sending a lazy clown like Joe Wilson to represent you in Congress? Look at the furor caused by his behavior. He shouted, "You lie!" during an Obama speech. In mitigation some people would point out that he only did it once. That's exactly my point. Was there only one lie in that speech? Of course not! That was an Obama speech...mmm,mmm,mmm! Every point it made, every word, every implication, every time he cleared his throat was a lie aimed at further confusing and bamboozling an increasingly moronic electorate. If Joe Wilson had stood there and yelled, "You lie!" at the end of each sentence that would have been a little more appropriate. But Joe Wilson only yelled it once and then, faced with attacks immediately launched by the Government Controlled Media, issued an apology. He apparently was happy with the rest of the speech, which wasnt any more honest than the illegal alien line that Wilson objected to. After his objection to that one point he then sat happily applauding each new piece of mendacity that leapt in a high-pressure stream from the lips of Obama...mmm,mmm,mmm!

But how can we criticize Wilson for his lack of energy? Even though an amendment barring illegal aliens from collecting benefits from ObamaCare was voted down on a straight party-line vote (Olympia's day off apparently), underlining Obama's egregious lie, we have to notice that Wilson didnt issue the simple statement that this vote called for, one that read 'He lied then and he's still lying'. Well, the Government Controlled Media wouldnt have reported anything so racist and provocative so maybe he just didnt want to waste his breath. But the lack of a statement like this from anyone in the opposition is why we are where we are.

Every word these Democrats speak is a lie. I guess before we criticize Wilson for his lack of enterprise we should look in the mirror and think about all the times we've sat there, listening to some leftist idiot propound on Glow-Bull Warming or George Bush's Evil War, or why turning the health care industry over to the federal government is a great idea, without standing up and yelling, "You Lie!" I do it all the time. I'm afraid of losing my job and infuriating my wife and most of our friends. I mentioned that the UAW was responsible for the demise of GM at a party once, and this is Los Angeles, not Detroit, and was almost physically assaulted by a guy who claimed that it was capitalists and foreign automakers who were responsible...oh yeah, and the Evil Bush Tax Cuts! When he ran out of foolish cliches and couldnt make his point he became irate. But it was obvious that he lied. All the arguments of the left are thin lies that wont stand up for a minute in a rational debate. That's why they get personal and physical immediately and avoid you in the long term. They dont want to be confronted with the thinness of their arguments. Later my wife was furious that I 'caused trouble' with our friends.

Now that the lies are pouring from the left in a torrent is it wrong for the few of us who remain sane to sit back and let them flow past without yelling "You lie!" as each one rears its ugly head? Are we a bunch of lazybones summer soldiers in the war against the left? I dont know, sometimes the PT Barnum line 'Never smarten up a chump' rings in my ears as some happily grinning dope tells me that doubling my electric bill will save the polar bears who are breeding like rats on the expanding polar ice cap to the point where they're achieving a population density similar to coolies in Java. Are you going to look into her lovely eyes and turn her cretinous grin into a scowl of hatred as you break in and state, "You lie!'? No you're not, you're going to grin politely and leave her to her fate, the fate of the citizen of a declining socialist state.

After all, what do I care? In a few years I'll be able to take my wheelbarrow full of worthless Obama-bucks I got when I cashed my permanently extended unemployment benefits check and pay off my fixed rate mortgage so I wont have to move behind the dumpster at Circus Liquors over on Vineland (its where you go when you want to get clown drunk!). I've lived poor and I've lived rough. Fortunately my 'good' years occurred when my kids were small but they're all grown and able to take care of themselves in these increasingly bleak times so all I care about is shelter, a simple diet and my computer. The whole rest of the world can fall into the 'Hope And Change' pit and it wont bother me too much. Your boat got repo'ed and your 401k is worthless? Enjoy the Hope And Change you moron! You should have yelled "You Lie!" when that charlatan was making all his promises. I was wise enough to have spent every penny I got as soon as I got it, making me the perfect victim of Capitalism, a true target for Obamunist solutions that you kiddies will now have to work hard to pay for. I didnt lose a penny in the stock crash and every bank in the country can go broke without bothering me, I wont lose a plugged nickel...well, maybe the plugged nickel which constitutes my current bank balance but I can deal with that. Why should I raise my blood pressure arguing with the people who are going to put in such hard work paying for my rightful Benefits? Maybe we should just wait until we're all sitting in the waiting room of one of the few doctors who will remain in practice after their fees are cut by two thirds, an experience my wife has had, BTW, when my infant daughter became sick on a visit to the UK and was taken to the local GP. Sixty people in the waiting room. We'll have plenty of time for discussions of comparitive economics then, more time than we'll need. Makes you wonder why you dont yell "You lie!" every time some idiot says that cutting doctor's fees in half and adding fifty million people to the system isnt going to result in lines and rationing. We wont have to yell "You Lie!" then.

Right now I take the coward's way out...I yell "You lie!" at my TV set or when the ABC radio newsbreaks happily report some 'fact' that Mark Levin just finished debunking for a half an hour. I post salty comments on Real Clear Politics and The Politico. I went to a Tea Party. I waste my time blogging, sometimes in my pyjamas! But the world doesnt seem to be responding. Have the old verities lost their pull?

Come on now, if we're going to demand honesty in other people we might as well be honest with ourselves. The thing about Capitalism and Freedom is that its hard work. Obamunism is completely passive. All you have to do is sit there and let it happen to you. Yes you have the opportunity to be a success under Capitalism but really, c'mon, who's got the energy for that? Most people want to put in their eight hours at the stupid job they hate and go home and veg out in front of the tube. Each family member with a different TV set. Nirvana. Economy collapsing? Who cares. Its Bush's fault, OK? Of course they're a little peeved when their brother and his family have to move in to their 800 square foot shack because he lost his job and his house and they dont like the twelve dollar a gallon gasoline or the six-hour wait at the doctor's office, they're even more bugged when inflation puts them into the millionaire tax bracket but its all good! Just go with the flow. After all, jumping up and yelling "You Lie!" every few minutes gets a little tiresome after a while.

So maybe we should go a little easy on Joe Wilson as the health care lump slides through the legislative colon, eventually to land on the tops of all our heads. He might even be one of the good guys. In this age of socialist lies and AmeriKKKan decline (a choice according to Krauthammer, who yells "You Lie!" every day on TV) maybe the only way an aging conservative can survive is to connect with our spirit of ingenuity and enterprise, become infused with a new enthusiasm to succeed and move forward, to throw off the chains of sloth and passivity and go out and apply for every single government benefit that is available on the local, state and federal level and pursue them with the zeal and persistence that we would have summoned in the Horrible Capitalist Years in our selfish pursuit of success. Yes we can! And, when we are on the roll for every handout, have swallowed every ounce of the corrupt dishonesty that our left-wing feudal lords can dish out, as the formerly prosperous and happy world we were born into turns into a slough of socialist emptiness and despair we can happily jump up onto our formerly reactionary feet, love of Obama in our hearts and yell, "You lie...and so do I!" We'll only have to do it one time and everything will be just peachy. Really. I'm not lying.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Sinceritude


Its not what you say or even what you do, its how your mere presence makes people feel that counts. You dont have to tell the truth, you just have to seem like you really care. Not sincerity but Sinceritude. Sometimes this TV truth, this hunk of video wisdom, this pop adage lurks beneath the surface of a turbid everyday reality. For example, as the clownish Algore repeats his faith in the hockey-stick temperature graph visions of The Late Medieval Warming and The Little Ice Age flow into our brains until we realize we love the chubby devil because he can say things like 'no controlling legal authority' and 'Bill Clinton is the greatest president in American History' with the same cherubic mongoloid look on his face that he uses to defend the Hockey Stick. None of its right, none of its true, we know that, he probably knows it too but there he is, staring into the camera, never blinking, with that weird grin on his face. Sinceritude.

