Sonia, Darling! I Love You!

Wait a goldanged minute! I forgot that I was a Born-Again Moderate there for a second. Maybe its time to put on my Moderate Cap and give Sonia Sockmonster a second look. As I travel around the Right Wing Blogger's trail and twist my dial around the AM band from extremist radio show to crackpot incendiary talk host all I hear is people moaning and yelling on behalf of those poor, mistreated firedudes in Connecticut. Unfortunate victims of racism by the Sockmonster, it turns out. Poor old dyslexic Ricci actually studied for this exam while his black colleagues were undoubtedly sitting at home watched the NBA playoffs and downing a few brews, waiting for the quotas to kick in. IS THIS AMERICA? GRRRRRR...

As a resident of the Great Bankrupt State Of Gollyvornia (renamed by The Jerkinator) I'm used to seeing firefighters as victims of injustice. Every time the Powers That Be in the Democrat dominated state legislature are too cowardly to enact some new outrage against the moronic, mouth-breathers who elected this egregious pack of wild-spending hippies and Mexican Marxists to that Love-In in Sacramento in the usual landslide, these same 'legislators' put whatever bad idea they cant bring themselves to openly support on the ballot as a referendum. A bankrupt state 'investing' $3 billion bucks on embryonic stem-cell research? Won by a landslide! The Jerkinator wanted to sock a giant tax increase to us just this month so they put it up for a special election.

Because the usual gang of idiots were too lazy to vote in a special election the state was saved from this latest outrage by a bunch of Tea Baggers, now so angry at the disastrous onset of Obamunism and the stupidity of their fellow citizens that they flocked to the polls and voted the measures to extinction in a 10% turnout with the zombies at home watching Oprah and exercising their rights conferred by Bowers vs Hardwick. But the Dummycraps tried their best to inflict this new outrage on an overtaxed population. They spent a huge amount of money on ads calling on us to more fully fund the Megastate. Almost all of the hundreds of millions spent came from the coffers of the public employee unions.

And when Public Employee Unions want to put their hands more deeply into your pocket and give you the old Big Government testicular squeeze what do they do? They hire some Hollywood actor and stick him in a fireman's suit, hand him an ax and put him on TV. Please, this Hero Of Combustion implores, dont let them lay me and my heroic, civic-minded pals off. Taxes arent high enough for us to afford for Gollyvornia to ambulance every illegal alien with a sore throat to free medical care, pay worthless political cronies giant consulting fees to conduct useless studies to determine just why all the programs the government inspires are ineffective. We're not taxing enough to be paying billions for useless windmills and solar panels that break after two weeks. We dont shell out enough taxes for every state employee to have a brand new state-provided hybrid car or for those giant towers full of educational bureaucrats AND also to put out any fires that might break out. Taxes are just too darned low and obviously the low-priority firefighters are going to be the first to go in any budget cuts before any of the vital windmills and bureaucrats.

Now we know these arent real firemen we're seeing on TV ads. They're the kind of Firey Adonises who fight giant five thousand degree chemical blazes with their shirts off, the flickering glow playing across their freshly-waxed, magnificently toned pecs in movies like 'Backdraft'. Chick porn firefighters. They use their super-long hoses to quench the flames in your heart. The ones in the ads have eyes like sad basset hounds. PLEASE! DONT TAKE MY JOB, YOU MEANIES! Those poor, underpaid paragons have enough dough to saturate every media market in this hugely expensive state with ads on every channel from morning to night. No broadcast network station is too big or cable outlet too small for you to avoid the soulful big eyes of these firejerks as they plead for you to push the state and yourself a little closer to insolvency on their behalf.