And what has Sinceritude gotten the egregiously misguided Algore. A thriving business telling people that the money they send him will be used to plant trees whose carbon dioxide absorbing properties will soak up the excess CO2 and save their homes from tidal waves and brush fires. In this age of Green Chumpery that's like a license to print money. Sinceritude. He's probably not even planting trees either but running a chain of Medical Marijuana growhouses where each of the cloned buds are counted as a Carbon Offset. The best thing about Sinceritude is the recognition you receive for it. Algore cannot sing; he has a Grammy. Algore looks like an overripe mandarin orange on TV and stumbles in his delivery; he has an Emmy. Algore knows nothing about filmmaking and cant act; he has an Oscar. Algore's biofuel idiocy has caused world food prices to rise, causing riots and starvation across the globe; he has a Nobel Peace Prize. Does he have a Pulitzer? In all this excitement I kind of forget myself. Its Sinceritude if he does.

But then it happened. Oh yes, it happened in the dead of night, while us unsuspecting citizens were sleeping and dreaming our workaday dreams. I awoke and turned on the television and heard the awful news...Epperson had been dumped from Project Runway. Blonde, Aryan Heidi Klum was handing the tall, charming, dreadlock-wearing Epperson a one-way ticket to designer Palookaville. Auf Weidersehn! Epperson. OK his entry in the Wedding Dress challenge was a total disaster and that shirt-dress monstrosity from last week wasnt any better. But he was so cool about it all! I had been wading through John Bagot Glubb's 'The Empire Of The Arabs' when my wife's watching of DVR episodes of 'Project Runway' lured me away from the madcap antics of the Umaiyad Khalifs in the 8th Century. Go figure.

C'mon, we all know Irina's gonna win. That chick is hot! Razor-sharp and coolly calculating but very lacking in Sinceritude. She wants to win. Epperson just has been cruising through the show, almost forcing everybody to like him. So it turns out he's a zero, a mediocrity. Shouldnt they have given him First Place just because he's an affable, tall, charming, post-racial black guy with Mucho Sinceritude? Its happened before.

So now what, Epperson? Now that Heidi has shot down every dream you ever had how are you going to survive in a country in which, even though the Stimulus Bill, legislation with a lot of Sinceritude, has saved millions of jobs, there is still a paucity of employment opportunities. Where does a young minority male, on the streets with little skill, less enthusiasm, and a provincial and incurious view of the world go to earn his daily bread? Where is a hand reached out to the true owners of Sinceritude? The Illinois Legislature, that's where!

You go sit in the front row of Reverend Jeremiah Wright's church and when he yells 'God Damn AmeriKKKa' you stand up and you yell, "AMEN!" real loud. You hire William Ayres to write you a great autobiography. Soon your feet will be up on the desk, your lovely young assistant standing by, waiting for instructions and you'll be voting 'Present' with the best of them. Politics is way better than dress designing, where I'm told people who have jobs are expected to actually do something from time to time. That'll never happen to a politician with lots of Sinceritude. Look at Charlie Wrangle, he made at least double his measly Congressional salary with his funny real estate transactions and didnt pay taxes on any of it, but he has the Sinceritude to weather the political, racist insinuations lodged against him by the Crackpot Christian Terrorists in their campaign to destroy AmeriKKKa.

So you go for that legislative sinecure Epperson. You never know; a lifetime of phony achievement and total mediocrity if accompanied by a dollop of ruthless ambition and a generous ladleful of Sinceritude can lead a guy to the Nobel Prize at the end of the rainbow. I'm not fooling. Its happened before.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Tragic Death Of Od


Great performers are cursed in these angry times. It seems a wrathful God has it in for those who try to rise above the heads of the common herd. Paul Newmann, thespian and purveyor of salad oil struck down; Michael Jackson, musician and also a purveyor of oily lubricants suddenly snatched from us and now Od, Thailand's best dwarf trapeze artist, perishing in a tragic accident that can only make you wonder if there really is a God or, if there is, why he chooses to be so cruel.

Od was on the top of his game. He had overcome centuries of Thai prejudice that said dwarves could never be the best, could never excel. But Od was the best. He did excel. The audience was in the palm of his stubby little hand. He had fame, he had fortune. he knew he was the master so when he did his triple flip cross-swing the crowd was wowed! Down he flew, onto the trampoline he used to do his dismount, in itself a masterstroke of genius. You got to see a dwarf on the high wire but he wasnt too vain to bounce on a trampoline. Od didnt disdain the simple tastes of the masses, who enjoyed watching dwarfs bounce up and down as much as they loved them swinging and tumbling through the air. But it was this demotic touch that led to his downfall.

Something went wrong. He hit the trampoline at the wrong angle, maybe he was falling too fast, we'll never know because no cameras were present. He bounced, but he didnt bounce straight up in that hilarious dwarf trajectory that audiences had grown to love. He arched. The next act was named Hilda The Hippopotamus. Again one yearns for the presence of a camera. What do you train a hippopotamus to do in a circus anyway? Do they hop up on their back legs or something? This whole circus sounds like it was dreamed up by some mad surrealist impresario who fled The West with its cutsie-pootsie Cirq De Soliel to get back to a more Medieval feel.

Whatever Hilda did during her performance is beside the point because as she waited to go on the bored Hilda gave a gigantic hippo-mouth yawn just as Od came careering off the trampoline. Into Hilda's yawning mouth. She had a gag reflex and swallowed Od. The audience cheered. Od had topped himself this evening, and to be fair, so had Hilda. The people at the circus were upset, there cant be a whole lot of dwarfy trapeze artists running around, certainly none of Od's caliber. It took a while for the crowd to understand what they had witnessed, to realize that Od would not be coming out to take a bow. Ever again.

I'm upset. If those Right-Wingers hadnt blocked Obamacare maybe Od could have been saved! Fortunately ObamaCare doesnt take citizenship into account- we're all citizens of the world after all- and I doubt that there's anything in the legislation wending its way secretly through the back corridors of the House and Senate that says you have to physically be in the United States, either. Of course even under the magically enlightened tenets of ObamaCare this Od situation has some thorny sticking points. Cass Sunstein will of course have added provisions to provide the hapless Hilda with an attorney so that she wont be forced into surgery to alleviate a non-life-threatening condition. Hippos are pretty much vegetarians and its almost certain that a fully-clothed, rhinestone-coated dwarf is going to at least give her a bad case of heartburn but you knife-happy jokers put those scalpels away. Anyway the wait for surgery under ObamaCare might make the whole thing moot by the time its resolved.

But this isnt about ObamaCare, its about how you can be riding high one minute and the next minute you're lower than hippo waste, which I'm told doesnt float. Look at Barry, President Of The World and its Peoples. He gasses up five jets, grabs Oprah and his First Lady and junkets off to Copenhagen to let those EuroTrash lounge-lizards at the IOC know where their next Olympics was gonna be. Him and the Lovely Bride got up to the mikes and delivered a version in which the refrain Me-Me-Me-Me-Me came out so rapidly the drunken sportsmeisters must have thought the Obama's were skat-singing. The IOC had its big, bored hippo-sized mouth open at the time of Obama's speech and the inevitable gag reflex swallowed the Greatest Olympic Pitch Of All Time.

Like Od, Barry Obama is headed for the fertile soup at the bottom of the hippo-pond. At least his poll numbers are headed that way. It turns out that this charming and affable 'Hope And Change' candidate is a stiff, distant, inarticulate and blatantly dishonest radical presiding over an economy where employers are looking at business-gutting legislation that is pending in the house and senate and refusing to hire anyone. The people who voted for his picture on the cover of People Magazine are starting to catch on. You're going to cut Granny's Medicare are you? That sounds expensive for me. Every doctor I know over fifty years old is planning on retiring. The miracle Green Jobs havent materialized. Nothing that people thought these guys were going to do has happened. Instead we got a giant increase in spending and debt and humiliation after humiliation in front of the world. Its not even a year and people are starting to miss Bush.