Which brings us, inevitably to Ricci vs Destephano, the case that supposedly defines Sonia Sockmonster as unfit, because of her racist views, to be a member of the Supremes. It turns out that Reese is a dyslexic who had to get a friend to read the test manuals into a tape recorder so he could study up for the exam. Some delightful Keystone Kop images of him pointing his high-pressure hose in the wrong direction occur to one but I'll resist the temptation to go whole hog, as a moderate must. The blogs and the airwaves are full of loud wails on behalf of Ricci and his white buddies, so severely treated by La Sockmonster in her clumsily-worded, semi-literate, one-paragraph 'decision'. It was a decision so short and lacking in substance that our Esteemed Master Of Hope And Change was able to take some time out from fixing the weather and the health care system in his busy four-hour workday to actually read the entire decision from beginning to end and be suitably impressed before his afternoon round on the golf course. It dripped with empathy and compassion and The Father Of The Nation decided to give the Gift Of Compassion to every American by placing this not-too-bright, angry, left-wing judicial anarchistic legislator on The Court.

Should we be upset on behalf of the dirty deal done to Ricci and the boys? Maybe. Maybe not. After all, even though Reese doesnt have the sad eyes, waxed torso and elegantly-styled hair of one of our beloved TV firemen he is a member of a left-wing public employee union in a left wing state. The only Republiclowns who ever get elected in Connecticut are oleaginous worms like Lowell Weiker or Chris Shays (who was apparently too 'right wing' to hang on to his seat) who routinely cause nausea and seasickness amongst their Republiclown brethren when they turn up at conventions and are mobbed by the left-wing media hoping for, and usually receiving, embarrassing statements reviling the nominee. Not that a single one of those fire dorks ever voted for even a liberal Republiclown in their wildest dreams.

Thats right. When the Kelo vs. New London decision said it was alright for corrupt city officials to seize people's homes and sell them to crooked developers to raise additional tax and bribe money was the mass demonstration that didnt happen led by an angry contingent from the New Haven Firefighter's Union? When that sniveling, sanctimonious hypocrite liberal Marxist Lieberman ran for reelection or the cravenly corrupt Stalinist Dodd-erer, who played a key role in wrecking our banking system while he was very publicly pocketing huge bribes from sleazy criminals announced his candidacy, did he hear from the center of resistance that was developing in the heart of the staunchly pro-freedom, clean government gang down at the firehouse in New Haven? Not a dickey-bird from these Hope And Change Obama voters.

If the chickens vote for Colonel Sanders should we cry when we find them in the cardboard bucket deep fried and covered with batter? These guys are Democrats and have been all their lives. Affirmative Action has been around a long time and it always was nothing more than a racial quota system that ignored qualifications in favor of group rights. These DEMOCRATS voted for it again and again. So now you studied for the test, passed it and didnt get the job? Too darned bad Fire Dopes! This is the world you chose. You wanted to be in a cushy class of highly-paid employees with total job security and a pension plan that somebody would have to be a millionaire to afford in the private sector. That comes with the affirmative action baggage attached, in case you didnt notice.

So Sockmonster is a good fit for a system that could elect a loser like Obama and sixty senators all devoted to destroying everything that made this country a success. Ricci and the others got exactly what they deserved under a system where laws have been replaced by compassion and empathy. Lets hope they have their hoses ready when Global Warming sets the world on fire.

Chicks And Balances!