What's next with this political dwarf? Can he be any more inept? Why are Axelrod and Emmanuel looking more and more like Curly and Larry while we have in the oval office an increasingly long-faced and clueless Moe. I guess we should thank God for Barry's total lack of leadership skills; if he knew what he was doing we would have ObamaCare, Cap And Trade and Card Check by now. Instead the Pelosi-crats passed a trillion-dollar payoff to themselves and threw away any credibility they might have accrued by painting the Bushies as corrupt big spenders. If Barry had any concept of strategy he never would have let Reid and Pelosi pull off a heist like that. Its becoming increasingly clear that neither him or his associates have any clear concept of anything. Harvard grads all. Geniuses. Just like Od was a genius.

Even The President Of The World's vaunted communication skills, always highly overrated, have let him down. He's not a good speaker and now nobody believes him so his delivery doesnt matter anyway. Barry's getting a deer-in-the-headlights look to him. There never was any opposition in Chicago! If somebody was on your team they were on your team, there was none of this blue-dog crap! Even OPRAH doesnt work anymore. Now they're kicking around a 'second stimulus'. Its like a 'second bankruptcy'. Revenues are crashing, and so is Obama's agenda. The Dems just dont understand what went wrong. It must have been the same with Od as he saw that gaping maw of destruction get closer and closer. None of his talent, none of his luck, nothing can stave off your fate once its cast. That goes for everybody, even the President Of The World and all its People.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

C'mon Jake, Its Chinatown



Time for all my blogging pals on Townhall to hate me because I'm going to defend Roman Polanski. I've been reading all the outrage and moral preening from people from every walk of life having a good time screaming about what a perverted freak Polanski is. Just to make sure that all of the solid citizens dont lose their lynch-mob enthusiasm the transcripts of the 1977 case have been released by the prosecutor's office and selectively printed by sensationalist editors so that any jury pool in a future trial will be completely tainted. We're all supposed to imagine that Polanski is some brutal rapist who lured this poor innocent into his evil clutches and defiled her as she fought and protested, weeping at her lost innocence.

Sounds like a rap, huh? Its in the can; this guy's the worst monster to walk the planet since Himmler died. Or maybe not. There are aspects of this case that are either unreported by the media or lost in the phony outrage.

What was she doing over at Polanski's place anyway? Her mother knew she was there. Anyone who is in the film industry knows why she was there. Famous producers, directors, actors, musicians, anyone whose patronage can admit one to the Earthly Paradise that America pays billions of dollars every year to peep at in the tabloids, are approached constantly, at parties, in restaurants, as they walk down the street, everywhere they go, by people desperate to be let in on a piece of The Dream. She was going over to a movie director's house to do 'a photo shoot that would help her career.' I live in Los Angeles and have worked in the film community my entire adult life. I also have two very attractive daughters. If one of them had come to me and told me that they had been invited to a 43 year old movie director's house for 'a photo shoot' I would have immediately contacted this person and insisted on attending this photo shoot. I also would have warned them that if this shoot took place without my permission they could expect the police and the media to be called and a lawsuit to be filed.

Apparently the victim's mother didnt feel that way. She dreamed of the payoff, just like Michael Jackson's little playmate's parents dreamed of the Jacko-pot at the end of the rainbow. Trading your children to powerful men for favors returned is an aspect of human behavior that would turn anyone's stomach but it is much more common than you would think. A good account of it is in Mario Vargas Llosa's 'Feast Of The Goat'. How many women said no to President Billy-goat? Very few. When Angelica Huston turned up at the end of the 'rape' there was no screaming, weeping victim, too terrified to speak and trembling with fear and humiliation. Huston was in the house with them and thought she was just another of the endless stream of chickies that normally buzz around guys like Polanski, guys who can make you a star!

In fact, Angelica's daddy, John Huston, in one of Polanski's greatest films, Chinatown, a film that the victim's mother undoubtedly had seen, speaks this line to Jack Nicholson, whose house the alleged rape was supposed to occur in, "...most people never have to face the fact that in certain situations they're capable of anything." I'm not chased down the street by beautiful women, neither are you. Polanski? The guy who can put you in a starring role that can make you a household name? A cat who can make one phone call and make it all happen? Picasso, an ugly, warty, cruel and old man walked up to a sixteen-year-old Jaqueline Bisset on a street in Paris and told her that he was PICASSO and that she was too beautiful to not be famous. She followed dutifully. Legend has it that Lana Turner was discovered the same way. Marilyn Monroe. The list is endless. I'll bet Samantha Geimer's mother had seen that list, maybe had tried to be on it herself.

And it was the Seventies! Of course thirteen year olds didnt say no to champagne and quaaludes with a famous director. Nobody did. The only amazing thing about that is that they werent also snorting coke. How wasted was Polanski when all this was happening? I dont remember anyone saying. Did you ever see the film 'Boogie Nights'? That was a conservative picture of the scene at the time. In fact, the judge in this case made a deal with Polanski for time served in exchange for a guilty plea. It wasnt looked on as a brutal rape in the context of the time and place. Everyone understood the scene. People in Polanski's position are constantly hit on by wanna-be starlets. Everybody was fairly wasted most of the time. If you gave in to your worst instincts while you were too messed up to resist...well, he admitted his guilt and he had served a couple of months in the slammer; that seemed to be appropriate to the community standards of the time.

Lets also bring up the story of another fan who wanted to be famous, a guy named Charley. Eight years before the Geimer incident took place frustrated wanna-be Charley sent some of his pals over to Polanski's house in Bel Aire. They slaughtered five people and cut Polanski's baby from its mother's womb and stabbed it too. Fans do the darnedest things! Charley got be famous, too. It was worth it to him just like it would have been worth it to Mama Geimer to trade her daughter's body for fame and fortune. What does something like that do to your head? How do you feel about all the desperate wanna-be's when something like that happens to your wife, child and friends? Here's a guy who survived the murder of his entire family during WW2 and lived on the handouts of people who could have turned him in to the Nazis at any time, a person who had to flee the secret police in his own country (his friend Jerzy Kosinski, who wrote a book called 'The Painted Bird' about a child in just that situation missed being in Polanski's house that night in August because of a screwed up plane connection).

How come the people who are howling for Polanski to spend the rest of his life in prison dont want to consider what had possibly led to Polanski's complete lack of judgment in this situation? They dont care that the victim is against him spending any time in jail. How can we let terrorists like Bernadine Dohrn walk away from a cop-killing with a shrug (it was so long ago after all!) and be so angry at Polanski for this trivia. He pled guilty. He showed remorse. The judge who oversaw the plea-bargain double-crossed him. He fled.

So every time you pick up a tab in the supermarket, every 'Hollywood Tonight' show you watch so obsessively, every time the mailman drops this week's People Magazine in your mailbox, every time you close your eyes and imagine yourself looking into the eyes of that lovely young thing and say, 'Play your cards right baby and I can make you a star' you should think of the completely screwed-up lives of the people whose pictures are festooned on the pages of the tabs. Consider how much the people who make their living being your vicarious fantasy objects pay for your obsessive need to transcend your boring workaday life. These arent priests or schoolteachers, they're artists who live extremely hard lives, lives that people with regular jobs and regular paychecks could never in their wildest dreams imagine. They've clawed their way to the top by sheer will, sacrificing everything, friends, family, security, even personal integrity, to get what they've gotten, because they believe in a vision. Before they make it most of their families and friends think they are crazy, that they've wasted their lives. They are crazy! And all of a sudden they go from deadbeats that people avoid to the guy who doesnt have to wait in line at the top restaurant in Beverly Hills, the guy that thirteen-year-old cuties want to do naked photo shoots with. Photographers chase them down the street. Women pant heavily in their presence.

You're real moral right now...if you suggested to a local teenaged cutie that she come over to your house for a topless photo-shoot she would run away in disgust and her parents would either call the cops or get out the revolver and invite you to a different kind of shoot...but then you cant make the little darling a star. She might be able to move to Bev-er-ly! Hills, that its! Swimmin' pools, movie stars! Before you judge Polanski by the same set of rules that apply to America you should just consider that Polanski didnt live in America, he lived in Chinatown.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Wisdom Of The Ages


The collection of the corniest, most hackneyed proverbs, the ones that make you smack your forehead when they emerge from the mouth of some dummy, is actually a collection of the accumulated wisdom of mankind. After all, most of the 'correct' ways to behave are well known. You shouldn't need a ton of Bible study to know that the stuff in the Ten Commandments isn't religion but just plain common sense. Easy to say, harder to follow, but undeniably true.