Some of us hard-boiled misogynistic right wing dinosaurs might be a little behind the curve on this New Woman thing. We always make such a big deal about the ‘original intent’ without being able to perceive the penumbras of the emanations. George Washington predicted in one of his best graphic novels “Georgie Goes To Girly World’ that one day, in less enlightened times, the defense of the concept of lap-dancing as Free Speech would fall on the courts.
“One day the government will be handing hurricane victims vouchers that will allow them to exercise this important freedom to the fullest,” he opined, hopefully dreaming of an expansion of government services unforeseen by the less visionary Madison, Adams and Jefferson. Washington continued, “To protect our unique lifestyle choices we need justices on the Supreme Court who aren’t afraid to expand the Constitution beyond its written limits in the name of compassion and fairness.”
The next greatest President to Washington or even better than that, possibly, has heard George’s plea across the centuries. Wiser than his years and limited legislative experience would suggest, Our Maximum Leader, The Friend Of The Auto Workers has searched far and wide for the perfect person for the Supreme Court vacancy left by the departure of one of the most slimy, inarticulate weasels ever to curse the jurisprudence of a declining nation. He was the Booby Prize we received for caving in to the left on Bork, the kind of Republican the left likes…to wit, a commie in a monkey suit. A guy who thinks it’s a great idea to let corrupt city councils use eminent domain to seize private residences and sell them to crooked developers who promise to fork over higher taxes and bribes. That’s why they would cite the Yemenese Constitution for authority on stuff like that.
But the Master Of The Teleprompter, in his wisdom, has reached out into the Pool Of The Compassionate and extracted one Sonia Chinga-mejor…did I get that right? These Mexican names always throw me off. Anyway Barry checked out Sapphomoisture’s papers and hired her. He picked her because…she’s a Chick, and doesn’t the penumbra emanating from the Constitution demand Chicks and Balances? Now Ruth Vader G will not only have someone else on the court with the memory of what it is to be a thirteen-year-old girl but she have a pal in Sagmaster who still retains the average thirteen-year-old girl’s knowledge of Constitutional Law. But, as Barry so sagely pointed out when he announced Sonia’s canonization, it was all about feelings. He didn’t mention the constitution. Isn’t a Hispanic woman more likely to rule us pitiful slobs with empathy and compassion? When a bunch of white bucks were getting ‘uppity’ in Connecticut, passing their promotion exams just to make minorities feel bad, Sonia Sockmonster wrote a one-paragraph opinion that sent those Fitzies back to the potato patch! Our Elected Demi-God swooned as Soggymugger announced that the Constitution didn’t contain any rights for white firemen that a Compassionate Woman Of Color was bound to respect. You know, the Pro-Active Constitution that The Annointed One claims was written to mandate redistribution of wealth…

Hey! But we’ve got other branches of government too, just as important as the courts, and once again the babes are making their mark! Think of it, the first female Speakerette Of The House! Nan’s a wowser! What does a gal do when the Chief Exec’s power-mad Chief Of Staff sics the White House’s media pack on her? She goes to China to talk about…North Korean missiles and nukes? Nope. The growing US indebtedness and the Chinese calls for a non-dollar world reserve currency? Not exactly. Our Chief Lawmakeress got out of Dodge with the posse at her heels and fled to Beijing to talk about Global Warming! SHE’S SAVING THE PLANET! How did we ever get along without the woman’s touch behind the gavel? I’ll bet them Chicom dictators are mighty impressed, too.

Now some of you, the ones who went to school in the fifties or earlier when they still taught these things, or those of you who might have flunked your immigration exam, are getting ready to e-mail me and remind me that we have three whole branches in this here government! Now of course the Executive Branch is headed by The Majority Winner, The Man Who Crushed The Evil Bankers, The Fixer Of The Weather, El Presidente. But even a savant who eats sleeps walks talks lives Compassion for us poor ignorant insects, who looks after our welfare like a Father, who shines upon us like a Mighty Sun of Compassion, needs help to accomplish his massive Good Works with such consummate skill. And who is more of a help and support to The One than Hillary? With the inspiring moral example of a president who is engaged in muzzling and threatening prosecution to our intelligence services, dismantling our missile defenses and gutting our military with budget cuts the redoubtable Hillary is shaming those evil dictators into ending their nuke and missile programs by holding up our noble moral example. She’s got Putin, Kim Jong Il, and Ahmedinejahd eating out of the palm of her hand. The Magic Of Diplomacy! Or should I say The Woman’s Touch? It wont be long at this pace before that thug Hugo Chavez is on his knees, with tears of repentance in his eyes, paying homage to our example of international good citizenship.