There might be some relativist arguments that say its OK to steal (or make your victim 'pay his fair share') or people who aver that elephants occasionally forget things and that a stitch in time might not save nine but there's one time-worn cliche that defies any argument. It goes like this; The Democratic Party is addicted to insane levels of spending, has a pathological fear of criticism, despises private enterprise, looks on the US Constitution as an unfair restraint against necessary government expansion, hates small business and working class white people and in foreign policy is ready to suck up to any anti-American dictator, now matter how hostile or bloodthirsty, as long as the label 'progressive' is attached.

The truth of this old shopworn cliche is proven daily. If the evidence that carbon emissions cause global temperatures to rise was as strong as the evidence that the cliche about the Democrats is true I'd be out demonstrating in the streets for more windmills and fewer oil refineries. But while there is no empirical evidence to support the assertion that carbon emissions cause temperatures to rise (carbon levels have risen for a decade as temperatures have declined) there is ample evidence, evidence that jumps out to bite you, that every word of that cliche about the Democrats is as true as if it had been written in fiery letters of gold across the sky by the hand of God.

What empirical evidence? Barry's embarrassment of a speech to the United Nations is Exhibit A. I wept. Remember that photo of the Frenchman weeping as the German National Socialists drove their Soviet-fueled tanks down the Champs Elysee in 1940? That was me as I listened to Barry's speech. Who voted for this pendejo? I might understand how there could be some half-wits wandering around in the smog who might not be aware that the entire course of human history is an unending record of one nation dominating another. If you work behind the register at 7-11 you can live your life quite happily even though you are so shockingly uninformed. Ignorance is bliss (another cliche) especially if it allows you you retain your cretinous grin while the ACORN worker helps you fill out your absentee ballot and hands you a jug of cheap wine and a carton of ciggies to reward you for doing your civic duty.

While not knowing the story of human history is unfortunate in a retail clerk its a bit more disturbing in a President. And a Congress. And a State Department. And a Press Corps. And a Financial Community. It seems that the 'best and the brightest', the people who have spent twenty years in the most exacting academic environments are as stupid as the guy behind the register at Quickie-Mart. You get what you pay for? Thats one cliche thats as true as the melting polar ice caps, which is to say demonstrably untrue. Two hundred thousand plunked down as admission to the Ivory Tower and look what it gets you, an economic adviser, Laura DeAndrea Tyson-Chicken, who did her doctoral dissertation on the economic glories of Ceausescu's Romania. How is it possible to be that stupid? Did she go there? She must have taken a cab from her hotel to a conference or something. She cant have walked down the street in Bucharest. The stewards of great economies are rarely hauled up against the wall and shot by an angry mob of their starving citizens. And the morons on the committee who didnt burst out laughing when presented with this pean to a poverty-stricken Stalinist hellhole surrounded by barbed wire and crawling with secret police but who then awarded this genius a doctorate, what a pack of grinning idiots they had to be! The janitor who mopped out the conference room was smarter than these pedigreed buffoons.

Yesterday we were confronted with the Primus Inter Pares ( first among equals, in case you have a degree from Berkeley) of a class of total morons, steeped in the noxious broth of political correctness and who now have total power. We live the nightmare of a nation that has abandoned its traditions and the commitment to human freedom and individual dignity that has made it the greatest nation ever to have existed in human history, the birthplace of an industrial technology that has the potential to free mankind from misery and want, in favor of a baleful ignorance that threatens to plunge the entire world into a new Dark Ages. The sheer folly of the Emperor Honorius, the leader who stripped the Roman Empire of its defenses, taxed it into poverty and alienated all its allies, is evident in the words and actions of Barry & Co.

They dont know anything about science or logic so their belief in the planetary catastrophe that our incandescent light bulbs will cause doesnt seem at all irrational to them. They dont know anything about history, geography or anthropology so when someone says that nations will all get together at the UN and learn to get along happily that sounds pretty good. This blank gang of award-winning 'A' student leftists are so woefully ignorant of economics that they yearn to dismantle an economic system that is the only way to sustain the world population at current levels. They can aver, with a straight face, that the way to make something like medical care cheaper and more effective is to remove the profit motive and turn it over to a gang of unionized, salaried bureaucrats. Well, it worked for the schools.

We who actually know something about history and humanity can only look on this with absolute horror in the same way that we watched the Clintons take huge bribes from a hostile Red China. But this is worse. The Clintons, even in their empty misguided Yale-educated craniums, knew that they couldnt truckle too blatantly to the monstrous dictators in China. Barry sees himself as a saviour on a crusade to make AmeriKKKa's chickens welcome as they come home to roost. He crawled and demonstrated his contempt for his country so much that when Khad-daffy-Duck, the bloodthirsty socialist and Robert Downey Junior look alike, came out with a speech with lines so laudatory of Our Barry that one almost imagined that it actually was Robert Downey Junior speaking, it was hardly a surprise. Neither was Khad-daffy-Duck's sneering insincerity as he delivered these praises. He was mocking our country, which he hates with all his angry soul, by playing on our simple-minded leader's vanity.

Faced with ruin our course of action is clear. The million people who showed up on The Mall to defeat Barry's expropriation of the medical industry have shown us the way. We all have to show up, be activists. If anyone who would vote against this madness says something like, "my vote doesnt count, they're all the same!" it is our duty to make sure they go and vote. The Republicans might not be a walk in the park but could you imagine, in your wildest dreams, of John McCain giving an anti-American speech like the one we heard yesterday? Would he have threatened Israel and encouraged Iran? Even the most liberal Republican is not going to go to Washington and vote to make Nutsy Pelosi (she's saving the planet!) Speaker Of The House. These Democrats are a menace and threaten the survival of tens of millions of people.

You think I exaggerate? I live in California, my friend. The enviro-Democrats have used the Endangered Species Act and the courts to choke off the water supply not only to the city that I live in but to the farms in the San Joaquin Valley which produce 12% of this country's agricultural products. The Governator has gone to Washington to plead with the enviro-Democrats to relent. The answer is no! 40,000 farmers are starving, their productive farms choked with tumbleweeds as Barbara Boxer, the poisonous Marxist dwarf who the dopes in this state vote for because she's good at spending public employee union slush-fund money to smear her opponents and the slimy Di-Fi block any attempt to open the taps. Today California tomorrow Iowa and Nebraska. AmeriKKKa's pesticide-riddled profit-center farms are an affront to Mother Gaia! I read that in a book by a professor at Brown University so it must be true. Lets nationalize food production like in the Ukraine in 1933. It'll be real Green.

Regrettably, more Earth-friendly farming methods might cut actual output by 90% but because we will abandon the carbon-spewing tractors and steel implements that the greedy capitalists used to make their obscene profits there will be plenty of 'green' jobs available poking the ground with a sharpened stick and placing a couple of seeds in the hole. You dont need a car to commute to that job from your Earth-friendly hut on the edge of the feild. The planet will take an even bigger step towards greenness as the excess billions who live on our greed-driven food exports bond with the depleted soil and reenter the biochemical cycle of life. The Furbush Lousewort will be saved from extinction. Not so the excess Nigerians.

So lets steal a cliche from the commies. This one was uttered by Joe Hill, as they were leading him to his execution for murder. He was said to have remarked, "Dont mourn, ORGANIZE!" Its time to drop all of our differences in the face of this menace. Anyone, pro-life or pro-choice, Ron Paulian, Pat Buchananite, libertarian dreamer, bloated capitalist, Ayn Rand objectivist, flat-taxer, country club RINO, effete Neo-Con intellectual or rough-edged gun enthusiast, whoever you hate, whoever embarrasses you to stand next to is your brother if they stand with you against this dangerous pack of Stalinists. Our survival is more important than our differences. There are NO moderate Democrats. They are ALL a menace to humanity and we have to do whatever we can to stop them. Yes We Can.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Shame On Us!