It turns out that the rejection of the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution was unconstitutional and now the court is moving one more step closer to recognizing that salient fact, or should I say injustice? Hey, where would we be without these geniuses? So Compassionate!

If This Is Friday It Must Be Belgium!

What country are we in today? Land Of The Brave, Home Of The Free? No WAY! This is a country overrun with retarded voters so stupid, so corrupt, so blind to their own interests that they have installed a political party with an agenda based 100% on lies. Global Warming; lie, temperatures are going down and even a report on the subject handed to our Beloved President by the EPA admits that the scientific case hasnt been made and that Climate Change was mainly political. The Stimulus Bill has had absolutely no effect on the economy because it wasnt a stimulus bill at all, another lie. They've doubled the Federal Budget overnight and lied about it. They are in the process of gutting the military and through weak and misguided actions like our pitiful non-response in Somalia putting the lawless and greedy on notice that America has lost the will to defend itself or its allies while they proclaim themselves heroes for shooting three pirates. Everything this crowd does is a lie. They were the ones who were going to eliminate earmarks...enough said.

In this country that has so lost its way, there is a city sitting on the tip of a peninsula jutting into the Pacific Ocean, forming a huge bay. The City is built on rolling hills and is blessed with ocean breezes and glorious views and is comprised of charming bay-windowed row houses and a gleaming steel-towered business district. This place of beauty is inhabited by rats. Every species of anti-individual, collectivist, utopian, militant, zany control freak thrives in this polluted intellectual broth. The world would be better if....you fill in the blank....if everyone stopped driving cars, if animals had rights and could vote, if everyone was gay, if the United States would disarm and grovel fulsomely to every benighted savage who has been armed by the local radicals with some obscure historical grievance, if we were all Wiccans, if we all wore plastic trash bags instead of clothes, if we all stopped wearing clothes at all, if we got rid of plastic trash bags, if we recycled to the point of madness, if we listened to Mother Earth, if this, if that; all of it with one thread- the world would be a perfect place if you other people would just do as I say. These geniuses have contempt for the rights of others. Your rights are the problem in utopian schemes. Everything has already been figured out in advance so no questions are even necessary. Just DO IT!

And when a community composed of such strangely obsessed pseudo-Marxist degenerates gets together to elect a representative to the House Of Representatives of the United States they so deeply despise, whose Pledge Of Allegence has long been chased from their schools, what do they come up with? What kind of a political monstrosity can a sick village like this inflict on a declining nation? When you have a political coalition that includes bikini-clad transvestites wearing nun's habits, Dolphins Rights advocates, members of zombie religious cults, members of Green Marxist groups, members of Red Marxist groups, people who want to kill anybody who doesnt want to Save The Planet, dissolute left-wing heirs to Robber Barons, coke freaks, Wiccans, Satanists, people who have anonymous sex in gay bathhouses, parks and on the internet, utopians, legal dopeans, GreenPeace, EarthNow!, bikers, computer programmers, website designers, Chinese human traffickers, Trekkies and a few moderate Democrats, what kind of a candidate do you come up with?

Its like a municipal intelligence test. Do you believe that the government can control the weather? That super-progressive high taxes are 'fair'? That the government can run the medical system better than the private sector? That the Islamonazis are not a threat to a people who recognize their just grievances? That the main threat to freedom in this country is Born-Again Christians? That dope should be legal? That plastic grocery bags are evil? That the government had nothing to do with the sub-prime bubble? That all business is evil? That people who make a profit are thieves, stealing from the poor? That every gun should be confiscated immediately? That the justice system has unfairly imprisoned many innocent people on the basis of race? That BUSHLIED! That America's Chickens Have Come Home To Roost? If you are this deluded, this stupid, this misguided, if you are wandering aimlessly in the fever-swamps of the Left then inevitably your little pointer will wander down the ballot, a ballot fully stocked with snake-charmers, Castroites and assorted oddballs and alight on the People's Choice for San Francisco...NANCY PELOSI!

Yes, this waif-thin sexagenarian, whose lift-job is so tight you could bounce a quarter off her tympany-tight mug, whose eyes bug out like a egg-laying hen in a factory farm thats been overdosed with chicken-meth. A scrawny wattle, always impervious to surgical intervention, runs from her fragile, pointed jaw, down her neck into her expensively suited starved carcass, belies her spurious claim to youth. She has been described by colleagues as 'crazy as a loon and meaner than a junkyard dog'. A control freak. What do you expect from a city composed of lunatic control freaks? She's also totally oblivious to how she comes across to the patches of the nation that still retain a semblance of sanity. What moment is more embarrassing than Nan in the designer Chairman Mao get-up popping up and down behind Barry The Wonderful during the State Of The Utopia message? She had an on-screen orgasm when he said that the days of private jets were over. You could see the muscles spasming under her perma-rigid face-mask and she gasped for breath through her tightly-stretched, bulging-lipped carp-mouth as the hands clapped so fast they were an invisible blur of sexual fever. This a few days after San Fran Nan was reported throwing a savage meltdown temper tantrum because the government jet she was assigned wasnt big enough. The little hands were flapping together like hummingbird wings behind Barry. It was so cracked that it actually defined him as the Saint Of The Crackpots. There was our National Crackpot behind him bobbing up and down like an amphetamine lap-dancer speed-clapping her skeletal talons together and swooning with extasy at The Telepromptered Word!

But something's wrong. Someone is out to get the cracked old broad. Who would be so sexist as to have it in for America's Most Powerful Woman? Here she is caught on the wrong side of the torture issue. Torture, from San Francisco. This is so shocking that many of Pelosi's supporters went into a rage and paddled their life-partners extra hard the evening the story broke. The cuffs were tight in Nob Hill boudoirs that night, I can tell you. More than harmless caterpillars were applied to the trembling torsos of acolytes at several cult-houses to try to assuage the outrage. Whips cracked, blood flowed through broken leather. The screams of the Enlightened echoed through the fog. But the damage is done. No matter how she tries to spin it the truth is out. Bush Lied...and so did OUR NANCY! At least Dick Cheney didnt try to deny that our Militant allies were given more than a stern talking to (the policy of the current administration). But of course we all hate Dick cheney..but San Fran Nan? Our Marxist National GrandMa? Can it be true?

They told her about waterboarding and caterpillars and she kept her mouth shut except when she opened it to lie about whether they told her or not. Given the current state of the media groveling at the feet of the government its interesting that this story is out at all. Why is Nan the goat? Why is her position suddenly so precarious? Has Barry turned on her? Is Rahm stabbing her in the back? A power-play by Hoyer? Who cares? The great thing is to watch the eyes bug-out with fear and the wattles tremble as she ineptly fields the questions of the tame Obamunist press. The Nixonian beads of sweat slowly carve Martian canals in the caked-on foundation as she is cruelly caught in lie after lie. The tightly-clasped horny-skinned talons clutching ever-tighter as she quivers with rabbit-like fear under the eye of Big Media.

The problem is that this benighted country has elected people like this and given them total power. The electoral system has just turned into a way for government cronies to aggrandize themselves at the expense of the common good. That goes for the Republiclowns too. Dummy Hastert should replace that slightly smaller pachyderm as the symbol of that claque of idea-less Chamber-of-Commerce silk-suited con-men. Changing parties wont cause one dollar of cuts in this avalanche of spending. The system is broken. The checks and balances that were so lovingly designed by a group of Founding Fathers, who had servants who were more aware and better educated than the average modern politician, have broken down in the hands of a political class that lacks the rudiments of common sense. And who is chosen as the most powerful leader among the leaders of this corrupt political class? Who can lead a group of thieves so dishonest, so merciless in their greed, such strangers to truth and probity? Nancy, Murtha, Hoyer, Waxman...these are the maggots who feast on the rotting corpse of our constitution. And the country keeps electing these geniuses. Its worked for the last seventy years. The Rep goes to Washington DC and 'brings home the bacon'. Its over. These idiots are leading us to bankruptcy and much sooner than you think. We elected them. Its our fault.