In the summer of 1938, unarmed and confronted with a well-armed aggressive dictator Neville Chamberlain flew to Munich and caved in to the demands of Adolph Hitler. Chamberlain was in a tough spot. His country was almost completely defenseless against the Germans, who had spent the five previous years rearming themselves while the rest of Europe ignored them and trusted to Hitler's good intentions and law-abiding instincts. The year or so that Chamberlain bought by feeding the fresh corpse of Czechoslovakia to the hungry Nazi wolf made a huge difference once the inevitable war broke out. Even so, his actions, which turned millions of helpless people into totalitarian slaves and encouraged Stalin to make a deal to divide eastern Europe with Hitler, have become a byword for spinelessness and cowardice.
Are we going to let the gold cup for shame and cowardice rest in the hands of some lanky, weaselly foreigner? No way, Jose! When it comes to lanky, weaselly, traitorous, cowardly, belly-crawling morons America is now NUMBER ONE!

Barak Obama has, in less than a year, proven himself to be the worst president this country has ever had. He and his radical associates have spit on this country and its traditions, done end runs around the Constitution or just flat out ignored it. This same pack of radical cretins has severely damaged the economy with their Marxo-Keynsian stimulationism and are literally papering over their malpractice with a flood of monopoly money pouring like a Niagara from the Federal Reserve and a flood of worthless debt pouring from the treasury. The dollar sinks slowly as its position as the world's reserve currency erodes in a sea of worthless paper and misguided anti-business, anti-growth policies. Barry has shown that no amount of traitorous or nonsensical utterances is a bar to high office in this leftist regime, no amount of criminality is a bar to receiving a federal subsidy as long as you've got you mind right.

But today they have crossed the Rubicon, a stream swollen with the tears of the peace-creep snivelers and accomodationists, who, since the Russian Revolution, have counseled timidity and understanding in the face of a gang of ruthless Marxist criminals who have killed more people than Adolph Hitler or any other dictator. Barry has decided to not deploy the missile shield that had been promised to Europe to defend them against their friendly neighbors in Iran and the Post Soviet Union. Vladimir Putin, smug KGB dictator of the PSU (Post Soviet Union) can give a happy wink of triumph. His nation might be in the last stages of crumbling in a demographic disaster that started with Stalin's mass murders, his economy only propped up by hydrocarbon exports. He might be surrounded by nations who hate him and his country with every fiber of their beings for the bloody crimes and endless humiliations inflicted on them during the Soviet Empire. The population of ethnic Russians, decimated by drink, abortions and despair, might be disappearing as soaring Muslim birthrates turn Russia into an Islamic country. It must be a ray of light in a time of extreme weakness, as Stalin's chickens are coming home to roost, for a slimy little tinpot potato-republic macho strongman like Putin to be handed a triumph like this by the sympathetic Obamunists in Washington and their gormless leader Barry.

Of course, this wasnt the result of any actions Little Vlad The Impuner actually took. This shameful retreat was engineered not by a craven politician faced with a much more powerful adversary, like Chamberlain, but a by an idealistic and ignorant claque of fatheads who has made crawling on their bellies before foreign dictators a lifestyle! Read 'Winter In Moscow' by Malcolm Muggeridge if you want some insight into the mentality of these half-wits. They havent changed in seventy years. All the cretinous idealism, all the fulsome stupidity and the heartless disregard for the results of their enlightened actions on other people is blatantly apparent in this crop of geniuses...except they're running the government. Slow Joe Biden reacted to questions from the Euro press by blithely stating that Iranian missiles arent a threat and that their nuclear program is overrated. After I finish writing this I'm going to get a shovel and start digging a fallout shelter in the side of my hillside and start studying the Koran.

So, while the courageous and unexpected actions of the Teabaggers have, for the moment, dealt a hearty setback to the domestic agenda of Obamunism, in foreign policy the clouds gather, encouraged by our inaction or actual connivance with the forces of Evil. The arrests of the interrogators at Club Gitmo are announced as the bloodthirsty terrorists are supplied with photographs of undercover operatives by the ACLU for them to murder as soon as the Obamunist judges in the Federal District courts apologize to them and set them free. The Somali pirates run amok, and now unreported, as the largest navy on the planet refuses to protect the shipping lanes from the Middle East. In that context we have now turned our back on NATO and told the defenseless Euros that any Iranian missiles or military action by the PSU are not our problem. These weak, cringing, 'post-military' welfare states are on their own and surrounded by armed violent thugs who hate their guts and covet their wealth.

What a joke! Europe, in the throes of a demographic collapse as dramatic as the one in the PSU, is unable to muster any sort of defense from its aging and cosmopolitan (selfish and cowardly) inhabitants. All it will take is one domino to be pushed, an Italy or a Spain perhaps, and a three thousand year culture will be over, killed dead as a doornail by welfare-state socialism. The empty ruins of that culture will be inhabited by a degenerate race of pygmies as ignorant of what had been there before as the people who dwell in the ruins of Palenque or Chichen Itza.

Here in America we now have a president who is more foolish and naive around bloodthirsty dictators than FDR, meaner and more dishonestly nasty to his political opponents than the curmudgeonly Truman, more arrogant and lawless than the over-hyped mediocrity JFK, more free-spending than the spendthrift bully LBJ, more cavalier and negligent with his nations defense and foreign policy than the mentally retarded Jimmy The Jerk and yes, more corrupt even than Billy Goat Clinton (!). My heart sinks as I look at him stumping around the country, mouthing his foolish lying platitudes, unable to answer a single honest question about any of his policies or associates and I wonder how 53% of the nation could have been stupid enough to vote for this guy and the idiots who have sway in the Senate and House.

Is this government some kind of punishment by a malicious God who wants mankind to suffer? How have people so foreign to any kind of honor, honesty or plain common sense risen so high in a country that used to pride itself as being composed of individualists, proud of their independence and freedom and ready to rise to defend it? Maybe the lefties are right, everyone in the world loves America when they look at Barry the Wonderful President. Thats OK, those foreign idiots will pay for their stupidity when they realize that America is over and gone from their lives and the non-threatening Iranians and Russians are moving in to fill the power vacuum.

I have to say, that on this day of humiliation and weakness, that I am ashamed of my country and what it has become. Stupid greedy pig voters tricked into giving total power to slimy, lying, leftist ideologues. A country dancing happily, well, maybe not so happily, down the road to poverty, humiliation and dictatorship. There is an opposition but when someone rises and tries to tackle the problems that are strangling our society they'll be crushed by the GIMME! crowd that squeals like the swine they are at the thought of any lessening of the government slop handouts. Even as those handouts are adulterated by worthless currency they wont question the wisdom of the direction society has taken, they'll only snort and squeal for ever more and more of the tasty garbage. By the time we arrive at the bottom, too late to change direction, the only option will be a 1984-style interactive dictatorship. The dream of the utopians will have come true and a new Dark Ages will descend on the remnants of humanity that survive the crash.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Nothing Happened


For some reason, known only to my wife, we still subscribe to a publication affectionately known as the Los Angeles Dog Trainer. Along with the New York Slimes and the Washington Compost the Dog Trainer is hot on the trail of the most important stories of the day. How about that Kanye West?

Why they even mentioned, on page fourteen, the recent upsurge in the number of tourists on the Mall in Washington DC last Saturday! It must be people who are overwhelmingly happy about the impending health care plan who have come to celebrate the Miracle Of Obamunism. What else would explain the thousands of signs with the president's name and picture on them? Of course this sunny festival was marred by some malcontents, paid for and bused in by Big Insurance no doubt, who crashed this ObamaFest with signs expressing some doubt that the President of Hope And Change will really be able to give, without raising the federal budget one penny, 60 million additional people unlimited access to free all-you-can-eat health care run by a government that cant even run a Cash For Clunkers program without a major breakdown.