Let's All Move Toward The Center

Some people accuse me of being a hot-tempered, crackpot extremist. My wife thinks I'm a complete loony. After all, I dont have any assets to talk about. I drive a fifteen-year-old car and live in an earthquake-ravaged shack with a cracked slab foundation on a badly compacted cut- and-fill lot on a steep hillside which is only held in place by the varmint-infested vegetation which court-imposed water rationing will kill by the time the hot weather kicks in in July. During and after the Writer's Strike last year I spent a long stretch collecting unemployment from a beneficent state and didnt feel any shame in doing it. Then I got a night-shift job in a special FX house where I was consorting with sundry dead-end types. So why am I not a Democrat? Is it just sheer perversity?

And now the moderates have lowered the boom on us poor, discredited throwbacks by bringing up their big guns; to wit, Colin Powell and Megan McCain. They've convinced me that I've been wrong all along. Americans want more taxes and bigger government. Isnt that what Barry and the Gang ran on in last year's election? I remember Obama saying, "I'm going to raise your taxes so I can partially pay for a massive spending spree by Congress! The rest we'll Print!" Compelling stuff, kind of like Lincoln. And now Powell avers that if the Republicans dont jump on the Government Train they'll be left behind at the station. That makes me feel really bad because for the last two years in the pages of this blog I've been accusing those recalcitrant GOPers of already being on the Big Government Express. I guess they werent on board enough.

Now that Janet Napolitano has labeled conservatives as terrorists and extremists, unlike the 'militants' who were so mistreated at Club Gitmo, and Barry was seen cracking up as some dreary comedienne yelled that she hopes Rush Limbaugh's kidneys fail (gosh, I wish I'd thought up that line...its a corker!) maybe its time to jump on that speeding train myself instead of pointing to that signal that says that the bridge is out up the line.

Its funny though, just as I drop my extreme ideology and embrace the warm glow of Obamunism an article pops up in a newspaper that makes a moderate like me pretty danged angry.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/barackobama/5301078/
Barack-Obamas-rich-supporters-fear-his-tax-plans-show-hes-a-class-warrior.html

OK, its a furrin' newspaper and we all know what a bunch of alcohol-soaked sociopathic antisocial maniacs those British reporters are. They probably hire them in bars that cater to bender drunks who flunk out of anger-management therapy. Before I became a moderate I would cruise the electronic pages of The Sun or The Evening Standard just to tank up on inflammatory rhetoric and to dream of a couple of these sneering, cynical, reprobates being admitted to an Obama press conference instead of those reverent bootlicking brownnosers from the Obamunist media. But this story is from The Telegraph, which is a newspaper read by staid English conservatives; bankers by day, leather-clad spankers by night and wankers all the time. Folks who have never been fond of verbal excess in the newspapers they read.

The story is a cautionary tale for any banker or twee upper middle classnik. It seems some of Obama's richest supporters are concerned he might be taking his non-ideological moderation too far. They had all been thinking he was just another Bill Clinton, spooning out the class warfare blab for the rubes and forming a line at the side door for 'contributions'. We all (us moderates that is) knew Clinton was lying, it was part of his charm! We could just park our assets in states with no income tax or in offshore tax shelters, hand a bit of baksheesh to the powers that be and everything was copesthetic. All of those tax cheats Obama nominated for high office skated through previous audits, it was only when the honest accountants started checking them out in public that it turns out that all of them had some fishy tax problems. Thats the nice thing a bout moderation, you might choose to be moderately honest, but if you dont Who Cares? Nancy Pelosi just had Barry order Atty General Eric Holder to drop all investigations of moderate (aka Democrat) officeholders. You're one of the boys in this big, huge fraternity of public servants. And I'm going to be there on rush night to sign up for my slice of the moderate pie.