But The Dog Trainer didnt give those sort of people very much ink except to imply that there weren't very many of them anyway. In The Dog Trainer everything is going just fine. They know how to report the good news that comes from a falling GDP, increasing unemployment, fewer hours worked, and a very noticeable drop in the standard of living for just about everybody as The Miracle Of Obamunism working its subtle Earth-saving magic. After all, this is all Bush's fault and it would be so much worse if Barry and Nutsy Pelosi and Beantown Barney werent around to help all us little statistical units out of this mess. That good news is SO danged good that there just isnt room to report trivia like the ongoing avalanche of tax fraud charges against the Chairman Of the House Ways and Means committee. After all, its not front page stuff like Mark Foley's e-mails or Sarah Palin's daughter's pregnancy.

When you look at the Right-Wing Fox network, wasting its time on some stupid racist story ginned up by a couple of reactionary criminals who went into several ACORN offices and received extensive advice on how to commit fraud to buy a federally subsidized condo to house their prostitution business and more helpful tips on how to avoid paying any taxes on their illegal income you have to wonder where their priorities are at. Where's the FCC when we need them? You know, there's just not enough room in a newspaper that is devoted to the real story behind Michael Jackson's death and how we all feel about it to include trivia about a federally subsidized criminal organization engaging in massive voter fraud (another wing of ACORN busted filing hundreds of phony voter registrations in Florida has been 'reported' in the Irresponsible Right Wing Media) or promoting under-aged prostitution and tax fraud. This is such an obvious Right wing ploy to attack the criminal organization that constituted Barry's only non-governmental employer before he got The Right Reverend Wright, whose fulsome utterances have never sullied the pages of the Dog Trainer, to promote his candidacy for the kick-back fourteen year stint he served in the Illinois Legislature. A stint during which he voted 'present' more often than 'aye' or 'nay' and in which he never offered a single piece of legislation with his name on it. This glowing record or his equally distinguished US Senate performance, it goes without saying, never was reported in that same Dog Trainer, a newspaper which steadfastly resists attempts to use it to pass on Right Wing propaganda like an accurate account of Barry's past record in the Legislature or the US Senate, his publicly stated views or any of the views or records of his many Marxist associates. They havent even noticed the almost total lack of associates who aren't Marxists. They're objective over at the Dog Trainer.

When a Commissar, wait, Czar, like Van Jones is hounded from his office by a bunch of howling racists hitting below the belt by playing his recorded statements and waving copies of his writings the Dog Trainer isn't going to break into its Brittany Spears comeback coverage to ask insulting questions like "Why do all of Barry's good friends sound so much like editorial writers for the Pyongyang Express?" Or questions like "Why did Barry abandon the six-nation talks and truckle to the North Korean demands for one-on-one talks?"

Its so great to have a newspaper like the Dog Trainer delivered to my door. Ever since that Federal Judge ruled that the hundred or so Delta Smelt in the Sacramento River Delta were more important than California's agricultural industry or its tens of millions of residents (not reported in the Dog Trainer which blames the current water shortage on Global Warming) my sprinklers dont even get the darned thing soaking wet like they used to, adding to my reading enjoyment. I even enjoy it more because they haven't printed anything about the Senate vote to defund ACORN or the Census Bureau severing its ties with the organization. I really prefer celebrity puff pieces! Its great to find out that executives and actors who are notorious around town as angry, egotistical horrors care so much about the planet! It renews your faith in Hope And Change.

So if you went to that misguided demonstration in Washington you can thank papers like the Dog Trainer for the cloak of invisibility that descended over The Mall last Saturday. But dont any of you counterrevolutionaries who dared to oppose fairness and justice worry that the powers in the remote Federal government are as blind as the news media they control. Nothing could be farther from the truth. A million people (the estimate by the London Telegraph, a non-Obama controlled newspaper, even the left-wing British press reported similar numbers) turning out against Hope And Change sends chills up and down their spines. They know how many people would turn out for a Pro Health care demonstration, a pro Trillion Dollar deficit demonstration, a Pro defund the military demonstration. Not many and those that would would discredit anything they supported by their appearance and their behavior. The Teabaggers showing up in such numbers have probably killed ObamaCare. Bravo!

Who would have thought that the Obamunists could be dealt a setback this serious so quickly? They seemed so invincible. But their victory last year was built on a lie, a lie the Dog Trainer was particularly vocal in repeating endlessly. It goes like this, "The Republicans are the party of big government, big deficits and big business, the Democrats are a group of reasonable moderates with the interests of the average person at heart." It worked in November. It doesnt work now because their behavior is at such odds with the image they projected to get elected. Every day the radical, Marxist Democrats are more and more despised not just by people like me, who never had a good word to say about them anyway, but by the people who bought the Hope And Change burrito and now have a mouthful of sawdust. All the loving coverage in the Dog Trainer won't help them now. One day, a little more than a year from now, I dream, I pray, I yearn for the weeping Marxist who currently holds the title of Dumbest Idiot In The US Senate (a real honor in a group of idiots that stupid), the squawking left-wing crow who has brought such shame and poverty to my beloved California, to stand on camera and blame her reelection defeat on the real culprit...George W Bush!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Laborious Day


Well, President Barry is slinking back from Marxists Vineyard to try it one more time. The fact that he is going to do a couple of speeches to 're-introduce' what turned out to be a total political disaster shows what a clueless megalomaniac he is. One of the political forefathers of Obamunism, Joseph Stalin, used to describe actions like this as 'like laying poultices on a dead man'. It shows you how sagacious Stalin was in not only describing the futility of Obama's political strategy but also describing what the health care system will be like if the Obamunists get their Marxist hands on it.

But not even a miracle will save this gaggle of hapless leftists from their political doom. They looked on the demise of Fat Teddy as just such a miracle but they didnt even get a bump in the polls from the Liberal Lion's well-hyped kicking of the bucket because their opponents were able to point out that Fat Teddy received a whole lot better care under the Senate health plan than he would have if he had been subjected to ObamaCare. Obamacare would have driven him off the bridge muy pronto and saved the resources so they could hire a few more paper-shufflers to process his death forms while he gasped for air. Here Ted, have a pain pill! The English newspapers talking about four thousand women having babies in the corridors or bathrooms of the overcrowded NHS hospitals and the deliberate killing of terminal patients in some of those same hospitals, spread by sites like the Drudge Report, cant have helped the Obamunists calm the fears of the AARP-tards in this country.

The fact is the Democrats are suffering from the results of their deceitful electioneering of last year, or should I say the last seventy years. 'We're not crazy leftists, we're moderates!' goes the line. Of all the lies the Obamunists tell, and the catalog of their mendacity is fatter than the Manhattan phone directory but with smaller print, that is the most outrageous. But with the help of a bum-crawling media that would pass muster in North Korea or Cuba while still considering itself 'objective' the Dems have been able to spin that lie for decades. The Republiclowns have lent a hand by their own lie, that they are conservatives instead of a gaggle of larcenous cronies of overinflated corporations headed by people so inept and so larded with bureaucracy and waste that they might as well be run by the government.

Obamunism triumphed in a rosy-tinged glow of 'Hope And Change'. He only had one or two stump speeches. If you watched CSPAN during the election Obama was the most boring candidate ever to take the national field, never progressing from his vague chicanery to explain who he is or what he would do. He was lucky in his opponents; the screeching harridan ex-wife of a philandering liar leaving a slimy trail of crooked Chinese cash behind her as her slug-like campaign oozed across the landscape and the senile old duffer who won the nomination by a political shell game and who incoherently led a party whose grass roots hated his guts. The Republiclowns were so uninviting that many people just stayed home while the Marching Morons, giddy on the political nitrous oxide of Hope And Change, danced to the polls to give Barry their love and to give more of that love to the Democrat 'moderates' further down the ballot.

But here we are, only nine months later, with Obama's poll numbers lower than whale poop and the numbers of the Democraptic Congress in the same fish-tank with his. His Commissar of Green Jobs has been forced to resign because of his crackpot, racist, left-wing, Jeremiah Wright-like babbling. The Science Commissar has been revealed to have written a book advocating forced sterilizations and abortions and the elimination of people too old to contribute to the coffers of the state. Barry's Secretary Of Energy wept fat fulsome tears and brought down curses on the Deniers who would dare to oppose the Obamunists' economy-crushing Crap On Trade bill on the selfish grounds that it would plunge the entire country into a Tanzania-like poverty. The newly-empowered class of regulators wants to bully everyone in every way, from telling us to replace our cheap, harmless light bulbs with expensive poison-filled ones, to telling us what kind of food to eat or beverage to consume. These cretins want to replace oil drilling, coal and nuclear power with a few million windmills and solar panels. 24 karat idiots, the lot of them; and totalitarian bullies to boot.