You see, as a moderate I get to hate some of the same half-wits I did when I was a terroristic Right-Wing nut! Only better. How many times have you stood, watching CNBC, thinking how nice it would be if Warren Buffet was stripped of every single penny, no matter who it was that did it? It seems ol' Warren is worried that these arent the same kind of moderates that the Clintons were. Ditto, Bill Gates. I dont care how much philantropic Save The Planet hogwash he spews, Gates having a hundred billion or so to spend however he likes means he hasnt been paying his fair share. Yeah! And Uncle Barak and the gang are going to do more than talk about it, especially as the Fairness Society slides into bankruptcy as a result of eight years of Bush mismanagement.

The first glimmers of fear are starting to enter the brains of the elite and wealthy geniuses who plunked down the cash that rocketed Barry to the White House. Glimmers that say that Barry believes every word he was saying on the campaign trail. They're beginning to listen to Nancy Pelosi and Henry Waxman with new ears. This Hope And Change stuff might be a little dicey if you are the ones holding all the assets when the Megastate goes bankrupt. They've already taxed the crap out of us little dopes. We're skint.

And now Steven Spielburg, its time for you to be skint too. You got hosed by Bernie Made-off and you got hosed by Barak Obama and now this is the part of the movie where the Obamasaurus eats your bank account, your many houses, your fleet of cars, your private jet, and all the other accoutrements of making an obscene profit, leaving you a gentile pauper like Ingmar Bergman with a 102% tax rate. Now thats a film I'll want to see twice! Enjoy the popcorn, fools!

Being a moderate is going to get better, too. As the tidal wave of cash being generated by the Fed and the obscene orgy of government spending reaches a crescendo the upper middle class, the smug granola eaters who rolled on the ground in an ecstasy of Obama-love during the last election, will abandon Whole Foods for Wal-Mart as inflation surges in like a tsunami and turns their dream castles in the retirement sands, the precious 401ks that they have devoted a lifetime of squirrel-like accumulation to gather, into a flat beach, a level beach, a more fair beach! A beach with no Global Warming, a beach with no traffic jams in a world where cars are assigned to government officials on the basis of need, a beach where squatters huddle in the ghostly, lightless ruins of the cheaply-built seaside mansions looking around at the jimcrack, rotting plasterboard and telling tales to their gape-mouthed, ragged, unbelieving children of the glittering world that has passed and gone.

I'll be smiling. I can accept my fate, whatever it is, if I know that the people who turned their backs on our free society and so blithely led us away from sense and sanity will someday know how wrong they were. Their bitter sense of betrayal will make up for all the condescension and smugness as they mapped out the landscape of Hope And Change in their little brains, a million different fantasies of No More Bush! They should have read a few of the books by 'old dead white men' that made the case for the old wealth-generating society but during the Vietnam War those books were expelled from Academia and replaced with the Marxist tomes that were absorbed so well by Barry and the Clintonoids.

So lets nationalize Microsoft, Apple, Berkshire-Hathaway, Soros Holdings, Disney, Dreamworks, B of A and all those huge enterprises run by the super libs who ignored reality and went for Hope And Change. We can turn them over to moderates in the unions or ACORN who will abandon the obscene quest for profits and concentrate on fairness and moderation. Like in Cuba or Venezuela. Maybe Micheal Moore can make a film about a new and more human America and call it 'Celsius Zero' to show that we're all caught like flies in amber by a frozen, rigid economy that doesnt let the rich and energetic steal from the poor and laid back. A moderate utopian paradise!

So, my conservative friends, its time to throw off the chains of free market economics, free speech, equality of all before the law, religion-based non-flexible morality and let the moderation flow into your hearts. Colin will he proud, so will Megan McCain. And if you dont get your minds right remember, we've got your names!