But there is only one real issue. Its the economy stupid. They've been bragging about how different they are from the horrible Bushies. But where's the beef? The official lying Obamunist figures admit to ten percent unemployment but other calculations, based on underemployment and number of hours worked, tell a much sadder story. The blaming of the Bush Administration is still going on but these guys passed a trillion-dollar Porculous Bill and have been pouring money into the system through the Federal Reserve's 0% lending rate, halting the slide for the moment but storing up much bigger problems for the future.

The not-too-distant future. As government spending has skyrocketed there has been a corresponding plunge in revenues. Crises in Medicare and Social Security which had been comfortably relegated to 'the out years' have been moved closer by the plunging revenues into the 'in' years. Like next year. There is nothing that will stop the coming tidal wave of inflation; the usual remedy of jacking up interest rates not being an option in an economy that is already broken. The housing crises that brought this mess on was based on the Clinton-Frank scheme in the 90's to issue worthless mortgages to people who couldnt pay them back in a million years. The coming crises will be based on the US government issuing worthless bonds that cant be paid back in a million years and then creating more phony money to 'monetize' the debt. This viciously anti-business administration and the predatory tax-addicts running most state and local governments make any economic recovery and rise in revenues totally impossible. When people talk of hyper-inflation they always point to Germany in the 1920's but that isnt a good model. A better one is Mexico in the 1980's. The same anti-business, high-tax, anti-freedom socialist policies that we are putting in place here were in place there. The Venezuelan economy, the one that got such applause at the Venice Film Festival this weekend as that insanely boring totalitarian puke of a filmmaker Oliver Stone unveiled his hagiography of the Marxist thug Chavez, is awash in the same poverty and inflation that these policies always cause.

So Barry can go on TV like Billy Mays (why did he die?) and tub-thump for BarryCare but it wont do him any good. The magic is dead and laying poultices on it wont bring it back to life, as Founding Father Joe so aptly said. Some new Commissar will be revealed saying some even more outrageous slanders against this country, the unemployment numbers will rise, the deficit, already quadrupled under Obamunism, will quadruple again. Nutsy Pelosi will insist on adding political poison pills to the Health Care bill that will enrage even more people. Crap On Trade will wend its way into law. Until Barry sacks Axelrod and Emmanuel, with their giggling joy not to waste a disaster, his numbers will head for oblivion and he'll take the rest of the Democraptic liars down with him. The country, which had forgotten the Carter mess, will be inoculated against this utopian stupidity until a new gullible generation arises to follow another Messiah over the cliff and once again AmeriKKKa's Chickens Will Come Home To Roost!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Dont Say Nuthin'


Now that the power-drunk Barak has driven health care off the bridge and it's sinking into the turgid, murky waters will he step on Fat Teddy's face to get free of the doomed vehicle and save himself? Will he make up some preposterous lie so he can come downstairs the next morning and pretend that the whole thing never happened and that he was never involved? It would be a fitting tribute to Fat Teddy's career in wrecking this country if the liberal who is currently carrying the Marxist mantle were to shamelessly hump his corpse on the way to the cemetery for political purposes in the same way that Fat Teddy had that other corpse buried without an autopsy to hide the fact that she suffocated in an air bubblewhile him and his lawyer plotted his alibi instead of calling for help. It goes without saying that the chorus of sniveling from the hosannah-singers in the Government Run Media (GRM) will reach a high-decibel shriek as they try to use Fat Teddy's mouldering corpse as a reason to steal a little bit more of our freedom. The freedom that Fat Teddy tried with every fiber of his drunken body to limit and tax and take away while he was alive. Things like the immigration bill in the 1960's that changed the criteria of admission from skilled workers to unskilled and finally the McLame-Kennedy Amnesty Bill in 2007, which basically repudiated the concept that the United States was a soveriegn nation with a border that could be enforced. How many outrages did this Enemy of our country perpetrate? In the 1980's, during Ronald Reagan's deployment of Pershing missiles in Western Europe to counter the Soviet's deployment of the much more powerful SS-20's Fat Teddy wrote a letter to Brezhnev asking how they could work together to stop Reagan. He supported the Sandanistas and opposed any aid to any ally of our country who was fighting for their survival against communist aggression. In foreign policy he always opposed America's interests. He worked hand in fist with the ACORN type activist groups who have now emerged, maggot-like, into the sunlight to feast on the ruins of our constitution and openly plot to destroy our democratic institutions. There was never a tax he didn't want to raise, never a regulation he didn't want to impose. The 'No Child's Left Behind' education bill basically federalized education and has caused chaos and a decline in literacy. His legislative record is one of complete support for totalitarianism. His Senatorial staff was involved in every legislative outrage foisted on this hapless nation for the last forty years and this band of malignant leftists were involved in trumped-up investigations that hounded his political opponents into bankruptcy.

This is a day when we are all supposed to be respectful and point out what a paragon was this inheritor of the phony, cheesy Camelot aura that the PR dolts dreamed up to pump up his incompetent brother. The media will be ignoring the murder, the lies, the coke-snorting, the wild parties, the rapes. Once when a telephoto shot of Fat Teddy porking one of his many groupies in a boat off the Florida coast was circulated in the Senate Howell Heflin, the Foghorn Leghornish Senator from Alabama remarked, "I see Senator Kennedy has changed his position on offshore drilling!" But he hadnt, not for us faceless idiots who are forced to drive our non-government provided cars to work. He opposed any expansion of our energy resources and fought to lock away greater and greater tracts of our country from energy exploration. But when it came time to build some Green windmills that might have been visible from his estate on Marxist Vineyard Fat Teddy threw a tantrum. The windmills were never built. He epitomized to a T the elitist arrogance of the class of geniuses who are better than us teabagging dolts. He was even caught cheating his way through Harvard, that festering crown jewel in America's sick university system. He almost flunked out of that boot camp for half-wits.

Are we going to switch to funeral mode and be solemn when Khalid Sheik Mohammad or Fidel Castro kicks the bucket? Not me. And this Senator, who the people of the benighted state of Massachusetts felt happy reelecting to an effective lifetime term, was no less an enemy of freedom and our country than either of those two. Think of the role of his staff in the shameful Clarence Thomas lynching before you shed a tear for this long-time member of the judiciary committee. Our nominees were treated with contempt and smeared as racists and criminals. Think of the lack of civility the left extended to qualified, respectable people who were subjected to those attacks before you forgive their author because he happened to stop breathing. In his death we should pay him back with that same lack of civility him and his rancid allies have always extended to us and use that wonderful line by that black comedienne from the 1960's Moms Mabley:
"My momma used to tell me, 'If you cant say nuthin good about the dead dont say nuthin'.
He's dead...GOOD!"

Friday, June 26, 2009

Adios Mikey!


Yesterday I was at Nickelodeon in Burbank picking up some work. While the computer guy was rendering out the animatic I walked over to the kitchen, through a crowd of ten-year-old kids and their stage mommies and daddies sitting nervously in the lounge waiting for an audition for some new show. I was getting myself a diet coke and cursing the pile of domino boxes for their emptiness CNN on the bigscreen announced 'BREAKING NEWS!' Breaking news in LA is usually a brush fire, a shoot-out or a car chase but in this case the announcer went nuclear...Micheal Jackson was dead! The North Koreans are aiming nukes at Hawaii, the Iranian protesters are having their legs broken with lead pipes and their faces slashed with straight-edged razors, the Chinese are demanding an alternative currency to the dollar, a virulent strain of the flu is engulfing the human race and the US government is taking affirmative steps to achieve the same standard of living for its citizens as exists in Jamaica; all this silly trivia was pushed aside in a second as a fleet of helicopters became airborne and began doing large circles between Jacko's rented pad up in the hills and UCLA Med Center down in Westwood.

It brought me back to the late eighties. It was a tough time in the animation biz. Hanna had sold out and Hanna Barbera was closed. The Disney debacle was happening and the hapless Disney family had paid some greenmailer so much money to drop his hostile take-over and 'The Black cauldron', one of the worst animated movies ever made, had lost so much money that they were making drastic staff cuts.

I was working for Filmation and moonlighting by doing special effects on rock videos. I did one very tricky and complicated job for this guy that had a small production house down in Hollywood and he called me in to his pot-smoke filled office one evening and offered me a gig working on Micheal Jackson's movie 'Moonwalker'. It was a substantial raise from being an FX animator on 'He-Man' and working at Filmation was depressing. When I told the head of the FX department I was quitting he went ballistic and screamed I just lost my seniority (a joke) and that I'd never work there again. He was right--Loreal bought the studio and closed it three weeks later, putting the entire 600-person staff out of work with little hope of getting another animation job. That was the first benefit I got by working for Mikey.

My 'boss' was an editor named Dale, a condom advocate in his free time who had his little office plastered with Captain Condom posters. My bigger boss was named Jerry an entertainment lawyer who decided he was a director and had such a strong personality that no one dared to argue with him about it. He and Mikey's manager Frank, a rotund Italian gentleman who looked like the kind of guy who kept a torture chamber in the cellar of his mansion for those carefree moments when he wasnt intimidating poeple in his professional life, were running the show.

This wasnt one of those jobs where you actually had to go there every day and show up at some arbitrary time, two of the worst aspects of any employment in my mind. We would think of stuff we wanted to do and write it down on a legal pad and Dale would get in his bashed-up VW bug and chug over the hill to Mikey's parents pad on Havenhurst in Encino where he was living at the time and Mikey would give the go-ahead or tell Dale to come up with something else. It fried Jerry that Mikey and Dale got on so well.

Jerry grew to hate Mikey with a passion. They would set up a shoot and tell Mikey to do something and he would say no. A director's nightmare and Jerry's own personal hell. He was definitely not used to hearing the word 'no' without 'problem' following it closely. But Mikey had the whip-hand and he used it on mean people who thought he was a wimp who could be bullied. Jerry was a slave to Mikey's quirks. he sat in meetings where twelve year old friends of Mikey (one of them know around the studio as Jimmy Sure-Shot) had more input than executives from Paramount. Jerry was known to smash furniture and throw loud tantrums after these meetings.

I would go over to 'Ultimate', the name of the studio, whenever they phoned me up or when I had something to show them. It was right across from Cedars Sinai in West Hollywood, the part of town with the most screwed-up traffic and legendary for its voracious parking meters. All of the few spaces at Ultimate were assigned but if you parked in a space on the street and got a ticket you could just lay it on the accountant and they would happily pay it. I could go into any art store and buy any art supplies that I needed and be instantly reimbursed in cash with no questions asked. My conscience still rankles at the beautiful set of paintbrushes that I purchased, used on one shot and kept. There were others with less conscience, but they were fools. this is a small town and getting a reputation as a sleaze can cost you a lot more than you can steal from an open-handed employer like Mikey.

On Fridays I would drop by to get my check. The head accountant, an extremely beautiful, elegantly-coiffed gay guy had a gray box full of cash that had 'Micheal' painted on the side. 'Michael' took anyone who wanted to go to lunch. 'Michael' didnt take us to Pinks on Melrose for a sidewalk chili dog, either. One drop of Pink's chili would have caused hundreds of dollars of damage to some of the outfits that were worn so fashionably by the 'Ultimate' staff so we restricted our jaunts to restaurants in Beverly Hills or on the Westside that were a little more upscale. The first time I opened a menu in one of those joints in almost lost control of my sphincter muscles. Appetizers were fifty bucks, and this was in the eighties when prices were 50% lower than they are now.

"I know it makes you nervous but you have to order an appetizer or we'll all be real mad," teased one of the women. When I got home and told my wife I'd just had a $200 lunch she got mad and asked whether I could have just asked for my share of the lunch in cash. No, that would have been uncool and being uncool was the worst thing you could have done. 'Michael' took us to some amazing joints, as Gary, the controller, knew all the best little bistros in downtown BH.

One sunny Sunday my daughter and her friends were playing out front and Katy was hit by a car and rushed to the hospital. I phoned up the office and told them what had happened and that I wouldnt be able to work for at least a week. The accountant phoned me back and said that they had mentioned it to Michael and he had told them just to mail me my checks for the next three weeks and to not worry about working. The next day we were sitting by Katy's hospital bed when a burly guy came in wheeling a gigantic monstrosity of a flower display. There were balloons with teddy bears inside of them peaking out of the exotic flowers. Everyone at Ultimate had signed the card and Dale had run over to Encino and gotten the MJJ scrawl. The hospital staff were suitably impressed.

I would do a lot of my shooting down at a tiny animation camera service down in Hollywood. That left me in a crime-filled part of town at two am, rushing the exposed film from the camera service to CFI to get there before the overnights turned into expensive daylights. The cameraman I worked with was this cat named Chris who would occasionally stop shooting to snort lines of coke off of a grubby mirror. He called it 'go powder'. I had reformed myself by that time but was still in the game enough to spot the tell-tale yellow of methedrine mixed in with the crap he was snorting. He didnt care. We would work all night sometimes. Shooting whatever variations we could think of.

Mikey was doing one of his incognito journeys down to the beach in Venice and found an old wino who had a guitar, a drum on his back attached to a string and a harmonica wired to his face who called himself 'The Amazing One-Man Band'. Michael paid him $100,000 or some vast sum to be in 'Moonwalker'. Jerry went ballistic, screaming that he could have hired this jerk for fifty bucks. Jerry hated when people wasted money without him getting a chunk; it was a kind of focused thriftiness. But he hired several camera crews and a temporary editor and a couple of assistants to deal with the hundreds of feet of film they were shooting down in Venice. Somehow Pepsi donated a huge amount of soda to the shoot. The small offices of Ultimate were filled with cases of Pepsi and Sprite. When I turned up that day they said that I had to take as many cases as my tiny Datsun would hold. My wife cracked up when I turned up back home with thirty cases of soda loaded into my car, the hatchback tied with twine to allow more cases. One of the assistant editors on this sequence was this guy from Texas who would tell tales of wandering around bars in Hollywood with the guy who played 'Data' on the new Star Trek, looking for women. He was Data's wing man. They worked like fury on this for several weeks. Meanwhile Mikey split for a tour in Europe. Jerry cut the sequence together, flew to Rome, rented a movie theater and grabbed Mikey (not easy) to screen 'The Amazing One Man Band' sequence. Michael turned to him and said, "That's really nice Jerry but I dont think it fits." And walked out. We were all ducking Jerry for the next couple of weeks after he got back. He was in a rage.for a week after he got back.

The rap party was a hoot. The band he had toured with, including Cheryl Crow, was there. They rented the posh DGA theater on Wilshire. There was a mountain of shrimp and lobster and a fountain that poured liquid chocolate onto a mountain of strawberries. Moet Chandon flowed like water.

As the production ended Michael's tour played LA, down at the sports arena. there were tons of tickets floating around Ultimate and I went to see him twice. Both times he was fantastic. You shouldnt be allowed to say anything about Mikey if you've never seen him perform live. I've seen James Brown. Bob Marley, Pavarotti, and a million others and Mikey was The King Of Pop! He rocked. the show was wonderful. the crowd responded to every move with hysterical applause and delight. He was the best.

So now he's dead. Everybody is obsessing about what a freak he turned into one more time but there should be a word about the kind side of MJJ. He saved me from a terrible year of unemployment, paid me highly, let me dream up my own projects and, although I never met him personally, sent me some really complimentary messages through Dale. He hated hustlers and bullies and although he didnt have any personal contact with the artists who worked for him he treated us with kindness and respect. He had a horrible life. People who are happy dont shoot up demerol. He had something that the crowd loved and that love killed him. This is the biggest celebrity death since Elvis. I hope his torments are over. Rest In Peace, Mikey.